Emmy's obsession

Emmy's obsession

My Bedroom 10:31am

VO Emmy: Have you ever had a crush on someone so bad it hurts? And
done
everything in your power to be near them, even if it means making a
total
Pratt out of yourself? If not, believe me, you will.

This is my room - lovely isn't it! Notice the collection of books
towering
cautiously next to the mouldy green mug filled with last week's coffee.
Or,
how about the vase of rotting flowers next to my junk food ridden bed,
that
no longer have that fresh flower smell. What I'm proud of though, is
the
fact that you can't see the floor - who needs rugs and carpets when
you
have clothes? Welcome to my world. My days are long and unpleasant
with
boring bits thrown in to add to my torture.

Lecture room 11am

VO Emmy: That's me sat at the back of the class. I'm the one that's
falling
asleep mid-doodle. I find 18th century history fascinating.

GWEN: I'm sick of this shit - let's go.

EMMY: Gwen, we just got here.

GWEN: But I'm bored already and I forgot I said I'd meet Jim

EMMY: Well, you've had it now. There is no way Gibson's gonna let you
cut.

GWEN: Oh screw this!

EMMY: Why did you bother coming to class anyway?

GWEN: I don't know?!

VO Emmy: That's Gwen, my best mate. We've known each other
since?well,
since fresher's week three months ago, but it seems like a lifetime. We
met
by some freak coincidence?

The Quad 3 months ago

VO Emmy: I was sat in the quad, having a well-deserved cancer stick,
when
Gwen walks up to me,

GWEN: Have you got a spare ciggy?

VO Emmy: And from that one question, a beautiful friendship
blossomed?

Lecture room 12pm

EMMY: Well, my mind feels like it's expanded

GWEN: I gotta split - I'll see you later okay?

EMMY: Okay

GWEN: Adios chica

The canteen 12:15pm

VO Emmy: Why is it, when you want something you can't have it's paraded
in
front of you all the time? Example: you're on a diet and have decided
to
give up chocolate in a moment of insanity. You put the TV on and all of
a
sudden your favourite programme (in my case Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
has
been replaced by an hours worth of tempting chocolate adverts.

Enter the object of my insanity. Out of every male in this
college,
including my bud Will, I chose him. I'm talking the ratio being 2 guys
to
every gal. Will says it's sod's law. Gwen says every female has a crush
on
Tyler - even she. My brain says I'll grow out of it, but my heart says
I
won't; for I fear I Emmy Hewitt have fallen for the guy with the
girlfriend.

If you haven't already noticed, I'm stuck in phase two of my crush -
the
obsession.

Obsession is a form of life, it's so huge it spins you upside down
and
messes everything up; it's an integral part of a crush that everyone
has to
deal with. I just wish that I didn't 'cause I feel so pathetic. I've
lost
all control of not making myself act and look stupid. Ooh, I'm
vibrating!

EMMY: Hey Will, have you been playing with my phone again? Huh,
very
funny?there is no way I'm calling you that?NO! What d'you want? I
finish
class at six. Okay?No? Urgh!

VO Emmy: Like I said, my days are long and unpleasant, but luckily for
you
I can give you the 411. I was officially late for computer studies and
got
a warning from my lecturer - third one this week. I then rushed to the
caf?
for a very, very quick drink of coffee and bite of a croissant before
I
rushed to my next class (English Lit), which I was also late for. I'm
now
on my way to meet Will in our 1980's inspired student union -
ugh!

Student Union 6:07pm

EMMY: Hey Will

WILL: Emmy baby, looking very stressed out?

EMMY: Tired actually

WILL: Tired, yeh?so, d'you fancy going to club inferno tonight?

EMMY: Not really

VO Emmy: Now, I feel this is the best time to explain to you that when
you
say 'not really' when you're in the middle of an obsession, it
usually
means 'hell yeh! A flock of killer wasps couldn't stop me.' Did I just
say
flock? Bugger it! I meant to say swarm.

Club Inferno 11pm

EMMY: HEY GWEN!

GWEN: I thought you weren't coming tonight?

EMMY: What can I say? I'm weak!

VO Emmy: And oh gorgeous one himself is out tonight and if there is
the
slightest possibility of seeing him, you really don't think I'm going
to
sit at home and do my work, do you?

EMMY: I'm gonna go get a drink.

VO Emmy: And scour the club for Tyler, see if the He-God has
landed.

EMMY: Hey Jimmy can have my usual?

JIMMY: One Vodka Martini coming up

VO Emmy: Do I have a sign on my breasts that says 'Hit on me, I'm
easy!'? I
really don't understand people who only go to nightclubs on the
pull,
'cause it usually isn't gonna happen. This is called sod's law.
Another
example in case you didn't get it the first time is when you attract
half
the geeks and egotistical chauvinist pigs in the club, when the guy
you
want to pull doesn't even give you the time of day. Urgh!!!

BLOKE: Hi

EMMY: Hey

BLOKE: What's your name?

EMMY: Cindy

BLOKE: So, Cindy, do you have a boyfriend?

EMMY: Yeh, she's called Sarah. Thanks Jimmy.

JIMMY: You're welcome.

BLOKE: So, you're a lesbian?

EMMY: Mmm.

BLOKE: Cool!

VO Emmy: If one more dodgy bloke tries it on with me one more time
I'm
gonna - There he is. Uh, he is so beautiful. Now Emmy, don't stare.
Don't
stare, don't stare, don't stare, don't stare - oh my god! He just
caught me
staring! Okay Earth, you can open up and swallow me now. It's at times
like
these that you need a sanctuary, a haven?

EMMY: Gwen, girl's toilets NOW!

Girl's toilets 11:45pm

GWEN: Did you see that guy in the yellow shirt dance? He so thought he
was
Ricky Martin. Huh! Like anyone would want to be HIM.

EMMY: Okay, now I don't need you to panic, as I have everything
under
control, well, actually I don't

GWEN: I mean his day is so over like John Travolta, Patrick
Swayze?

EMMY: But it really isn't as bad as it seems

GWEN: The bloody Agadoo with the stupid dancing pineapple

EMMY: Is it?

GWEN: Oh honey, the Agadoo isn't even cool in that nostalgic, remember
the
days way.

EMMY: Gwen! I'm on about my pathetic excuse of a life.

GWEN: Why? What's happened now?

EMMY: Tyler caught me drooling at him.

GWEN: Well, did you have your bib on?

EMMY: Gwen! This is serious!

GWEN: Well, look, have a few more drinks and then you'll be too drunk
to
remember what happened. Anyway, loads of girls stare at Tyler so
I'm
guessing he's used to it.

EMMY: Fine, lets hit the bar. Just keep me away from Tyler?

GWEN: I'll try!

My bedroom 3:27am

VO Emmy: I can never show my face in college, no scratch that, I can
never
leave the house EVER! What an incredibly embarrassing night. If I had
any
chance with Tyler (which I probably didn't have) I no longer have now.
I
have blown it big style. And where was Gwen when I was destroying my
life?
Off getting it together with Jimmy.

Well, this is what happened. Gwen and I danced most of the night away
until
she dumped me for Jimmy. On my own, I decided to take a wander around
the
club, mainly 'cause the dodgy bloke I told I was a lesbian kept
following
me around like a lap dog. I should have told him to meet me
somewhere
OUTSIDE the club so I could get rid of him. Anyway, because I thought I
was
being stalked, I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going
and
ended up bumping into?yep, Tyler. This is never a good thing, I knew
this
and yet I still couldn't bring myself to apologise and just walk
away.

Club Inferno 2 ? hours ago

EMMY: Oh, shit! I'm so?I wasn't really?see this guy was following me -
are
you alright?

TYLER: I'm fine

EMMY: Good. I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to walk into you like that
and
I'm sorry

TYLER: It's okay, I'm alright so you can stop apologising.

EMMY: Oh, right, sorry.

VO Emmy: Walk away, walk away, walk away, walk away, walk away?

EMMY: Can I get you another drink?

TYLER: No, it's fine

EMMY: Are you sure?

TYLER: Yes.

EMMY: Cause I'd be more than happy to get you another one

KELLY: He said no, so why don't you run along and bug somebody
else's
boyfriend?

EMMY: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to?um

My bedroom 3:52pm

VO Emmy: And that's when I eventually walked away. Okay it was more
like a
mad dash for the toilets before they could see how upset and humiliated
I
felt, but that's not important. Anyway, now you understand why leaving
the
house can never be an option for me, I was a complete gimp, a
total
moron?if I was cheese I'd be the strongest, smelliest, mouldiest
cheese
there ever is. That is how bad my situation is right now. I'm staying
in
bed, under the covers for the rest of my life.

The canteen 1:45pm

VO Emmy: Yes, I know I said I wasn't leaving my bed ever, but that was
last
night and this is today. It's a girl's prerogative to change her mind,
and
anyway, I feel it's time to move on?and kill Gwen. I blame her for all
of
this. Plus I want to find out what happened between her and
Jimmy!

GWEN: Hey kitty cat, Cava?

EMMY: You and Jimmy had better have got it together or else I swear, I
will
have you slaughtered.

GWEN: Yeah, we did.

EMMY: And?

GWEN: And? we're hooking up later tonight

EMMY: Good?

GWEN: Very good

EMMY: Good.

GWEN: You look like shit, what happened to you last night?

EMMY: Oh, you know me, acted like a dope for a while then decided to
treat
myself to some public humiliation, y'know, just for a change.

GWEN: Wicked.

VO Emmy: Gwen never asks for details, which I appreciate a lot, but
there
are sometimes when I actually want to share the details. This however
is
not one of them.

GWEN: I'm gonna have to jet: places to go, people to see. I'll catch
you
later?

VO Emmy: And she always has someone to see. Sometimes she'll tell me,
other
times I haven't got a clue. But if you ever need anything, you
can
guarantee that Gwen knows someone who can help you out.

EMMY: Sure

GWEN: Cool. Au revoir ma Cherrie

EMMY: See ya.

VO Emmy: Well, here I am again, sat all on my own looking like the
total
loser I am. Why is she smaning at me? Piss off you noisy old stuck
in
the 70's tramp. Okay, okay, think. Why would she be staring at me?
The
Knickers incident? No, that was well over a month ago now. THINK!
Don't
they know I can see them whispering about me? Oh shit! Someone's
coming
over. Act cool, be nonchalant, Emmy, you have nothing to fear.

GIRL: Hi. I just wanted to say that I think it's really cool that
you've
decided to be honest with yourself, and that you shouldn't care what
the
others might say. I'm just glad I'm not the only one.

EMMY: Thanks, but I'm afraid I've got to go.

VO Emmy: What the hell was she on about? Oh God! Can she read my
mind?

BLOKE (Shouts): Hey, rug muncher!

VO Emmy: Okay, either the world has gone crazy or I have. Will! Will
might
know.

EMMY: Hey Will, what's going off?

WILL: I have known you since we were kids, and yeh, I might not have
said
the right things but I thought you would have told me first instead of
some
idiot in a nightclub.

EMMY: Told you what?

WILL: That you're gay!

EMMY: Will, you know I like boys, hello? Tyler! Christ! I told some
Sleaze
bag of a slimy nature I was a lesbian to get rid of him.

WILL: So, it's not true?

EMMY: No! It's all fabrication.

WILL: Oh! Oh, well, y'know it wouldn't matter with me whether you are
or
not, I mean, if you ever want to experiment just call me?

EMMY: Thanks but NO!

My Bedroom 5:48pm

VO Emmy: I wonder if Tyler thinks I'm a lesbian. I don't think I look
like
one, but maybe other people see something different, maybe they think I
do
look like a lesbian. Do lesbians have a look? Urgh! I just want a
normal
teenage life, which includes a normal hunky boyfriend called Tyler.
What
did I do not to deserve him? Okay, the prank on Louise was pretty
harsh,
but not enough to decide I'm not allowed who I want, surely. Ugh! Must
stop
thinking about him!

My Bedroom 7:05pm

VO Emmy: Okay think about flowers, waterfalls, lazing in the sun?
with
Tyler - NO! No, no, no, no, NO! Maybe if I counted from 1000 to 1
backwards?nope, still thinking about Tyler. URGH! This is what I hate
about
having a crush, no longer being able to think about anything else but
the
person you fancy. It's hard to believe I know, but I used to be a
normal
person, who thought about things that didn't revolve around a
certain
member of the opposite sex. I used to do stuff because I wanted to,
not
because I knew Tyler was going to be there. I used to be my own person.
Now
I just feel like a pod person sent to observe every move and detail
about
an incredibly gorgeous specimen of a creature. Ugh! My coffee's gone
cold -
I hate that. Okay, I need to do something, before I lose it
totally.

EMMY: Hey Gwen, what you up to? Oh, right?no, it's okay, just
bored,
thought I'd call?alright then, yeah okay? See ya.

Hi, is Will there? Thanks?hello, is that Mr William Phillips? This
is
Nicola Crawford from Natwest calling about some cheques you've
recently
written?Will. WILL! Chill, it's Emmy?yeah right! That's why you
started
making excuses for your sorry ass?look, what you up to tonight? Fancy
a
game of pool? Wicked, see you in a bit.

The Pub 9:18pm

WILL: And you're serious? 'Cause it sounds like denial to me

EMMY: Of course I'm serious, from now on I am no longer a Tyler
obsessed
woman. I'm like that song 'Independent Woman'; I am my own
person.

WILL: So, if I told you Tyler had just entered the building, it
wouldn't
matter?

EMMY: The old Emmy would have crumbled and acted like a stupid sappy
dog,
but the new and current Emmy doesn't give a damn.

WILL: Good, cause he's coming over

EMMY: What now?

WILL: Mmm hmm

VO Emmy: Okay, act cool?you're over him. Well, not yet, but I've made
the
first step - I've admitted I have a problem. Now all I have to do is
try
and control myself from not saying and acting like a complete spaced
out
fool. Easy?not.

TYLER: Hey Will

WILL: Hi

TYLER: Is it alright if we have the table when you're done?

WILL: Yeah, sure. We shouldn't be too long.

TYLER: Cheers mate.

VO Emmy: Okay, what the HELL happened there? Doesn't he realise
I'M
breaking away from him, and NOT the other way around. How dare HE
ignore
ME? I'm meant to be the one with the power, I'm meant to be hurting
him,
I'm meant to be ignoring him. URGH!

WILL: Well, I'm impressed Emmy, you didn't make a fool of yourself
once,
unless you count staring at him with your mouth wide open?!

VO Emmy: Maybe becoming a lesbian isn't such a bad idea?

My Bedroom 12:17pm

VO Emmy: Welcome to Emmy Hewitt's guide to getting over a crush, which
also
includes the free pullout guide entitled Why it's great to be single.
Step
one - admit you have a terrible crush. Step two - Decide to no longer
be
the victim. Step three - Take control. Step Four - Out of sight, out
of
mind. I'm currently at step three, but I'm thinking step four sounds
much
more appealing. Maybe if I tell my parents that only they can help
my
mental state and stop my life from crumbling, that they would pay for
me to
go to Tahiti for a month or two? I guess it's worth a try.

My Bedroom 12:22pm

VO Emmy: Mum just laughed in my face. Like my well being is something
to
laugh about? Doesn't she realise that letting me stay here is
seriously
going to destroy me as a human being? Will I ever get to be an
independent
woman? No, not if my parents have anything to do with it. Ugh, life
sucks.

The library 2:42pm

VO Emmy: So, I've decided to take mind off things (You know who) and
do
some of my work in the lovely quiet atmosphere of the local library.
Oh,
no! That's not him his it? Bugger it! What's he doing here? Trying to
make
my life miserable? Well, fine! He can try, but if I don't look at him
and
do my work maybe I'll forget he's here?shit, he's coming over.

TYLER: Alright?

VO Emmy: What do I do? What do I do?

EMMY: Um, hi

VO Emmy: Damn, I really should have ignored him. Where is my
self-control
when I need it? And why is he ignoring me one minute and then talking
to me
another? I shouldn't care. I don't care. Oh, why do I care?

The Caf? 4:59pm

VO Emmy: Okay, so I've decided to write a list of pros and cons and
I'm
hoping the cons outweigh the pros so I have something to go on. I need
a
reason not to like him.

Pros: Very good-looking Cons: Has a girlfriend

I'm talking model looks Who's a total bitch

Very nice Ignores me a lot

Cool fashion sense Crap taste in music

Popular Was probably a bully as a kid

Cute smile

Cute dimples

Gorgeous eyes?

VO Emmy: And, that's all I can think of. Oh my god! I've just
realised
something. I'm shallow. I've fallen for a guy who I haven't really
spoken
to; I just love the way he looks. I am a bad person.

GWEN: Hey darling, sorry I'm late. Bumped into Gavin. What's
that?

VO Emmy: Okay, do I tell her or claim it's something
uninteresting?

EMMY: It's a list. I've decided to forget about Tyler.

GWEN: Yeah, right!

EMMY: Honest! I'm fed up with acting this crazy way; there's obviously
no
point.

GWEN: Bout bloody time, girl. So, what's the list got to do with
it?

EMMY: It's his pros and cons. I thought they might help me find
something
wrong with him.

GWEN: Cool idea - can I take a peek?

EMMY: No! I mean, yeah, just not now.

GWEN: Alright. So, me and Jimmy are an official couple now

EMMY: No way! Congrats my friend.

GWEN: Why, thank you.

EMMY: When did this happen?

GWEN: Yesterday, in his basement. It was so romantic.

EMMY: Well, at least one of our love life's going to plan.

VO Emmy: This always happens, you can guarantee just cause I'm having
a
miserable life, everybody else will be having a brilliant one. I mean,
I'm
happy for Gwen, but not THAT happy cause my life sucks, and I'm
busy
wallowing in a pool of self-pity.

GWEN: Don't worry babe, yours will sort it's self out sooner or
later.

EMMY: I'm starting to think never is the case

GWEN: And it's that positive attitude that's not gonna get you out of
this
funk.

EMMY: I know, I know.

My Bedroom 11:28pm

VO Emmy: Gwen's right, it's all about positive thinking. I really have
been
too pessimistic about this whole obsession thing. I have to look at it
as
growth, in some weird, bizarre third dimensional way it has made me
a
better person - how? I am yet to realise. But still, it makes me feel
like
the pain of rejection, humiliation and pure patheticness is worth
something. Wow! I feel taller! Or am I being abducted and my feet are
yet
to leave the ground? Oooh chicken chow mein!

Lecture room 2pm

VO Emmy: So, today is up there in my top 10 worst days of the year. I
feel
like somebody has yet again taken over my body, and have made me
realise
what a state my room is. This I already knew, but did they really have
to
make me tidy it? I am disgusted at myself for letting it get that bad
(I
might have created a new species of mould that can actually be taught
to
speak - it said bye to me this morning, I was so proud). Either that or
I'm
having a late teen break down. Anyway, I'm now stuck in class 'till
4pm
where I think I'm having a moment of clarity. Well, it actually started
at
eight this morning, but it's still with me. I think I might pass
out?

Nurse's office 2:17pm

VO Emmy: Well, it turns out my moment of clarity was actually a
badly
cooked piece of chicken I'd eaten last night. I thought it was wise not
to
tell the nurse that it was also three days old. But hey, it got me out
of
class! Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick again?

Nurse's office 2:22pm

NURSE: So remember, nothing to eat for 24hours, get some rest and
drink
plenty of water.

EMMY: Okay, thanks.

VO Emmy: And Emmy gets the rest of the day off - woo hoo! Ugh,
no,
excitement not good.

My Bedroom 9:03pm

VO Emmy: I can't believe it's just gone 9'o clock and I'm in bed. I
can't
believe I went to bed at quarter past seven! My tummy is feeling
really
tender, and is begging to be fed. If I don't feed it soon, I wouldn't
be
surprised if it killed me! Actually, no, that's wrong as I can't
be
surprised if I'm dead now, can I? Today's gone really crappy, with it
now
officially ranking numereo uno in my top ten worst days of the year.
And to
congratulate myself I'm feeding my depressed mood by refusing to get
out of
bed and forcing myself to listen to the music of emotions, my
sister's
Backstreet Boys CD. I haven't seen nor heard from my so-called friends
Gwen
and Will, but I did however happen to bump into Tyler in my chicken
puke
state - tres attractive! We were in the corridor and I really didn't
want
him to see me in my state so I turned around in a blind panic, just as
Mr
Allen the biology teacher burst open the staff room door and smacked
me
right in the face. Luckily, Tyler couldn't see my chicken puke face for
all
the blood that was flowing freely from my nose. Maybe my dad would be
more
reluctant to send me away to Tahiti?

My Bedroom 10:17pm

VO Emmy: Nope. Instead of money I got a lecture on being independent
and
the joy of earning my own money - yeah, right! I swear my parents
are
trying to destroy me!

My Bedroom 4:43pm

GWEN: Oh, Emmy sweetie, I'm sorry, but?it's? just so funny!

EMMY: Yeah, well, thanks for the comforting words - both my nose
and
stomach are okay now.

GWEN: Well, look at the plus side?

EMMY: I didn't think there was one

GWEN: Of course there is! Once Tyler's moved away the only people who
will
remember the incident are you, the nurse, Mr Allen, Jimmy and me. Oh!
And
Will.

EMMY: WHAT? Gwen! Why d'you tell - Hang on. Back up, 'once Tyler's
moved'?

GWEN: Yeah, to the States. Which you knew right, 'cause everyone knows
that
his dad got a promotion, which means the sexy one moving to New
Jersey?

EMMY: NO!!! When did you find out and WHY didn't you tell me
sooner?

GWEN: Couple of weeks and I thought you knew; why else would you
suddenly
decide to stop wasting your time on him and realise you had to get
over
him?

EMMY: Because I was fed up with being so pathetic all the time!

GWEN: Mmm, good reason. Anyway, I'm gonna have to boogie - meeting
Jimmy
for drinks.

EMMY: Are you being serious?

GWEN: Yeah, he's taking me to that new bar in town, Y'know the themed
one?

EMMY: I meant about Tyler

GWEN: Of course I am. They move next week.

VO Emmy: Oh my god! OH MY GOD! I am soon never going to see the love of
my
life ever again! Why did I let the whole having a girlfriend thing
bother
me anyway? Why didn't I just grab him and snog his face off? I'm
never
gonna get a chance now, URGH!

GWEN: He's holding a party tomorrow night, a kind of last goodbye.
Jimmy
got us tickets if you wanna go...?

My Bedroom 11:00am

VO Emmy: What am I going to wear? What am I going to wear? WHAT AM I
GOING
TO WEAR?

My Bedroom 11:13pm

VO Emmy: Okay, fine, so I have nothing in my wardrobe?Oh my god! I
have
NOTHING TO WEAR! Shopping. Must go shopping.

My Bedroom 4:45pm

VO Emmy: Whoa! I am so ready for bed. I have covered the entire city
-
twice- looking for the perfect outfit, and after 5 hours, I
eventually
found it. It cost me a fortune, but I guess that's the price you pay
to
transform yourself from normal geek to kind of gorgeous. I bought
this
black off the shoulder gypsy top, dark denim skirt and girlie shoes.
Now
all I need to do is have a shower, buff my shoulders, shave my legs,
shave
my arm pits, sleek down the birds nest that is my hair, put my make up
on,
get dressed and go out looking like a super model, all in 3 hours.
ARGH!!!

Outside my house 8:00pm

VO Emmy: I did it! I'm all ready. I am so proud of myself.

GWEN: Hey sassy chica, you have a ladder in your tights.

EMMY: Oh shit!

At the Party 8:22pm

EMMY: I think I need a drink.

GWEN: Mmm, me too. Jimmy honey, will you go get us a couple of drinks
of
the alcoholic variety?

JIMMY: Sure.

GWEN: So, what's the plan?

EMMY: What d'you mean?

GWEN: Well, we're at your crush's leaving party and you my friend
are
looking drop dead gorgeous. I recognise that war paint anywhere, you're
on
the pull!

VO Emmy: Uh-oh, she's on to me. Quick, divert, start a new
conversation?

EMMY: I'm planning on seducing Tyler, well, snogging him anyway.

GWEN: Regrets, never a good thing.

EMMY: I'm thinking, get drunk first and then go for the snog.

GWEN: While I'm keeping the other half busy!

VO Emmy: Oh, god! I've told her, and she's planning which means there
is no
going back. Why didn't I keep my big fat gob shut? I know! I'll go for
a
walk, see who's here and maybe she'll cop off with Jimmy and forget
all
about it.

EMMY: I'm gonna go see who's here.

GWEN: Alright babe.

VO Emmy: I'm walking round the room and I don't recognise anybody.
Well, I
do but they're people I can't be bothered with - too much of a hassle
to
talk to, you know? Maybe I should go and say something to Tyler. There
he
is, yeah; maybe now I should make my move, get it over with. He is
looking
- HELLO! WHO are YOU? Look away, look away?damn, he caught you looking.
Get
out! Quick hit the bar.

EMMY: Can I have a vodka martini please? Thanks.

GUY: I think I can safely say I know about four people here.

VO Emmy: Oh. My. God. It's him. The guy who just caught me drooling.
God,
he's gorgeous!

EMMY: I think I can beat you there, I know about five.

BARMAN: That's ?2.20 please

EMMY: Thanks.

GUY: So, how d'you know Tyler?

EMMY: Kinda don't really. Friend of a friend.

VO Emmy: I used to fancy the pants off of him, sometimes I even
stalked
him.

EMMY: How 'bout you?

GUY: Lived next door to him for years, I'm Kieran.

EMMY: Hi Kieran, I'm Emmy.

KIERAN: Nice to meet you Emmy. I'd offer to buy you a drink but?

EMMY: Maybe some other time

VO Emmy: Am I flirting? I think I am, and is he flirting back?

GWEN: Emmy, we have to leave?NOW.

EMMY: Why? I'm busy talkin-

GWEN: EMMY!

My Bedroom 12:32am

VO Emmy: And before I could say anything else to the gorgeous Kieran
like
"Here's my number, call me" she was off dragging me outside. And for
what I
hear you ask? Gwen had just experienced her first fight with Jimmy,
and
couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. She can be such a drama
queen
sometimes!

Where I, on the other hand, am to die a lonely death as the love of my
life
doesn't have my number. Am I never to know love? No, I'm forever to
be
stuck with a crush and I HATE CRUSHES!!! Oh, Kieran?

My Bedroom 2:09am

VO Emmy: Must stop thinking about Kieran! Okay, rainforests, the
destruction of the O-Zone, Tony Blair, swimming with dolphins?and
Kieran -
No, no, no, no, NO!