In The Chipshop: The Three Assistants

In the Chipshop: The Three Assistants

I was travelling back from working on a backshift one night, and I was
feeling a bit peckish, so I stopped off in the local chipshop for
something hot to eat. When I went in the door, there was nobody behind
the counter, and there was hardly anything in the cabinet on top of the
counter where they keep all the cooked supper items hot, just a
battered bit of fish that was dry and tired looking and curling up at
the edges. I wasn't bothered that much, I was prepared to settle for
just a big bag of chips. So I coughed once, and these three assistants,
three teenage lassies, came out from the back of the shop. I told one
of them what I wanted, and one of them started to scoop the chips out
of the fryer onto the paper, when one of the other ones says:

Which one of us three dji thinks goat the nicest eyes?

Something came into my head, something I remembered, vaguely, about
something that had happened, maybe, a long year ago, and then the girl
who was scooping out the chips was saying that she would give me that
last bit of fish for nothing if I would say it was her. Quick as a
flash I lifted my hands, and waved them, saying, No, I don't know, I
only want the chips. They all laughed then, the lassie who was serving
me put some salt and vinegar on the chips, I paid and was out the door.
I mean, I'm a peace-loving sort of guy. I certainly don't want anything
I say to be starting any fights.

Although, it has to be said, the one who was serving me did have
particularly nice eyes...