Mud Puddle Memory

The mud hole promised cool relief from the humid heat of a sunny
July day. Molly knew there would be no beach today. The car wasn't in
the driveway, and that meant Daddy was at work. "Let's go swimming!"
she coaxed her baby brother.

"Where?" Jimmy asked, willingly. He looked around expectantly.

"There." Molly pointed to the mud hole. She and Jimmy dug the little
pit the day before. The sandy earth felt cool between their fingers.
Molly's friend told her if you kept digging you'd get all the way to
China. They hadn't gotten very far when the thunder storm interrupted
them and drove them inside to safety.

Sometimes thunderstorms were a good thing although they were also scary
with the dark black clouds and the bright flashes of lightening. After
the sky lit up, the heavy booming thunder shook the little cottage.
Scared as she was Molly was fascinated with the fierce power of the
storms and would stand with her little nose pressed to the window pane,
watching the rain drill the ground like a bunch of arrows being shot by
the merry men in a Robin Hood movie. She hoped that this storm would
bring a cooling breeze from the ocean so that Mama wouldn't be so
cranky from the sticky humidity. This ended up being one of those
stinky storms that just seemed to make everyone feel hotter.

The ground was still damp and squishy under Molly's feet as she
sprinted to the mud hole. She was delighted to find her pail almost
filled with rainwater. The mud hole itself looked bigger, as if the
driving rain had tried to dig to China too. Jimmy squatted down beside
her. He couldn't run as fast because of that thick diaper he had to
wear. He still has accidents, Molly thought. He can't wear big boy
shorts because of the accidents.

"Pool?" Jimmy asked, his brows drawn together doubtfully.

"We gotta make it. Watch." Molly turned the pail of water over into the
hole, almost filling it. She stuck her foot into it. Ah, it felt
wonderful. Wiggling her toes, Molly closed her eyes and pretended she
was wading in the bay.

"Water goed away," Jimmy exclaimed, disappointed.

"That's okay," Molly assured him. "We'll get NEW water." The hose was
wrapped in coils but Molly knew how to pull it so that it would reach
the hole. She dragged it to the mud hole, and Jimmy clapped his hands
with glee. "Get in."

The mud hole was big enough to accommodate both of Jimmy's feet. Molly
turned the nozzle on, and the cold water hit Jimmy in the knees. He
squealed with delight as the water ran down his legs to fill the hole.
He began to jump up and down. Muddy water splashed up, spattering
Molly. She giggled at the sight of the big blotchy freckles appearing
all over her clean yellow sunsuit.

"More, more!" Jimmy crowed.

"Okay, but you gotta swim in it," Molly replied, aiming the nozzle at
the mud hole.

Jimmy looked at the hole and scowled thoughtfully. He could put both
his feet in but not his whole little body. He had an idea though. He
got out and waited for the water level to come near the top. "Watch
me!" He turned around, looking over his shoulder, and taking a step
back. His little tongue darted out between his teeth as he
concentrated. He plopped butt first into the mud hole, giggling.

Molly covered her mouth with her hand, her eyes popping. She couldn't
hold the giggles in, though, and they burst forth wildly. She knew Mama
wouldn't like this, though, so she dropped the hose and reached down to
pull Jimmy to his feet. He was stuck, his arms and legs jammed almost
straight up. Molly doubled over, laughing so hard her tummy ached.
Jimmy joined in, kicking his chubby little legs playfully.

The Wrath of God descended. Molly heard the expression many times
before but this was the first time she actually saw it happen. There
was a sharp pain on her ear that knocked her off balance. She fell to
the ground, ear flaming, her laughter already changing to sobs. She
looked up into the face of an enraged demon. It was so red, the face
was almost a purple color, the features twisted into such rage that
they were unrecognizable.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The words spewed forth like
red hot dragon fire, scorching Molly. She scrabbled backwards, trying
to get away but the Wrath of God was grabbing her by the arm and
dragging her to her feet.

"I'm sorry!" Molly bleated.

"Just look at the mess you made!"

Molly saw the hand swing back. She tried to duck but it was too late.
She landed flat on her back, screaming more from terror than pain.
Something wet and warm ran down from her nose. There was a salty, nasty
taste in her mouth that felt like snot from the back of her throat. She
spit and was frightened to see it come out red.

"Sh, sh, sh!" The Wrath of God had gone away, leaving Mama behind. Mama
was down on the ground beside Molly, putting her arms under the child
and lifting her. "Sh, stop screaming, for God's sake, shh!" Mama said
urgently. She hurried toward the cottage.

Molly dangled with her head down, watching little drops of red hit the
sidewalk. She could see Jimmy running awkwardly behind, sucking his
fingers. Molly wanted to tell him, don't do that, you'll get in
trouble, too. His diaper sagged from behind almost to his knees, and he
tripped. He didn't cry, though. He got up. "Molly okay?" he
called.

Molly thought Mama must have forgotten about Jimmy. She didn't seem to
notice whether he was there or not. Molly felt herself being placed on
the kitchen table. Mama tilted her head back. "Pinch your nose," Mama
was saying, turning to the sink and wetting a washcloth.

The child pinched her nose obediently wondering how the Wrath of God
hit her. It was a good thing Mama showed up in time to save her! She
saw Jimmy appear in the door, tears streaming down his face.

"Here," Mama said soothingly, pressing the cool cloth across Molly's
nose. "I'm so sorry, Molly. I didn't mean to do it. I was just so mad
because you both got so dirty. What made you do such a bad
thing?"

It wasn't the Wrath of God, Molly realized, stricken. It was Mama! She
looked up at her mother, her eyes widening with realization and
betrayal. "I-I don't know."

"Well, you know I had to do it because you were bad, don't you?"

Mama was looking at her very intently. Molly's mouth worked
convulsively. She knew she had to say something. She must have been
very bad or else Mama never would have hit her like that. Maybe she
broke a law. "Yes," the child murmured weakly.

Her mother leaned down close to her. "Don't tell your father, Molly.
Don't ever tell him." Mama's voice was low and strained. "Do you
promise me? Don't tell him - and I'll buy you a new doll."

"I won't," Molly gulped, and her mother sighed deeply and leaned back
against the sink. "It's a secret." She wanted Mama to love her again.
She would promise anything.

"That's my good girl, Molly," Mama whispered. "You'll be all right now,
won't you?"

"Yes," Molly whispered.

"Good girl." Mama turned toward the door and moved quickly to pick
Jimmy up. His face screwed up tightly. "Well, my little man, I guess
you need a bath."

Briskly, Mama carried Jimmy into the bathroom. Molly heard the water
running in the tub. Slowly, she sat up and dangled her legs over the
table. She looked at the bloody cloth in her hand and then felt her
nose and lip. There was an odd tingly feeling, as if she couldn't press
her lips together. She wiggled forward so that she could slide off the
table.

She tiptoed to the bathroom door and listened to Mama cooing with
Jimmy. He was being a good boy for a change, very quiet. Molly's eyes
filled with tears. She didn't really want the doll. She wanted her Mama
back. This mama wasn't quite the same, and that must mean that the
angry mama could come back again.

Molly left the bathroom and went into her bedroom, stripping the soiled
sunsuit off. She hesitated and then threw it in the waste basket. If
Mama didn't see it again then maybe the angry one wouldn't come back.
Molly put on a new jumper and sat down in her little rocking chair with
her Campbell's soup doll, humming a soft lullabye, waiting for Daddy to
come home. She wouldn't tell him what happened, oh no, never. It was
all her fault anyway. She was a bad girl.