What We're Looking For

Sometimes I wonder what we're looking for. I mean there's a lot of
things out there that we could have, but it always seems like we want
more than we can get at the moment. Maybe that's how we live out our
lives wanting what we can't get and striving to get it. Course most
people would automatically think about materialistic needs and wants,
but it's not always about that. Sometimes it comes down to wanting a
better house, better environment. Wanting things that are perfectly
natural to want, but for whatever reason you can't get them. Not that I
have the tell-all guide on how to get what you want, because believe me
there's tons of things that I want that are out of reach.

They always seem out of reach if you ask me. It's like no matter what I
do whether it's for myself or for another person I feel like I taking
two or three steps back instead of forward. I bet we all feel like that
from one time to another. I guess that's the little ups and downs of
life that makes life interesting as my friend says, but sometimes you
just want something so bad you need it, you want it, but you have to
settle for what you can get. Course that's not always the case, because
there's many of us that don't settle for what we can get. Sometimes we
set our sights on something that taking them off is just inconceivable
at the time, maybe for all time.

It's something that you want; something that you want to strive for and
you can input whatever you want for the "something", because we all
have things that matter to us. Things that we can't substitute "B" for
when we really want "A". There's so many things that we do settle for,
for the mere fact that we can't control the situation, but sometimes
the situation demands us to take control, for us not to settle.
Sometimes we have to see past the here and now to the, there and later.
We have to look with better eyes than we have before, perhaps with eyes
that no one else possesses. It's not as easy is it sounds and even when
you say it doesn't actually sound to easy either.

Living in this world is one of the most difficult and challenging
things that we have to take on, but it's also one of the most rewarding
no matter what you do as long as your doing something. I don't think we
take that to heart a lot of times because we're always told what we
should want out of life, but that's what other people want out of life.
You're faced with a situation where you have voices overlapping,
constantly chattering, never ending, never beginning just there telling
you what you should do and what you shouldn't do. It gets to be so much
that it becomes a force in your life and when that happens you are the
puppet personified.

You do look up, down, side to side or move back or forward without the
permission of this force. Sad thing is that you don't even know it's
happening. I'll tell you how it's happening; you look for those little
tidbits of acknowledgement or approval from your friends and family.
You let their comments and suggestions guide your actions. There is
such a thing as having them help you, but ultimately the decision is
yours and there comes a time when you have to decide who are you doing
this for you or someone else. Funny thing is that when you try to break
those bonds, the puppet strings it's like you've committed the greatest
sin in the world. You're actually trying to think for yourself. It
happens to all of us at one point or another; the attempt to assert
your voice; the attempt to become a true free thinker in a world of
pseudo independent thinkers.

Of course that's an oxymoron in on itself, world of independent
thinkers, not in words, but concept. While encouraged and treasured it
is also frowned upon and squashed. The things we can think freely upon
are already determined by the time we are able to form a true thought
that is free standing and worth contemplation. The world is full laws,
theories, hypothesizes and most of all set standards consecrated by the
social institutions of the day. They determine what's right and wrong
and for the whole. They determine what's worth the independent
thinkers' quandaries and what's to remain status quo.

We all have our own thoughts about this or that, but how many times
have we voiced them within our circle of friends and found ourselves
constantly or at least once or twice on the opposing side of the
majority? Why is this? Is it wrong? Is it right or are you incredibly
stubborn? Can't say only you can? It's about how it makes us feel and
the logic we've used to get there. How can we back it up? How does it
come into practice? Something had to lead you to this train of thought,
but many times we allow to be systematically deconstructed in pursuit
of keeping the peace or maintaining our relationships no matter what
they are.

I guess it comes down to a matter of not right or wrong, but more along
the lines of where will you find yourself if you let go of what you
want and feel. You want people to understand you, but it's not
something that will always happen. We weren't put on the earth to
understand each other completely, but at least have some type of
understanding of where the other person is coming from. To understand
each other completely we would need to be the other person. That's not
what life is about, at least I don't think so. There's so much to see
and do in this world and to tell you the truth I have a hard time
understanding myself at times let alone someone else. We all have
reasons for doing the things we do and wanting what we want, but how
bad do you want it? That's what it comes down to. Is it really that
important and how will it effect your life. Think more of the things
that have some importance not the trivial things. They come and go. We
can't always settle, but we can't always get what we want, but
somewhere there's a medium where we can settle sometimes, but also get
what we want other times.

At most this has been another one of my ramblings that probably has
stray tangents here and there that probably deserve moments of their
own, but sometimes streaming out the ideas into the thoughts then words
helps put it all in perspective. Gives you an idea of where I'm coming
from. Not saying that you have to like it or agree with it, but give it
a little thought that's all. That's all anyone can ask. Hear me out and
then make up your own mind, create your own opinion.