Bacchus, the God of BEVVY

See that Bacchus? Well, he wis the God of Bevvy. Folk used tae hink
if ye goat bevvied, Bacchus wid reveal his sel' tae ye in yer boady, an
by yer actions, he wid speak.

Aw, Ah'm no sure, like. Mebby hings wis different in they days. If he
diz exist, Ah hink he's a total spaz.

How, like?

Cos. Aw he daes is get pished an' shout "Yezza fung bazzas" an' look
for fights in kebab shoaps. Ah hate ma Faither for callin' eez Bacchus.
Wi a name like that, Ah'm jist goannay huff tae get pished aw ma
life..