Gasping for air

“Do you know what it’s like losing two weeks of you’re life?”
“Oh, stop exaggerating.” I turn to walk off but she pulls me back by my arm. Glaring into my pupils I read her distraught. The blemish of her heart seeps through the rays of her sight. Like bubbling volcano’s, soiling, threatening to erupt, she pleads with me; willing me to help. I shake my head, trying to throw her out of my thoughts. Her tug gets tighter and I can’t deny her presence. I lowly groan not wanting to get involved. “This is nothing to do with me!” she grips me harder, submerging in anguish and pain. She’s begging me to do something I can’t. She’s begging me to do something which is not within my power. She wants me to find two weeks of her life that seem to be nowhere; simply banished. Not remembering a single minute of it. She expects me to discover it. She expects me to recover 168 hours. Absolutely stranded, I long to put her out of her misery. But what can I do? What is there to say?

I face my head away from hers. Intensely exhaling, I sigh. I sigh for her. I sigh for me. I sigh for the world.

“I can’t!” Mumbling under my breath liquid starts to bubble behind my eyeballs. She leans into my body lightly, barely touching me, yet the friction from her breath with my check, heats up enough emotion to be stored in a glass bottle.
“Have faith in yourself.” A chilling shudder channels its way through me, from the top of my spine, ceasing at the soul of my feet. My knees give way, wobbling uncontrollably. I reach out to the side for support, unable to hold my own body’s weight. An icy sensation invades my limbs. I pursed my mouth to speak, attempting to free voice waves into the bitter air, but nothing is realised except vapour. Goose bumps rise on the deep shade of my skin. The wintry ambience causes figurative icicles to form above my chest. Every thought I have to say is trapped, frozen beneath the solidness of my skin. My body limbers to the side as I lightly wipe my hand beneath my eyes. clearing away the drops of empty emotion. “You have to.” She states my obligation as if it were the simplest thing in the world. She denies my pain, burdening me with her presence. Unknown fear lingers on the palate of my mouth and I feel bewildered, not knowing what on earth to do.

I wiggle my frosty fingers, freeing the tension in my hand. Tipping my body back over, barely strong enough to hold my weight, I blink. Once - - Twice - - and a final time. Hurling my body forward, I place one foot before the other. She doesn’t bar me this time. She doesn’t hold me back. I walk away from her (running in my head). A crucifying cramp punches a blow to my abdomen, but I don’t let it hinder my freedom. I don’t let her stun my escape.

Leaving the solitude park bench to go and join the crowd, I place both hands in both pockets, seeking some warmth. Bowing my head, I focus on the ground. Concealing my face from the swarm of people, so that they can’t see my soon to be, tear stained face.

I zig zag my way through the multitude of beings. How can time be lost amongst such an abundance of people? No one loses time. Time has no gap. Yet, she has managed to misplace days from her memory. Days from her existence. Impossible yet again. We think when we’re awake. We think when we sleep. How can two weeks worth of thinking dissolve into nothingness?

I stop in my steps and turn back to see her. exactly in the very same spot I left her in, she sits sinking into a whole of oblivion. With her back straight and her eyes wide open, she glares at me with sorrow, gasping for air. Behind her stare I feel her helplessness and give in to her plea. I willingly submit my soul to her. I agree to help her because I’m tied to her. From navel to cord. because she… is me!