Craven Danger - True Detective

“Betty?” said Craven into the intercom.

Betty flipped the answer switch and paused.

“Ah, c’mon, Betty! You can’t stay mad at me for ever. This has gone on long enough. I’m doing the best a guy can do. And I promise not to blow another case again. That’s if we ever get another case to blow.”

Betty took her finger off the button and continued thumbing through her True Detective Magazine, July, 1947, and stopped at the page with the title:

Roy Bastion
Ace Detective
by Nathan Long

I entered the Waldorf Towers and took the elevator to the penthouse. Roy Bastion, Private Detective, read the sign on the door. I was on assignment for the magazine to interview the infamous detective with a heart of gold.

When I first entered Roy Bastion’s work place, it was all I could do not to get lost in the plush carpeting of the secretary’s office. The secretary, Morgana Givers, asked me to please remove my shoes. I did so and she handed me a pair of blue Persian slippers.

“Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable, Mr. Long,” she told me. “Mr. Bastion will see you in a moment. In the meantime can I fix you a martini and a plate of caviar?”

How she knew to spear three olives for my drink was a mystery. Also a mystery was how a secretary could afford the exquisite designer clothes she wore. And that intoxicating perfume of hers, mixed with the sensational martini running in my veins, had me floating on a cloud.

“Mr. Bastion will see you now,” she said.

It wasn’t until I entered the next office that I realized that Morgana was really the assistant to Roy Bastion’s personal secretary Louella Swanson.

“Betty?” said Craven over the intercom. “Can I come out now? You got me feelin’ like a kid being put in his naughty-boy chair at school. The only thing missing is the dunce hat. But to my credit, Betty, I only had to wear that hat this many times.”

Craven held up four fingers in front of the intercom. Then quickly pulled them away.

“I mean two times,” said Craven. “Betty?”

Betty continued with her reading.

After i received a foot rub from Louella’s personal masseuse, she grabbed her notebook and asked me to follow her.

“Mr. Bastion?” she said. “Mr. Nathan Long to see
you.”

“Thank you, Louella,” said Roy Bastion. “”Oh, and by the way, Louella. I happen to have two round-trip tickets to Hawaii I’m unable to use. Why don’t you get that girlfriend of yours and take the rest of the week off. Notes won’t be necessary today. Or ever. I just purchased a new tape recording machine. This will take the pressure off of you and give you more time to pamper yourself.”

“Gee, thanks, Mr. Bastion!” she said. “Oh, and before I forget, my mother wants to thank you for the new house. You shouldn’t have. But she’s glad you did.”

Mr. Bastion walked over to Louella and held her tenderly by the shoulders.

“I don’t ever want to lose you, Louella!” he said. “I’ll do anything humanly possible to ensure the comfort and well-being of you and yours, for as long as it takes and for the rest of my life!”

“Oh, Mr. Bastion!” said Louella.

“Betty?” said Craven over the intercom. “I think I forgot to put on my underpants this morning. These wool trousers are makin’ my crotch itch like crazy. Do I got an extra pair a skivvies in your file cabinet? Clean ones I mean?”

By the time Craven got to the words ‘file cabinet,‘ Betty was all ready out the door and making her way up the street to the local movie house.

Because nothing beats the doldrums better than Clark Gable and some good air conditioning.

“Betty?”