N - Caligula Angers The Gods

CALIGULA ANGERS THE GODS

Jove's no more than a poser, a loser
Thunderer? Blunderer!
Is it any wonder that the Jews don't fear ye?

(And the clouds swelled and burst,)

Apollo - great flabberous punk, unfit
To swallow my spunk
The very thought makes me gag
Ugh! Your face is a cratered, cracked rock!

(And the sun blazed ruby red,)

Not forgetting my old lobster Neptune,
Rat of all that lies beyond the swell,
Ruler of the raging sewers!
Deformed and barnacled,
How much do you pay those mermaids to sleep with you, frog?

(And the waves rose in a spitting army,)

Mars! Impotent fool! Can't you conjure up more than a scuffle?
Where is the war? You're no man - you're a failure!
Useless bore - curse your small genitalia

(A rage seized men's stomachs. Their knees trembled.)

Ceres! You smugly claim the credit
for this civilisation? Forget it!
My ancestors built it, not you, ninny!
You're nothing but a whore on the corner of a street,
And Venus - you're as ugly as a beggar's sore feet!
The rest of you aren't even worth my mentioning!

Thus said, Caligula sacrificed to Envy,
So that others would not be jealous of him,
And left for the games with his head weighing heavy

Leaving the gods in various degrees of desperate, contorted ire
Then
One by one
They turned to Fear and made a deal
And sealed - no, sold - his fate
For some scraps of dignity