BRIEF WINDOW

BRIEF WINDOW

It was a warm day and the young man driving into town was stopped by a
small traffic jam. He sighed at this minor frustration and wound down
his window.
Directly opposite him, facing in the other direction, another car had
stopped and the young woman driving it also wound down her window. They
were about two feet apart.
Their eyes met and locked on.
He smiled and said "hello"
She returned a nervous half smile. "Hello"
For what seemed like an age but was only a few seconds, they gazed
intently into each others eyes. Then the traffic started to move and he
murmured "bye-bye"
"Bye", she mouthed, and was gone.

It was late afternoon and the man was driving along the main road into
town. It had been a tiring trip and he'd be glad to get home.
Suddenly, he felt a great tiredness come over him that he knew, as an
experienced driver, could be dangerous. He pulled over into a
convenient lay-bye and stopped the engine.
'Must be overdoing it' he thought. 'Better shut my eyes for a few
minutes'
He closed his eyes and laid his head back against the head-rest. As he
did so, a feeling of immense sadness seemed to overwhelm him; almost a
depression. Yet he had nothing to be depressed about.
It occurred to him that the interior of the car was very warm and
pressed the automatic window opener.
The robotic hum of the motor seemed to take control of him, too, and
without wanting it to he felt his head move in synchronization with the
window, so that as the glass lowered itself into the body of the door
his head completed its turn to the right.
And there she was.
Parked along side him was another car with its driver's window open and
sitting at the wheel was a young woman. Nice looking but not
particularly pretty but with a sort of winsome smile. He returned the
smile.
Their eyes met and in that moment he knew her as he had never known
another woman.
"Hello" he said.
"Hello" Her lips formed the word but he couldn't hear it over the noise
of the traffic.
After what seemed an age but was only a few seconds, the traffic
started moving and he was on his way.
"Bye-bye" he said.
"Bye" she mouthed. And was gone.
The man pressed the button to close the window as the acid tears stung
his eyes and ran down his cheeks.
"Damn you" He yelled at the windscreen. "Who are you? Where are
you"?
After thirty years he thought he'd forgotten her but every once in a
while, without warning, she'd come back to him. The last time being
about five years ago. He never spoke to her, at least not properly; he
never knew her name.
He had a good life, a good marriage and was devoted to his children and
grandchildren but there was always that small, empty space deep inside
his chest that he knew would never be filled.
He wiped his eyes, blue his nose, took a few deep breaths and was ready
to restart his journey.
He started the engine and for a brief moment turned his head towards
the window.
"Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Whatever you are. You must know
that I will always love you"
He then put the car into gear and was gone.

The woman gazed adoringly down at the little bundle on her lap.
"Who's the most beautiful girl in the whole world"? She asked.
The man sitting opposite her chuckled.
"She takes after you, you know" he said.
"Well, in that case" she laughed, "I hope she has your brains"
She looked across at her husband and they exchanged air kisses.
She returned her gaze to the gurgling infant. "I think we'll get you
into a clean nappy before mummy comes to take you home"
At that moment her glance happened to alight on the blank television
screen. Except that suddenly it wasn't a T.V but a car window that was
starting to wind down. As she stared at the apparition she felt that
strange tingle at the back of her neck that could mean only one
thing.
'No, please no' She whispered inaudibly to herself. 'Please, not
now'.
"What is it? What's the matter"? Her husband's voice snapped her out of
her reverie. "You've gone as white as a sheet".
"Mm, what? Sorry, I was miles away. I must be very tired, it's been a
long day looking after little madam here. I shall be glad to get to
bed"
Yes, she did want to get to bed because she knew what was waiting for
her there. She knew from the tingle in her neck that one of those brief
moments was about to come upon her and that she needed to be alone to
relish the exquisite pain of the memory of those few precious seconds.
That one joyful instant in time when her soul caught fire. She also
knew that once it was over she would be left in despair; yet at the
same time relieved that it was over and may not happen again for
years.
She got through the rest of the evening in a dazed, almost drone-like
state. The baby's parents came to collect her; there was the usual
exchange of news. "Yes, we had a lovely evening" "Oh no, she was as
good as gold. We'll have her any time".
Finally, the goodbyes. A cup of tea and biscuits, and then to
bed.
In the dark, under the duvet that was her own, silent, private place
she closed her eyes and waited for it to happen.
'When was the last time? About five years ago. How long since it
happened? About thirty years'.
And there she was, sitting at the wheel of her car with the window
open. And suddenly, there he was. So close they could have
touched.
She felt herself trembling as she could almost hear her own heartbeat
getting louder.
"Hello" he said.
"Hello" she whispered".
And then the traffic started to move.
"Bye-bye" he said.
She opened her mouth but no sound would come out and it must have
appeared to him that she said "bye". Yet what she really wanted was to
scream "don't go. Wait for me, please."
And then he was gone.
In the dark her unseen tears fell upon the pillow as she sobbed
silently; anxious not to disturb her husband.
"Why me? Who are you and why d'you do this to me? My god, for thirty
years you've been part of my existence. I don't even know your name but
if I knew where you were I'd go to you"
As the sobbing abated and the tears subsided she fell into a fitful
sleep, knowing that it was over for a while and once again she could
get on with her life.