The truth

I have to tell you the truth ~
in my perfect world, in my favorite dreams,
Each morning, from now until forever,
I would wake to see your smile.

In the secret darkness, where no one sees,
My heart weeps at the loss of you.

My future could be filled with
a hundred nameless men,
Kind ones and gruff ones,
rich ones and poor ones,
But charming and funny or quiet and serious,
they all wear your face.

I once asked you if the loving ever stops
but I told you not to answer.
For me, it only grows richer with time
aging, like wine, its bouquet ever
sweeter with the years.

In that same hidden place
I harbor a secret fantasy,
that a dream I've forsaken,
would come into the light with you.

I had given up the image
of myself as Mother,
tucked it away tightly,
and forgotten ever wanting.

But, sometimes as I see your smile and
look deeply into your eyes...
I can imagine what great joy it would be
to feel a life stir inside me, for the love
and passion I feel ~ to become the spark
for a fire of creation to burn.

For just one moment to think
of all the possibilities...
that those hands and fingers, that mouth,
those eyes and arms and legs,
the silken hardness of your cock which can
drive me mindless with desire
if it could only be mine to love,
protect and praise.

So, I have to tell you the truth.

When we meet and we talk, when we
laugh and drink and toast the future,
I swallow the bitter pill of regret,
I feel an ache in my heart and my womb,
for the future I'll never have with you,
for the child of yours that I'll never suckle
at my breast,
and that that heart of yours belongs not to me.