Grave Mistake

What do I do
Do I leave do I stay
What can I do
The one I love is taken
The one I have I don't love

I am alone
I have no love no friends that understand
My love doesn't know
My boyfriend can't
It all comes down to this

To leave is to hurt the one I'm with
But if I stay I'll hurt him in the end
I don't trust myself
I can't trust others

My life is falling apart
My only stability is the one
Person that knows how much I hurt
She alone is the one I trust
She and the God I serve

I'm confused
My feelings are bunched up
Hitting me harder than anything I've ever felt before
I cannot hold on for too much longer

I turn on the radio
I hear songs
Music that once held joy
Now only hold tears for me

As I sit and write this
I hold a small bit of hope
I hold to the day when this will all be over
A day I fear may never come

I will never get over him
I fear I may never love the other
One way or the other this will not end happily
My head is jumbled with suicidal thoughts
My soul isn't strong enough to carry out

Those I'm close to don't understand
They haven't experienced the loss of love as I have
Murder,deciete,and death
Love,lust,like,and caring
Life is playing with my mind and clearly winning

This is the worst feeling in the world
And I can't take much more
Why me why now when things were starting to go so right
Two deaths one statement
One night two tragedies
The death of a loved one the death of a deep trust