Qualia

     Within the wake of something much more painful, there lies something; something I can't seem to describe. It's an unbelivable pain, so rash and blatantly empty. the air around me feels lighter than usual, and the light from the celing fan hurts to be in. Even the guitar in my favorite song feels like it's cutting me with each strum. Lighters are scattered everywhere. A sense of something lesser than me is what sits on the sofa. Not a day or more ago, the atmosphere of life had a phenomenal  trim of ecstasy on the borders of what is now known to me as a shallow and acrid room shadowed by shaking hopes and sincere desires to soar once more.
     Not only a few moments in my life latter, my beloved lay in my fragile arms, safe from pain and animosity. The miles between us grew, and our love, lust, and longing for each other with it. The bond between two souls shattered as we were cast into the raging torrent that is our lives; as horrendous as it is, it is bearable, albeit devoid of tangible joy.
     As much as it hurts to live, it hurts more to live without; to know of pleasures and fulfillment of such high caliber, with no means of obtaining it. It's an empty room full of people, screaming silently in a deep sleep, begging and pleading for the one thing that makes life seem rational. And yet, we are yet to be able to explain anything about it.
    To think of you without me right now, and to try to be able to explain how it feels, other than empty.
    It is undeniable
    You are my qualia