You level up in my heart

Allow me to draw you a scene, the setting is a video game store circa 2006. Game-stop’s were busy buying out all the completion, yet here this store still had the sign above read Electronics Boutique. The Xbox 360 was still new and the PlayStation 3 and Nintendo Wii still weren't out yet. It was a glorious time for Nerds everywhere, it was right before it became “Cool” to be a nerd. The common High School Nerd was just beginning to become accepted and Nerds were finding others like themselves creating wonderful groups, hell World of War Craft was still considered playable. It was a glorious time for all hardcore gamers.

This Electronics Boutique was like most video game stores at the time, in a mall. Now here we meet Kathrine, a young girl working so she can save up money for a car, she knows the video game field and unlike the soon to be fake video game girls, she actually understood gaming even to a point of being a PC gamer who built her own computer just to play World of Warcraft, and like everyone wishes they could say, she did play World of Warcraft before it was cool. She has a nice goth nerdy vibe, and not even knowing how beautiful she truly was yet.

Enter in Kyle stage right, a chubby nerdy guy, sporting some geek swag (The narrator was quickly punched for uttering such words, we apologize for the interruption and anyone caught saying “Nerd Swag” will be shot on site. You've been warned Narrator) Damn, sorry. Alright where was I, oh yes.

Kyle entered the room wearing, a pair of trip pants and a T-Shirt that read GTFO. (Much better) Thanks. He walks in and the two lock eyes, a shiver runs down his spine and he runs to the back wall, scared as hell of the beautiful woman in front of him. He goes about his business looking for a good PS2 game.

She doesn't let him get away that easy, she obviously doesn't know how scared he is to say anything to her. She grabs a few games from behind the counter to go put on the shelves. He goes on minding his own business, his anxiety keeps him from talking to people so he is used to just browsing games for a while and never asking for help.

He turns around to go to another section and there she is right in front of him.

“I love your shirt.” She says to him.

He is caught completely off guard by this, he isn't even used to talking to women, he has no idea how to act, he is usually horrible in these types of situations, at least that is what he told himself. But something within him knew that he needed to talk to this girl, she was something different, and he needed to say something. “T-t-thanks.” he uttered, he tries to smile, he is so awkward about it.

“My name is Kat. You and I should be friends.” she says extending her hand for a hand shake.

“What? Oh yeah, I'm Kyle.” He says extending his hand. The young fool is practically in love already. Like a bad Shakespeare joke on how quickly teenagers fall in love. Luckily that is not going to be this story, no double suicide, well I won't make any promises, at least there are no rival families or anything, someone might bite their thumb at someone else, but that’s only because that insult is hilarious.

“What game are you getting?” She says as she starts to put some games on the shelves.

“I don't know yet, I was just browsing.”
“Him lets see, are you actually a gamer, or just a fake nerd?”

“Bitch please, I'm the best gamer you've ever seen.” Man it would have been cool if he actually said that.

“Real Nerd of course.” He says. He pinches himself to make sure this is all real. He is really nervous.

“Prove it, first video game system.”

“Atari 2600.”

“Oh, damn, alright. Favorite character.”

“Sonic the hedgehog. Been crazy about video games since the Genesis days. Also the only time I still have memories from, though my very first memory is playing Tetris and Pole Position on the Atari.”

“Alright, lets see, PC gamer or Console.”

“Console gamer.”

“Damn, gonna have to take points off for that.” She says as she starts laughing.

“Shut it, I bet you play World of Warcraft.”

“I do.”

“Lame. Girls who play World of Warcraft and such I wouldn't fuck with the Torch of Gondor.”

“You stole that line from Clerks 2.”

“Iloveyou.” he quickly says under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. Say you seem like a female who actually knows a thing or two about video games. What game should I get.”

“Good save.”

“Thanks. So what would you suggest, and if you say WoW, I'm leaving.”

“Fine, how about God of War?” She grabs a copy of the game off the shelf and hands it to him.

He grabs it. “Actually this was on my list of potential games to get today, that’s both shocking and awesome thanks.

The rest of the summer he would spend going to the Mall just so he could get the chance of running into her. They start talking online and having a great time together. Every time he saw her he tried so hard to gain the courage to ask her out. But by the time he got the courage, it was too late, she was in a relationship, and before the summer was over, she was going to move to Georgia, he had no idea. He wouldn't see her again for another two years. He thought about her all the time, every now and then he would send her a message, but he always felt like he was being to creepy, he wouldn't find out for years later that she didn't find him creepy.

He continued his life. One day he heard a friend of his was going to be in a fight. As this was the apparently the most important thing going on at the time, he went. He didn't expect much from this night, as he figured the best thing that could happen was he would get to see a fight, and if he was lucky get into a fight. But upon arrival he gets out of the car only to here Kathrine come out of nowhere and scream “KYLE!” and as quickly as he could look over she had pounced into the air and was now clinging to him.

“Kathrine!?!?” He said shocked to see her. It had been almost two years since they last saw each other. Their friendship rekindled quickly. He was so happy to see her. Later that night, as all men do when they are young and naive, he bragged to his friends about how he was going to get with her, and how it didn't matter if she had a boyfriend or not. Of course this was all foolish nonsense.

He went home that night, ran right to facebook to see her profile. He thought about how great it would be, now he could finally build up the courage and ask her out. As he gets to her page he clicks on the about section to see who she is in a relationship with. And there it was, it was a good friend of his from boy scouts. He ragged out throwing things around the room.

See Kyle always saw himself as a nice guy, but to try and steal his friends girl from behind him, he was no where near ready to deal with that.

In a few weeks they broke up, and Kyle was talking to Kathrine again, this time more than usual. But he had to meet with his friend before he could make a move on her, he had a code he must live by, a code he wrote himself. If he was to ask her out now, he would need his friends permission as Kyle hated dealing with bullshit drama.

Kyle finally got to talk to his friend one day. His friend sent him on his way with his blessing. Kyle gained new strength, and went to hang out with her the next night. That night he learned that she was in a new relationship. Kyle held his tongue he was too scared to make his move. He should have, and too this day remains one of his only regrets.

A month later out of the blue Kathrine called Kyle and asked for a favor, she needed his help as he was 21 to sign into a hotel for her and her boyfriend. Kyle's heart split in two. He was hurt and extremely wounded, that night his body would let him know that it was not happy with what he was doing and took his appendix away from him, he drove himself to the E.R. Only two hours after he signed in for her.

He did the only thing he knew to do about this, he wrote, and he wrote a lot. He was hurt and sad and needed something new in his life, but this time of his life was only going to get darker and darker and it was the only the beginning of his downfall.

For the next two years he would sit around and do nothing but become more depressed and just keep getting high to dull the pain. Soon enough he felt nothing, or at least he thought he did. The world he knew was going to change completely and would fall to the way side.

In January 2011, Kyle applied for College. He had spent years doing nothing in his home town and needed a change of scenery. His depression, and anxiety had reached new heights. He was falling faster and harder than he ever had. He had also just began a slow process of trying to find the right medication to help with his mental issues. Considering his mental issues are Depression, anxiety, and ADD, it probably wasn't good that the first doctor he went to labeled him Bipolar and was giving him the wrong medication.

On one of his many late nights she messaged him as she was the only else awake at six in the morning. She thought that they should hang out. He was terrified of this, the last time he saw her, he lost his appendix, and he knew he would just build feelings for her again. He did the only thing he knew to do, he grabbed a coin. He decided he'd let fate decide his future. The coin landing on heads three times in a row meant he was to go see her.

They talked, and had a great time together, they usually did. She was still in that relationship, but he could tell that it was ending soon, she didn't even have to say anything about it.

They talked again, but now they were talking every day. He showed her the story he wrote for her, she was shocked to find out he had feelings for her. She told him he should have said something years ago. He explained how he was so scared of her. She found it charming. They got really close.

One day she broke up with her boyfriend. He was there that night to console her. For the next two weeks he would spend holding her as she cried and making sure she was ok. So many nights he left sleepless because she had fallen asleep with her head on his leg and he didn't want to wake her.

He asked her out eventually, it was about damn time too. They had a wonderful night together they talked and hung out, she made him fill out an application to date her. It was a joke that she thought was funny because she was really drunk. By the end of the night she was trashed. He drove her home. By they got there she was almost asleep already. He wasn't about to take advantage of her. They cuddled that night, and he had the biggest smile in the whole universe that night.

See during the night at one point she threw him against the car and kissed him, she claimed she wanted to since she first broke up with her boyfriend, but couldn't. Although they were adults it was still so much fun to just have a date where they just made out in a car like they were High School students.

A few nights later they had a night so amazing, that it would forever be implanted into Kyle's head. It was a night of passion so rare and so exquisite that it only comes maybe once or twice in an entire lifetime, some never experience anything close to it.

Kyle was so happy and was prepared and hoped that everything he ever wanted was just around the corner.

She chose someone else.

Crushed and destroyed Kyle didn't know what to do. What did he do wrong? He broke more than ever before, he broke so badly. He ran away to College. He tried his best to just forget what happened and move on. It was impossible for him. It didn't help that he still talked to her all the time. He kept writing and told the tale of what happened to him. He wrote a ten minute play for his class that got chosen to be preformed at the school. It told a tale of just how much he loved Kat and a metaphor for how she left his life so broken. He asked her to come to the play. She never showed up.
Kyle was hurt. He didn't talk to her again for months. He was pissed at her, she had hurt every fiber of his being. He thought that it was finally the end of their story together. He never wanted to see her again.

On her birthday he stupidly said something to her, he had to. He noticed how sad she was after a poem she wrote and posted online. He felt so bad for leaving her.

She came down to his school to talk to him. She explained how she was so sorry for what she did and how she needed him in her life. He had become such a close friend in her life and how she wasn't doing well. She suffered from similar mental disorders, so he knew exactly what she was going through. As always he cared far too much for her, and decided he wouldn't keep hiding himself from her.

But unfortunately she would play with his heart again this summer as she had the year before. By the time she banished that summer however Kyle wouldn't know what to do, he got scared, sold his car, and ran away to live in a friends house. He couldn't go back home, he ran away from his life and couldn't go back. Every time he tried to go back home he could only make it three days before he ran away again. It was tough for him.

He now spends his days dreaming of the girl he once met, in that life he once knew, and what could have been. He pushes forward to new and exciting days. Though he knew he would never love like he loved her ever again.