Looking
By erphael
- 856 reads
When I go out I don't know what I look for. I don't think I look for
anything anymore. Sometimes I do. I mean we all look, but for nothing
special, nothing in particular. You can't look for something special.
Something special finds you actually. Finding something special really
doesn't involve you finding it at all. It's more along the lines of it
finding you. You can't look for it. Because you don't know what it is
until you have. If you did it would make life a lot easier.
Sometimes I wish we could just sit back and let life happen, but I know
that's not something that can happen. To be apart of life means to
participate. However, we sometimes we need to let life just happen, let
ourselves get caught up in it. It's funny but in a way we need to
experience life and let life experience us. We're as much a part of
life as it is apart of us. Sometimes we can't afford to look because it
prevents us from experiencing. We need to breathe life, not wait for it
to happen. Of course that's not to say that we shouldn't observe, that
we shouldn't look. Thing is you shouldn't look for anything important,
well not all the time.
Believe me I know the feeling. The feeling that life is going to run
out. I said that time is with us and against us, but sometimes we have
to leave it behind to appreciate what we have. My life right now as
I've said before in so many words isn't stellar, but it's my life. Sure
I'm looking for more, but I appreciate what I have. Sometimes you have
to remember that things can always be worse or you could be completely
out of control. Savor, no, cherish what you have. It's ok to want more,
but never forsake what you have for what you want. However you need to
remember that life is what you make it. The moment you let go of he
reigns whether they're taken away or the slip through your fingers
you're giving away your freedom and for what?
So what's looking about? Trying to see what's out there? Remembering
what you have and what you don't? Who knows? Only you do, but I tell
you what, there's nothing wrong with looking. There's nothing wrong
with wanting. It gives us something to strive for. We can't let it
control us or dominate our lives, that'' the key. Finding and gaining
control is one of the hardest things. Sometimes you feel like your feet
are planted firmly on the ground only to learn that the ground isn't as
firm as you hoped.
I know you're wondering where this headed, in all honesty, your guess
is as good as mine I just write what I feel as the thoughts flow to me.
Sometimes they come in streams or droves and sometimes their fleeting.
Right now it gives me time to think and reflect on the type of things I
want. Life is timeless, but our time in one place or another is not. I
want to attack life, but I strive to understand it, at least my place
in it, but sometimes I have to let go and let the river carry me where
it may. But as we all know that's scarier than hell, but such is
life.
Breathe in, breathe out and enjoy. We may not live only once, but we go
through these things this way only once. Repeating steps gets tired and
it's not about getting it right the first time it's about the meaning
behind the act and the words, whether it's hidden or not. Smile and the
whole world smiles back they say. Life and life is waiting there to
embrace you come good or bad. Remember no matter how low you go there's
no restraints as to how high you can fly.
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