Hello Roger

Hello Roger.

Please remain calm and read ALL of this booklet
BEFORE you get out of bed. Read it as many times as you wish and absorb
all the information it contains. We're sure you'll have many questions
and we have attempted to answer the important ones in the "FAQ" section
at the back

Firstly I should explain that the room you have woken up in is not your
bedroom. It's an exact replica but this one is contained in a sealed
concrete room some sixty feet beneath our headquarters here in
Scotland. That's right, you're not in Surrey any more, we moved you in
the night. There are no doors or windows but you are COMPLETELY SAFE
AND IN NO DANGER WHATSOEVER. You will only have to spend a very short
time here. Please remain in bed and finish this booklet before
investigating. The reason for this elaborate deceit is that we wanted
you to wake up in familiar surroundings so you would remain calm long
enough to pick up and read this booklet although we've had to explain
your true location straight away so you don't absentmindedly wander
around whilst reading and panic when the door won't open, thus
forgetting to read on.
[For the record. I don't see the point in all of that. Maj.
Perry]

You're probably wondering why you're taking this so well, it's because
we've given you a mild sedative to help you relax, nothing too heavy,
just a relaxant. You'll appreciate this as you read on.

WHO ARE WE AND WHY ARE YOU HERE?
We are three people:

Prof. Alison McDonald.
Maj. Ronald Perry.
Felicity Baxter.

Our Roles are varied. Alison, for example was head of languages for the
Un council for eighteen years and is amongst the three most highly
respected entomologists in the world. Major Perry is a retired American
soldier who has lead troops all over the world and has been decorated
with the Purple Heart and the Congressional Medal of Honour. Felicity
is your auntie.
We represent a team of over four hundred people, mainly involved in the
military or government of one country or another but only we three know
of your reason for being here and what you must do. Only we three have
been involved in the writing of this booklet and we will be the only
ones in direct contact with you while you are here in Scotland.
Our people have been studying you for every second of every day of the
last three years. [remain calm Roger, this is only the first of several
surprises you will need to accept as you read on, we will answer all
your questions in due course. Maj. Perry]
We have studied everything about you. For example, the informal way in
which this booklet is written stems from studies showing that you do
not respond well to formality or written information in text books.
This is also why we didn't bother with all the letters after our names
listed above, we know you never bother to read things like that.
We understand your sense of humour and what methods of communication
work best with you so please understand that while the tone of this
booklet may seem light and even humorous at times it is only the method
of communication we three have been told to use and we are trying our
best. The information it conveys is entirely true and very serious
indeed.

Why are you here?
Well this is the big question and, in all honesty, the answer is
extremely simple and yet inexplicably complex. Our psychologists tell
us you will absorb the information better if it is delivered in a
single, short statement and then explained later [ I agree. Auntie
Fliss] but we didn't want to do it all separated out and in bold
letters as that would draw your eye straight to it and give you a shock
so we've decided to slip it in with the rest of the writing in the hope
that you will be a little better prepared for what is going to be a
huge shock you have to kill your mother next Tuesday to save the human
race, there that wasn't so bad was it?
Take as long as you want to re-read the above statement and absorb the
awful truth it contains for you. Pace the room, do what you like, take
as long as you want but eventually you'll want some kind of
explanation.

What you are about to read is entirely true although it will seem the
most ridiculous fantasy to you. It did to us three but the years spent
asking questions and having all of them answered has altered our minds
to the only truth and, ultimately, to you.
Please read on with an open mind as it is all true no matter how
outlandish or silly it might seem.

In 1436 a Portuguese merchant named Salvori was visited by several
strange beings from another planet.
[Now, don't freak out Roger. Just because we've mentioned aliens. We
tried to find a good way of putting this but there isn't one and no
matter how we word it, it always sounds like something from the X
files. Never the less, it's true and should be taken very seriously.
Maj. Perry]
We know this as we have seen the footage they took of that meeting and
the many thousands of meetings since. They chose him for contact
because, frankly, at that time he was a well travelled and worldly wise
man and the best suited to understand the potential of this
encounter.
To cut a very long story short, the human race has been in constant
communication with these beings ever since and wondered why they have
not made themselves known to the whole planet rather than select
individuals. They pick certain types and swear us all to secrecy and it
makes us look like nutters to the rest of the world.
In 1965 we found out why. It seems these beings have a way of seeing
into the future and they saw the end of the human race.
This is where you come in. There are many trillions of possible
outcomes from any single chain of events. These beings can see which
will actually happen and which will just end up as 'might have
beens'.
The world will enter an all out nuclear war in eleven years time and
the human race will be effectively wiped out three days later.
To explain how killing your mother next tuesday will prevent this is
almost impossible. Even the main points in the briefest of synopses
would take more than the eleven years we have left but it comes down to
this:
The beings have tracked the chain of events back to the point at which
it can be most easily broken by intervention. That point is your
mother, next Tuesday. She tells two people something and each of those
tells more and effects many people from there. Your auntie Felicity is
part of the team here because, amongst other things, she was originally
thought to be the one to carry out the task and would have afforded
your mother another year and a half of life. Unfortunately her absence
(whilst being in the position you are in now) would have meant a
different set of events and the killing of eight people instead of just
one to stop the chain.

So there you are Roger. Now you know what you must do. You have a task
ahead of you that you must carry out and for which you will not be
thanked. In fact it will make you a murderer and probably result in
your remaining years being spent in jail, seen as some loony who keeps
ranting on about how he saved the world. It's a huge price to pay for
other peoples' lives but one I'm sure you'll see is worth paying. There
will be no support from ourselves as we are a secret organisation and
only we three know of your task.
We were chosen because, apart from our credentials and the prior
involvement of Felicity, we are all dying in one way or another and
will be taking our secret to the grave with us. Two years from now the
only person to know the truth will be you.

Major Perry will be with you in a short while to talk things through
with you and take you to meet the beings we have mentioned. We didn't
expect you to believe this without total proof so they have agreed to
meet you and show you all you need to see but you have to be prepared
in advance so we decided this was the best way.

Take a little time to read over the FAQ section that follows and, once
you've finished, feel free to go mental for a while if it helps. [it
doesn't but do it anyway. Aunt Fliss]

FAQ's
[This is a misnomer. Nobody has ever been in this situation before and
therefore these have never been asked. It should have been called
"You'll Probably want to ask these" or something. Maj. Perry]

Q. Is this a wind up?
A. No, sorry but it really isn't. Our psychologists tell us that info
like this will take several attempts to get through to you but we have
to start somewhere. Sorry again.

Q. Are you sure it's not a wind up?
A. See Above

Q. But it doesn't make sense. What has my Mum got to do with nuclear
war?
A. We can't explain it any better than we already have done. It's one
of those 'chain of events' things and has something to do with chaos
theory and butterflies and tidal waves or so we've been told.

Q. Surely, even if it's true, can't we just stop the war with politics
when the time's right?
A. No, there were more than a trillion billion options for alternative
ways to prevent this just connected with one of the receptionists at
the Whitehouse and she only works weekends but none of them were as
clean as this. The beings have told us that the best way to do it is
for your mum to die. Sorry again.

Q. Couldn't you have just got her in here and convinced her to commit
suicide?
A. Like we keep saying, that's already been looked at as a possibility
and she bottles out every time bar four. There are three failures and a
one night stand with a dosser from Skegness.

Q. So you've already seen me doing this then and it's the only
possibility?
A. You're catching on well. Yes, it's inevitable. You're going to do
it.

Q. Does that mean you see what lies ahead for me after the deed is
done?
A. Yes but we're not going to tell you that, it would mess your life up
even more. [not that we're saying that killing your mum will or won't
mess up your life at all, we're not saying anything one way or the
other about the quality of your life other than you will be successful.
Aunty Fliss]. [that is, successful in carrying out your mission, not in
life generally. Maj. Perry]. [not that you won't be of course but who
knows? Well we do but we're not telling. Prof. McDonald]

Q. Isn't it a bit of a coincidence all this? I mean the three of you
all having terminal diseases at the same time and two of you being
exactly suited for the job and the third being my own aunt. Not to
mention that whole clich? about one person saving the world at great
personal expense and tragedy and never getting any credit for it. This
bedroom thing for example is far too elaborate, I mean what did you
tell the decorators who were contracted to work in the night in a
concrete bunker? Or are you gong to tell me the three of you did all
this by yourselves?
A. Life's like that and we have no control over how clich?d it turns
out. Our illnesses are all part of this perticular set of circumstances
and help make it the favourite option. Yes we three did the
redecoration and brought you here and Major Perry has done his back in
on your skateboard as you'll see in a few hours when he comes to
collect you.

Q. What makes you think I'm capable of murder, let alone my own mother?
I'm only twelve
A. We know and we're very sorry but it's the only way out of an
infinite number of possibilities. We know you can do it because we've
seen it happen and you're very brave.
[I hate it more than anyone but just look forward to your twenty third
birthday because when it comes you'll know it'll all be thanks to you.
Aunty Fliss]

Q. Finally, is there no kind of reward you could set up for me to make
life easier, say put some money away for me to find when I'm on the run
so life won't be too hard after I've done the deed. I'm willing to
carry it out but there should at least be something in it for me apart
from the satisfaction that I saved mankind.
A. Unfortunately no. Any money would be traceable and besides we happen
to know there is no point.
[not to say you won't live long enough to see any of it or anything.
Maj. Perry]
[or that you won't need it because you're going to be very wealthy
anyway. Prof. McDonald]
[its just that anyone who is willing to kill his own mum after reading
a booklet doesn't deserve anything so tidy your room and come down to
breakfast you ungrateful and gullible little sod. Mum]