The Secret Drunk

T is for
The Secret Drunk
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I once saw Michael Caine playing an alcoholic with chilling accuracy.He
played it as a man intoxicated but trying to appear sober.That,s the
secret.Those people that an alcoholic comes into contact with rarely
suspect the person is drinking.It can be done.You can remain with a
buzz yet function very well and sometimes better.This story is a true
recollection as far as is possible of a week I spent working in a bank
but I was full of vodka each day.I still functioned well enough to
serve customers, balance the cash and drive home ready for getting
tanked up next day.On Monday I woke up early enough to start drinking.I
had half a bottle of Smirnoff and mixers.I had a shower a shit and a
shave.Poured another stiff drink and enjoyed the warmth as it slid down
my throat.I got dressed and poured some drink into a hip flask for
later.I then drove to the branch.I kept up the buzz with occasional
belts out of the flask.Not enough to get pissed .I had a high tolerance
level for alcohol so it was easy to appear sober.I got to the bank and
started work with a pleasant feeling of bonhomie.I had the advantage
and reassurance of a drink flask in my suit jacket and I would have one
more soon and then it would be dinner time when I went for a couple of
pints at the pub.In the afternoon I didn,t need another belt so I
worked out the shop where I would buy tomorrow,s bottle.If you go to
different shops they never suspect that you are an alkie.No problem.I
ended the day and balanced my cash to the exact penny.I had spent a day
happily chatting away to the customers and the staff who really
suspected nothing.There is no smell on the breath from vodka and a polo
mint made sure.If ever I flagged I had gone to the toilet and slugged a
drink of the icy voddy.Hey this was easy.I would do the same tomorrow.I
didn,t have a problem.I could stop any time I wished.So after leaving
the bank and driving home via the off-licence I reflected on a great
day.For a whole week I did the same routine.Believe me..it can be
done: