Full-Frontal Teenage Lesbian Sex Orgy

'Full-Frontal Teenage Lesbian Sex Orgy' is the latest film by the renowned documentary filmmaker Spasmodic Weaselinversion. Famed amongst documentary film cognoscenti, Weaselinversion is the man behind such classics of the documentary genre as 'Grimsby Lamppost', his searing indictment of modern urban living where he filmed an ordinary lamppost in Grimsby for six hours without a single break or edit. 'At times the monotony of modern existence is almost palpable as you watch this film' a Guardian reviewer gushed. Of course, Weaselinversion is most famous for 'The Collectors' his 12-part BBC2 series about a multi-racial gang of streetwise inner-city stamp collectors, which won the coveted Middle-Class Liberal Guilt award in 2007.

However, many critics have seen his latest film, Full-Frontal Teenage Lesbian Sex Orgy as quite a departure from his previous work, featuring as it does a four-hour non-stop fully-explicit teenage lesbian sex orgy, sometimes in pin-sharp extreme close-up.

A reporter asked him - in an interview conducted recently - about his - to some - startling change of direction.

"Oh, I may win awards from the liberal establishment, the Guardian, Channel 4, the BBC and all that" he said. "But do you know what size audience I was getting for those 'worthy' documentaries?"

"No," the reporter replied.

"For the BBC series, 'The Collectors' despite it winning the Most Pretentious Documentary Award in the Earnest Expose category at the Guardian Awards, and all the other awards it won, it had a maximum of 17 viewers. According to audience research, seven of those switched channels part way through. In fact, though, it was those very audience research figures that I discovered the answer to my audience problem."

"Why was that?"

"Apparently they all turned over to watch some soft-focus 'Victorian lesbian romp' on channel 4. In fact, that programme had the highest rating for the whole month on ALL channels. That gave me the inspiration to start work on my latest film."

"But a porn film?"

"Yes. But, of course, like everyone else I know, I thought hard-core porn was just for those desperate and sad people who don't work in the arts or the media. But apparently my new film, 'Full-Frontal Teenage Lesbian Sex Orgy', is so popular the DVD company has had to open a new pressing plant just to meet the demand."

Finally, the reporter asked him if he was going to continue taking his work in this new direction.

"Yes, and not just because of the financial security it brings. My wife (the actress Essence Heartbambi), after her initial scepticism, has become very supportive of my new direction. In fact, she volunteered to research subjects for my next film exploring this fascinating area of explicit hot sex action. After several hours of in-depth research studying films, videos and DVDs, she has suggested that I next investigate the popular erotic film sub-genre of women partaking in what I believe are called 'gang-bangs' with men who possess very large penises. In fact, she is very keen to be much more involved in my work and has suggested - very strongly, ha, ha - that she would like very much to star in my next film on this particular subject matter. I think I'm going to have to agree, if only to get some peace and quiet, don't you, ha ha?"