Emperor's New Vogue, The

THE EMPEROR'S NEW VOGUE

How about this, sir?
It's the latest thing, sir!
Why it's all the rage, sir!
My, you look a clever one!
Here's a special offer, sir,
Come and take a look, sir,
Limited edition, sir,
Get it now before it's gone

Now how would you like, sir, this flash set of friends, sir,
The finest materials;
Fashion
Naivety
Why yes they look old, sir, but sir - worry not, sir,
I'm sure you'll grow into them - and plus they're low
maintenance!
Just now and again, sir, a party, a do, sir,
A present or two, sir - I swear nothing more

I'll throw in this dame, sir, to wrap round your arm, sir,
You'll look quite the part, sir;
Attractive
Attached
There's more to it still, sir, when you've had your fill, sir,
She'll say that she loves you - she'll sound so sincere, sir!
Repeat what she says, sir, to keep her in tow, sir,
I'm sorry but no, sir, there's no guarantee

I'll do myself wrong, sir, and offer you more, sir,
I'll toss in this gift set;
Elegant
Compact
Stylish black shades, sir, to hide you from truth, sir,
The latest in ear muffs to shield you from reason,
Rapier wit, sir, oh yes, it's quite blunt, sir,
But blunt's the new sharp, sir, mature is last month!

So come, will you buy, sir, why yes it's a deal, sir,
You've made the right choice, sir;
No risk!
No regrets!
I think you'll agree, sir, it's best I be off, sir,
(And thanks for the sale, sucker - thanks very much!)