A Scot Minds O' The Monkees

He lookt like thi guy oot the Monkees. Himwi thi hat. Aye, 'sept it
wis yellay, no blue. Peter Torc wiseez name; bein' a Monkee wiseez
game. He eyewis goat thi funniest loox frum evrywunny met.

When Ah wis wee, Ah eyewis thought Ah'd seethum one day, walkin'doon
ma street. Ah eyewis lookt oot furthum, but Ah never seenthum. Ah
thought it wis cuz we lived oan a circle.

Then, at the age o' twenty-eight, Ah saw thum. Thi real yins.

Ah wis doon visitin' Maire, ma sister in Londin, an Ah swearty God Ah
seenthum wi ma ain eyes. Comin' ootay a hotel. Ah hink Ah wiz visibly
shockt cos this guy sez are ye OK mate. Aye, Ah sez, Aye. An Ah astim
wiz that they Monkees.

He sez it wisny, but Ah'll swearty ma dyin' day : it wis thaim.