Being Funny

“Time for a break. Wanna a cuppa tea, Liam?”

“Is the pope a catholic?”

Rob went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Liam had been drifting for a few years but was now a mature student at university. He seemed to enjoy the studies but hadn’t made that many friends.

Rob saw him once or twice a week for a few pints of lagers while watching the football on TV. At the end of the evening at the pub, Rob always sensed that Liam didn’t want the night to end. Maybe it was going back to his bedsit room…being alone.

“Wanna rolly?” asked Liam.

“Nah, I’m alright – got my own.”

Rob never accepted his offer of a rolly as he was always accused of putting too much tobacco in the ciggie paper.

“That’d do me for the rest of the day,” said Liam once with a pained and slightly annoyed expression on his face.

Work, break, tea, fag, work, grub, tea, fag, work. It was always that order. A few weeks earlier, Rob gave Liam a lift home to his bedsit. They had sat down and discussed the rate of pay for the odd-jobs around Rob’s house.

“How much do you want, Liam?”

“Dunno.”

“Three quid an hour?”

Liam looked up from his paper.

“Four quid?”

“Yeah…OK…anything you like, Rob…tea and lunch too?.”

“Sure.”

A few days passed.

After tea and a fag they worked together patching a holed and uneven wall. Rob went out and bought pie and chips. After they had eaten, Rob got up from the table and went back to the wall.

“Ain’t you forgotten something?”

“What? said Rob

“Nice cuppa rosy would go down a treat.”

“I’m alright…come on I want to finish this before the wife gets home.”

“Lunch without a cuppa tea…you must be joking!”

“I forgot to get some milk.”

Silence.

“I’ll get it then, eh…”

After Liam returned with the milk he made the teas instead of Rob.

An hour passed.

“Cuppa tea, Liam?”

“Good job I got the milk, eh?”

“Yeah…amazing…”

“Are you trying to be funny? You’re being a bit funny with me… having to get the milk…I’m doing you a favour.”

“Yeah…all right.”, replied Rob

“Yeah, all right? What do you think I am…some sort of mug? You said TEA and LUNCH…and that means I get the milk, eh?”

“Not really,” said Rob rather quietly. “You wanna lift home?”

“No.”

They continued to work but there was no banter now.

“Shall I come tomorrow?” enquired Liam after some time.

“Nah…I’ve got a few things to do.”

“Suit yourself.”

“I wasn’t being funny, Liam.”

“Yes, you were….”