The Welcome Man

I couldn't believe it happened. This was the first time in days that
I haven't overslept yet I was still going to be late. I had only been
with the organisation for a week, and I was keen to make a good
impression. This job sort of happened by sheer accident and I must
admit at first I was very hesitant to take the post, but I really
didn't have that many options. I managed to adapt very quickly, and the
others were really friendly; it's nice to be in an environment where
everyone wants to help out - the last place I had worked in had a
selfish undertone.

Walking down the corridor I turned right but the place didn't look
familiar. The name on the door said Rejects; it was funny because I
don't remember there being a department with that title. As I pondered
my surroundings an elderly gentlemen rushed past, nearly knocking me
over.
'Excuse me!' I shouted at him.
'Sorry can't stop am very busy! We are expecting four coach loads this
morning!'
'I know!' I seemed to mutter to no one.

Suddenly the door opened and a young lady with long black hair appeared
in the doorframe.
'Hello stranger, can I help you?'
She had lovely long legs, which were covered in black stockings. Her
body transfixed me; the hourglass figure hugged the black dress, which
flowed with the contours rippling down her stature.
'Um, I'm sorry to stare, but you must have the most perfect body I have
ever seen.
She let out a little giggle. 'Why thank you! We don't get your type
down here very often. I can tell you haven't been here that
long.'
'Only a few days really, I am still finding my way round.' I looked
into her eyes that were the dreamiest blue I have ever seen this woman
had a face of an angel.

'Sorry but could you direct me to bay 93, I have to be there in five
minutes.'
'Sure, go back down the corridor and take the lift to floor 10, then
turn right, go over the bridge and you should see bay 93 on your
left.'
I thanked her and smiled, I knew I had to leave but something rooted my
feet to the spot.
'Shouldn't you be going?'
'Yeah but before I go can I ask you something?'
'Shoot.'
She stared at me with her sweet face, not really sure what I was going
to ask her. I could feel her eyes invading me; the silence was killing
us so I forced the words from my mouth.
'Look; would you like to go out sometime?'
I watched her face crack; she made a small squeak that tumbled into a
laugh.
'I'd love to go out with you, why not, you seem really nice and I
haven't met many decent men for a while!'
I almost jumped in the air, but I want to be cool in front of
her.
'Ok, when and what time?'
'How about tonight. Come back here and meet me after work.'
I moved toward her and kissed her cheek, she continued to giggle. As I
turned to run she waved at me and blew me a kiss back - what a
result!

As I followed her directions I begin to panic. I remembered I have only
done this once before and am not really sure on the speech, so I go
over my notes one more time. Suddenly I crashed into another Welcome
Man, as we are known. We both tumbled to the floor along with our
notes.
'Sorry!' we both cried in unison.
We both collected the papers off the floor and I begin separating
mine.
'I see you are a Welcome Man as well! How long you been at the
job?'
I answered out of breath and in an irritated manner, which I don't mean
to pass onto him.
'Only a few days.'
'Ah a new boy eh? Don't worry son, it gets easier believe me. I've been
doing this for 20 years and there's nothing too it, just remember to
make them feel comfortable and answer any questions they have; remember
there will be lots of questions.'
It was good to meet someone who has the experience and could teach me
so much. In other circumstances I would have happily chat all day,
drunk in the knowledge and experience but I can't.

'See you have bay 93, well good luck!'
'Thanks!' I screamed as I ran into the distance to try and catch the
elevator. 10th floor is a long way down. I managed to get my foot in
before the door closes, which seemed to irritate the people already
waiting. Before the door closes I screamed at my colleague.
'Maybe we can meet another time?'
'Sure! I am normally in bay 12!'
The doors locked shut and the sudden lurch pushed the lift downwards. I
forgot how fast they were because within 10 seconds the doors were open
and the automatic voice was proclaiming what floor we were on.

I rushed over the bridge into bay 93 and quickly steadied my breath; I
don't want the newcomers to think I rushed getting here. I had to
remember that for the next hour it was about them. So I did some warm
up exercises and tried to relax every muscle in my body, I shook my
head and fixed my smile in place being careful not to look like a
demented Cheshire cat. The coach pulled in and it looked very busy. I
watched the people step off in single file, they reminded me of new
convicts arriving at prison; but I had to remember that this was all
new to them. I shuffled forward, waved, smiled and took another deep
breath.

'Hello and welcome! My name is Dan and I am here to make sure your
transition is as smooth as possible. Now it will seem a little
bewildering to begin with, but believe me things get better with time.
Now would you all like to follow me.'
I guided the group toward the double doors and waited until everyone
was gathered round.
'Now if you could put on your sunglasses which were given to you as you
boarded the coach.'
'Excuse me but I don't have one.'
This always happened, you always had to carry extra pairs in case of
emergency. I handed a pair to the young gentlemen. Sometimes you could
get a sense of how they arrived here, if it was sudden or slow. And it
was possible, if you looked deep into their soul, to work out if the
transition was painful or relatively pain free. I hadn't developed my
skills enough to read that well, I could just trace faint feelings or
places of pain.

It was a hazard of being a Welcome Man, it could drive you mad, and you
had to try and block those feelings out when dealing with newcomers. As
everyone put their sunglasses on, a happy feeling filled me to the
core, this was the bit I loved, it was serenity forever, they were
going to be content forever. I ushered the group forward, as I did the
doors whooshed open and the light was almost blinding that you couldn't
see a thing even with the glasses attached.

'Right a few things before we go in. Please stay in the group,
unfortunately the light sensor detector can create a few lost souls, so
stick nearby. It only lasts for a few seconds so please don't be
scared.' I smiled at them again, just to let them know that not to be
frightened. Newcomers rarely got frightened, the light sensors are very
powerful and do there job well, only one casualty in two thousand years
was good odds. I began my speech again.

'Welcome all of you! This is going to be an exciting time in your
afterlife. Heaven is free for you to roam, nowhere is off limits except
the boss's office. Please do not go and visit the boss unless he
requests a meeting with you. I am sure you can appreciate that he is
very busy. If you have any worries then please feel free to contact me
or any other Angel I think you'll find us all willing to help. So all
that is left for me to say is enjoy!'

As the door closed behind us I couldn't help but think about the loved
ones back on earth. Many people take different views when someone dies,
but if they knew what was waiting for them after they had passed away,
they would all be trying to get in! As long as people on Earth believed
in looking after one another, being kind to their fellow man, and being
a decent human being then I knew I would never be out of a job.

Copyright David Mackeeg 2003