The Eggshell War Chapter 3.

Chapter Three.

Preparing for War.

King Shilee had crept out of the throne room when the battle had begun and gone to see his friend Sir Lite Ovand, the Court Magician. They remained locked away during the commotion and subsequent clean‑up.

“It is my fault, Sire. I am sorry to say,” Sir Lite confessed. “I was trying to take the top off the Queen’s egg. I must have got it wrong somewhere.”

“You’d better find a way of putting it back before Proudlee invades — or we invade him.” Shilee sounded as miserable as he felt.

Sir Lite was a very poor magician. He only kept his position at Court because Shilee did not feel shy with him. They sat deep in thought until the gong went to call them for their evening meal.

Hurriedly the king went and changed. Queen Rawty hated to be kept waiting. Food was important, and so there was no conversation during meals. After they had eaten, there was a concert given by the Dulanstufy National Youth Orchestra, conducted by Mr Wave De Baton with soloist Miss Tinkle De Kees. Then it was bedtime.

Next morning King Shilee did his usual archery practice. He was even worse than ever.

Then he was summoned to the throne room, where the Queen was busy drawing up plans for the war. With her were the P.M. and the leaders of the Army, General Mayhem and Colonel Bludngutz.

Queen Rawty was still in a bad mood. Her breakfast egg had not been opened properly and she had had to get up early. King Shilee sat on the throne after removing a stray cat, which had somehow managed to escape the cleaning. He listened unhappily, with mounting horror, to the discussions.

Eventually all the plans were planned and the audience over. The military men bowed to the king and left to prepare the Army. Shilee was allowed to leave. Sir Lite was studying his books of spells. There were lots of books, most of them not opened for years. The two men were soon covered in dust and cobwebs.

The next day the Home Secretary brought news that Nikitanrun had started a crime wave, which he said would last until the Mountain top was removed from the entrance to his hideout. Really, he went out robbing just to get away from his wife’s constant nagging.

Still the magician could not find a spell.

On the third day, the Chancellor reported that someone had tunnelled into the vault of the National Bank of Dulanstufy and removed all the government’s gold. Later a message came from Shortenstowt to the effect that he would return the gold when the Mountain top was restored.

Still the magician could not find a spell.

On the fourth day King Proudlee sent a message to remind them that he would invade in six days’ time, as the Mountain top was still not back in place. Queen Rawty sent a very rude reply.

Still the magician could not find a spell.

So the days passed, and as they did King Shilee grew more and more desperate. Queen Rawty’s temper was not improved by still finding bits of eggshell in her breakfast egg. Sir Lite grew frantic and tried every spell he could find, with some very odd results. I mean, have you ever seen blue‑and‑yellow striped horses, or stood with your nose pressed against the window watching it rain left shoes?

The only person who seemed to be unaffected by the crisis was Prince Charmless. He had fallen in love.

Browsing through a magazine, Eligible Brides for Eligible Princes, he had found the princess he wished to marry. Unfortunately he had been eating a chocolate éclair at the time and had put a large chocolate stain on the name of the Princess’s parents and kingdom. All he knew was her name: Princess Soweren Asty. He spent the days mooching around with her picture, cut from the magazine, clutched to his heart. Everyone was far too busy with preparations for the coming war to take any notice of him.