Going without natural light

You can survive
without being happy only
if you've never known it, to miss:
one who'd lived all their lives
senseless in side a cage
would not feel trapped
by their own flesh
as I do, now, thinking of you.

Hope is the fretting for joy's return
the candle light that
blinds you to dispair,
keeps you up
when you could be sleeping
forever.

I read
of a farmer who factory reared pigs
saiying they preferred artificial light,
that seeing the sky
disturbed them.

And I thought:
were they "disturbed" realising
there was more to life
than being meat?
Even if they couldn't know
how big outside was,
that it might not be as safe
as what they thought
they knew in concrete walls, safe
somehow now was not enough.

And I long for something
I don't know. You ask
what I have done today,
will do tomorrow?
And I say " Nothing and
nothing, unless something odd happens."
and I think of pigs
flying
through windows in concrete walls