Ashes and toothless smiles.

cloudy room clouded head, wake up and get up. tired still but can't
lie motionless all day for shame, but all that's fading fast, and
theres no place i'd rather be than safe and sound in shackels and
chains. wishing i could reach that point: beyond where i am Ashamed for
not caring. it is a paradox, yes.
today i wrote a song:
"give me my apathy, fill me with hunger for nothing but nothing. i'll
be alright if i keep my eyes closed. give me my hideaway, i need
nothing not blankets or bed sheets, curtains or shutters, just deep
sleep, no dreams." chord changes are easy, perhaps i'll teach the
world. sex and sunshine dont make me smile anymore. alas.