Death

In my dream its dark yet
the clouds are vibrant and alive with purples and greys, exploding with
fragments of orange. The orange flows and swishes inbetween the colours
like water. Its mystifying and independant. Some clouds are big and
some are so so small, they all move in the space as if looking for the
right place. They never find it, they never stop.
They don't need each other? Or do they not want each other? I can't
tell.
I am below, looking up, yet rising, higher and higher into the colour
and attraction. As high as I fly I never reach it, its always the same
distance. Too far. I feel frustration and wanting to attain it, to
breathe it and be apart of it, yet I'm being forced back. I can't reach
it, I should feel free and light but I don't. Tears swell up in my eyes
and my stomach explodes with need and despair. I know I never will get
there. I give up and sink back. I awake, I'm in bed and its time to
move. I can't though, I've just witnessed death, I was young, I had
things to do, I don't know how I know, I just do.
14th May 1986 -