Time Immortal

The day's outing to the seaside was a special birthday treat. The
old man knew he must be a burden to his relatives, a young, married
couple with a family. They insisted he wasn't. But their indifference
showed. They didn't lift a finger to help the old man out of the car.
Or when he ploughed though the shingled beach with a deckchair and
windshield. He plonked his weary bones down. The family had dashed off,
enjoying themselves, tipping up buckets of sand to make castles.
Watching the children with their father, the old man reminisced. The
scene reminded him of when he was a boy; when a solid bond between
father and son suddenly came to an end. An immature mind failed to
grasp the situation at a crucial time in his life. His mother, trying
to comfort him, said he was only a baby and would soon get over it. She
didn't explain to him about death. Only that his dad had gone to Jesus.
Why? Didn't daddy love him anymore? Why did he go without saying
goodbye? Or taken him with him to this better place. Before this
happened, they had been inseparable. He wondered if, for some reason,
he had caused daddy to desert him. Was his punishment to be plagued
with self-guilt for the rest of his life? His adolescent years didn't
heal the wounds, either. He could not come to terms with it? The damage
had already been done. Confusion and doubt firmly implanted, playing
havoc with his reasoning powers. His tormented mind harboured insidious
thoughts, obsessed with being struck down once he reached the age of
damnation. A new father figure, had his mother remarried, might have
erased memories of happiness suddenly shattered by tragedy. Restore the
broken bond, which so cruelly deprived a boy of security.

Suddenly, the old man beamed back to reality when a beach ball scuffed
his head. He threw it back to the children and stood up, wanting to
join in their game. Their parents wouldn't hear of it, not wanting him
to fall and break his brittle bones. He was fit enough, but probably
too slow. They beckoned him to sit back down in the deckchair. Except
for the occasional 'Are you all right?" they hardly bothered him all
afternoon. After all, he must seem ancient to them. But he was glad he
had married young - in his teens, in fact - and immediately started to
raise a family. He grew up with his kids. And to ensure they had a
daddy who would stay, he did everything in his power to prolong his
life. Not to live forever, but long enough to see them okay. Though,
deep down, he knew he could not predict the future.

His mind went back again to when he stopped boozing and smoking;
visited the local library to read up on the mechanics of the human
body. He became a health nut, especially on looking after one's heart
and to get the best out of it. How to monitor high blood pressure, (his
dad's had been dangerously high.) and bring it down to a safe level.
This and other factors, such as angina, contributed to heart attacks.
He became a fitness freak, taking up regular outside exercise, cycling,
walking, jogging and swimming. In bad weather indoor workouts at the
local gym. Developing healthy eating habits was essential. From now on
lay off the junk food he so dearly loved. Change to a low fat diet to
keep cholesterol levels down and avoid clogged up arteries. Keeping to
the recommended body weight relating to his height would be another
lifesaver. He learned that eating meat left a residue of dangerous
poisons, which accumulate in the body, and turned vegetarian. Fired up,
he succeeded in creating a new lifestyle, doing away with all bad
habits that contributed to an early demise. All it required now was the
same determination and will power to keep it up. He knew only too well
the consequences if he didn't. His heart would just pack in like his
dad's.

The old man woke up once again when seawater sloshed his bare feet. The
tide had turned, racing inland. The parents were already leading the
children to safety. Nobody knew more than he did that a child needs two
loving parents. Yes, he had no daddy for those pastimes, or to help him
build sand castles, play beach ball, or paddle in the sea. He only knew
disappointment. Oh, his mother tried to be both mother and father, but
mothers had no time to sit around with sons on a bank side, waiting for
fish to nibble at a worm. Or drag them off to home matches on a
Saturday afternoon. (Ironically, his widowed mother lived well into her
nineties without changing her lifestyle).
But he hoped these kids would be spared the indignity of envying other
kids who had fathers, as he had done. And yet, he'd watched other
families with kids, growing up, but they wouldn't learn from his
experiences. The world had turned into a rat race, both young men and
women struck down in their prime. A self-destruct attitude had taken
over. The old man, hauled his frail body from the clutches of the sea,
struggled to a bench on the promenade. Immediately he flopped down, his
mind wandered again back to his failsafe health preparations. They were
not enough. A healthy body had not assured a healthy mind, as expected.
His subconscious mind refused to block out the trauma of his childhood
experience. Running amok, it festered into a phobia, continually
emitting bad vibrations. The age his father had died haunting him,
hinting that he, too, was destined for a shortened life. No matter how
many times he told himself that age was just a number it wouldn't go
away? To override it, it needed a stable mind. To instil a more
acceptable digit, believe in it heart and soul. Would his erratic
thoughts, strong forces allowed to run rampant, succumb to change? Or
would he one day be driven beyond the boundaries of insanity? He had to
try. Somehow, he must harness these bad vibrations. Discipline them in
a way he had subjected his body into rigorous submission. He dashed
back to the local library. This time to study books on self-hypnosis;
learn the powers of positive suggestion. To successfully transform
negative thoughts into positive thoughts. To achieve a positive outlook
on life, the book became his bible. Given time, he would be the captain
of his ship and the master of his own soul. Bombarding his mind with
self-hypnotic suggestions would suppress the offending number tattooed
in the dark, depths of his mind. As he gained control of his thoughts
the future seemed brighter. Suggesting a long and active life, capable
of living to the age of&;#8230;

The old man woke up when a carton of hot fish and chips were thrust
into his lap. A large helping of ice cream, for dessert, followed. He
eyed the children and their parents as they devoured their meal. Then,
leaving him to juggle with his, they disappeared into the nearby
amusements. He didn't mind. It was their world now. He'd been on this
earth too long. Many moons ago he'd discovered that a little knowledge
is a dangerous learning. He hoped they would never learn the secret of
how a receptive state of mind could be reprogrammed. What the mind
causes the mind can cure. Mumbling to himself, he settled back in his
seat and started the process, slowly inhaling three times. Every muscle
and every nerve in his frail body started to relax as he went into a
hypnotic trance. Like so many times in the past, the deeper he relaxed
the more he witnessed a general feeling of well-being. And grateful of
the tranquillity it bestowed on him.

Tears oozed down his cheeks and settled on the smile hovering on his
lips. It was painful to outlive his beloved wife, whom he had known for
a lifetime. But no man should ever outlive his children and
grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren or even
his great-great-great grandchildren. Somehow, body and soul didn't fit
in. Immortality was not what it was cracked up to be. Yet, all men
crave it. God hadn't intended it that way. HE gave humans a natural
immortality in passing on their genes to their offspring. That should
suffice, but it never does. The old man took one last look at the two
generations he was leaving behind. He could see a bit of himself in
each of their faces. They would soon see life for what it really is.
His heavy eyes flickered. Then closed. He implanted one last
suggestion, and let his mind float on the crest of eternal sleep. Today
was his one hundred and twenty fifth birthday. His number was up. He
welcomed it. Now and only now could he be at peace. In another world,
he would not know how long he had lived in this one.