Caroline

So, today was Tuesday - a Tuesday like any other.
The pasta-bake was in the oven, and its accompaniment - the bottle of
Tesco's Chianti - was in the fridge. Josh had been picked up and was in
his room playing his Playstation, and Simon had rung from the office to
tell her - well, that she needn't have bothered.

It wasn't an affair - Simon didn't have it in him. No, it was a lot
worse than that.
Simon wasn't coming home tonight because Simon was building a
robot.

Caroline didn't know why it grated her so, but as sure as God made
little apples, it did. Maybe because if a male wanted to build a robot
with his friends night after night, enthusing about it's utter
ingenuity, superior technology, and certainty of winning Robot Wars,
that was more than fine with her? just so long as they were 9 (Josh's
age)! Yes, what Caroline loathed was Simon's inability to act his age -
in other words, his inability to be a man. She couldn't remember last
when he'd taken her in his arms, fireman-lifted her to their bed, and
made passionate, animalistic love to her - it had been that long. In
fact, they hardly made love at all any more.

It hadn't always been like this. Simon had shown a great deal of
potential when they'd met - in and out of bed - but over the years, it
had waned. They had grown comfortable together - indeed, so comfortable
that it made Caroline feel altogether uncomfortable - And she felt an
uncontrollable urge to do something entirely out of character and
spontaneous as a result.

"Josh, darling - mummy needs to go to the supermarket and she needs you
to go with her." called Caroline, finding the sleeves to her coat.
Predictably there was no reply. Caroline sped up the stairs and
knocked. "Josh, darling - didn't you hear mummy?"
"Yes mummy, I heard."
"But you didn't answer." Again her words fell on deaf ears. She turned
the door-handle and let herself in, meeting Josh's young profile sadly
ruined by his tongue sticking out his mouth. His thumb and forefingers
permeating over the console at blistering speed. "Darling, press pause
or something so mummy can speak to you properly", she asserted. Josh
did so, and turned to face her - tongue replacing itself as if by
magic.

In the car, Josh was proving difficult. A barrage of questions sprung
from his inquisitive mind - mainly, why they were going to the
supermarket when they only ever went to the supermarket with daddy on
Saturday's, and more urgently, why they hadn't had tea yet.
"Because darling, mummy needs something from the supermarket for tea!"
she attempted - but it didn't seem to wash: it was an answer, but not
the right one. Eventually though, her disgruntled son reached into his
pocket for his Game boy and contented himself with that instead.
'Fine', she thought, 'even if his tongue is sticking out!'

At Tesco's she parked the car in the disabled bay, and twisted the
rear-view mirror to face her.

"Now Josh, remember what Mummy said?" Caroline began conveying, whilst
checking the make-up she'd applied earlier.

Josh had orders to be on his best behaviour, which if he managed meant
Caroline would give him the money to buy a new game at the weekend.
Caroline felt sure Josh would manage it!

Caroline touched-up her lipstick, a more-striking-than-usual red,
before giving herself one last pout in the mirror and the assurance she
looked good. Feeling confident, Caroline repositioned the rear-view
mirror - then got to work on her son; giving him the same visual
going-over as she'd just finished giving her face. Just as she was
attending to a smudge on her son's chin, though, her attention flitted
back to the mirror, as if she'd not fully comprehended what had been in
it, in the first place.

Caroline looked closer in it, before recognising fully what was there:
A little yellow car, with a little orange-jumpered driver leaning out
of their window, waving their fist and shouting abuse at someone or
another.
'How funny!' Caroline thought, 'That little person's really got the
hump with someone - but they're not afraid to tell them!'
Josh wiped away his mothers spit from his face.
Still amused, Caroline made sure she had everything before getting out
of the car.
Josh had done so already and was reading a sign.
"Mum!" Called Josh, rather urgently, upon her appearing.
She centrally-locked her medium-sized Mondeo, "What, dear?"
"You can't park here, you know."
"Of course I can, darling - it's a car-park for anyone who shops at
Tesco's."
"But-."
"But what, Sweetie? Mummy's not silly, she knows where to park the
car!"
"As ignorant to your son as you are to others, it seems."
"I beg your pardon", replied Caroline, turning round - though not at
all sure to whom exactly."
"I said," said the little orange-jumpered driver, "that you seem as
ignorant to your own son's needs as you are to others."
"And whom might you be to pass comment, may I ask?"
"Oh no-one special, just another disabled-person without a
space."
"Excuse me??"
"Mum, I did try to tell you."
"Yes, darling?" Caroline rectified, as it dawned on her she'd obviously
taken the poor lady's space. "Oh, dear", she uttered, "I do
apologise."
"And might well you do so," said the lady, "it's hard enough, you know?
without having to-."
Caroline felt herself stop listening and the ladies words begin to
tail-off."
"Of course. I really am sorry."
"Very well. Please move your car and we'll pretend it never
happened."
"Yes, yes? I'll move it at once... Josh?"
"Can I meet you at the magazines, Mummy?" Josh was standing with his
hands in his pockets, desperate to make his exit."
"Yes darling, why not. But no wandering off."
"Yes, Mummy."

In a couple of minutes Caroline was well out off the firing line. She'd
reversed her car out and allowed the little orange-jumpered lady what
was rightfully and by necessity hers, and had found a different space
to park in. But it wasn't over yet, as quite consciously Caroline had
parked her car and remained in it, in a space from which she could
watch the lady go about her painstaking business. To learn, probably.
She watched how first the little lady lifted out her folded-up
wheelchair, shuffled round in her seat, struggled a little to un-fold
it and put it's brake function in operation. Then as she took her time
to carefully slide her bottom onto it, slam her car door shut, and be
on her way.

Caroline had left her house earlier sure that something spontaneous
should come out of her day. Something that would shrug-off her bad mood
and the memory of her husband. But she hadn't had in mind that the
spontaneous act would in fact be what she was about to do: say sorry
properly to a little orange-jumpered disabled lady whose space she'd
thoughtlessly taken. She'd rather had in mind the possibility of
meeting a tall, dark handsome stranger! But this was what she must do
for the sake of her conscience - and she leapt from the car and
trotted-off in pursuit of the lady in the wheelchair.

"I just wanted to say", began Caroline just before Tesco's revolving
doors, "that I acted very selfishly back there - that these signs are
here to make sure people like me don't take the spaces that people like
you need for your life to be made easier - and that I ignored them
because, well? because I'm selfish and I shouldn't have done."

"Wow!", replied the lady, "you were in a hurry to let that out!"
Noticing Caroline very much out of breath. "But really, everything's
fine. Don't worry about it. I'm really used to that sort of thing by
now. I know you're sorry, but you don't have to be any longer."

"Yes, well?" Caroline felt herself sink back inside her shell once
more, her eyes surveying the lady's extraordinary wheelchair. She
smiled, "By the way, that's a lovely wheelchair you've got
there!"
"How funny of you to notice! Yeah, it's not a normal one as such - it's
my old one revamped by my inventor of a boyfriend."
"Inventor?"
"Yes, of sorts. He enjoys taking things apart and building them up
again. He'sjust a big kid, really - but he's very clever! This
wheelchair's better than most of those you can buy, and what's more
it's ever so comfortable!"
"Great!" But Caroline felt all of a sudden quite faint.
"Yes, he loves to make all sorts of things! In fact, I bet right now
Simon's at home making something with my kids. Oh, they do so love it
when he comes round!"