Happy Thirteenth, Little Egg!

Dear Egg,

This is your mother writing. Hello. Hope you're not too
embarrassed.

I'm 21 and you are a mere egg, only half in existence and still a girl.
I wonder if you still are? It doesn't matter, I think a mother's love
works with either gender!

I do love you very, very much and we've not even met yet so be a good
kid and don't break my heart. Actually I doubt you can. I'll always
love you, my littlest buddy. I think about you all the time.

Well, it's been thirteen years since you popped out and I hope they've
been ok for you. It could get a bit rough from here on in, but who
knows? It might be fine. I'll always be on hand if you need a little
time out. Don't be afraid to ask, I'll always have time and possibly
cake for you.

You can expect another letter on your sixteenth. I'm feeling broody so
I've written them all tonight, four days after my 21st birthday, when I
still half remember what it's like to be a kid.

Get drunk, have sex, take drugs but not too soon, eh? Hang in there
buddy, I know school's shit but it'll be over soon. Really.

All my love, always,

Your humble,

Mother
xxxxxx