Sit Down Comedian

S is for
The Sit Down Comedian
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The young man stood behind the tobacco stained curtain
Petrified
And shit scared
With sweaty palms and a dry mouth
He heard the low rumble of the audience
And the click clack of the bingo balls
In the Muirkirk Miners Social Club
Saturday night
A panorama of the drunks
Fat stinking cheap aftershave men
And their low I.Q. wives fuelled on Hooches
Chicken in a basket entertainment
As they awaited the first act
Like Romans for the Christians
"Fuck this and fuck that" bounced off the walls
And the compere with the obvious syrup
Announces the lad
And to a spatter of applause he woobles on
His balls in his guts
His guts in his throat
And his heart in San Francisco
He grabbed the sticky mike
And his words dropped like ball beaings
Onto the tiny stage
Joke after joke
But no reaction
Until someone broke wind
Violently
The biggest laugh of the night
The kid cried inside but tensed his face
In the rictus of a smile
Time passed.....slowly
And to the sound of footsteps he staggered off
One more sad victim
For one more moronic crowd;