Father, Mother, Destiny

I forgive you mother and father
For your mistakes
Will I be forgiven for mine?
They say the sins of the parents
Shall be visited upon the children
So they have visited
And I embraced them
In times of uncertainty
And ran from them in
In moments of clarity

Surely as the stone goes rolling
Down a steep slope
I too have fallen
And landed on bottom
Only to brush myself off
To attempt yet another perilous climb
A venture to the top
Where I truly believed
Love and safety could be found
In a parents embrace

Destiny however had another plan
Because I continued to ignore
What the universe had in store
So I climbed
And so I fell

Perhaps it was my own pain
That kept me trying in vain
For I could not foresee
That you suffered as well
How could offer something
That you were never given?

The flowers will not bloom
Without the water
But what if you never received the water
To give in the first place?
Now I understand mother and father

(pause)

Fixate over what cannot be changed
Bang your fists on stone
It is your hands that will bruise
Scream to the moon
Yell to the stars
Until your voice weakens
Drink yourself into oblivion
To suffer a sobering reality

Inflict your soul
With the blade of self-hatred
Ultimately your heart alone will ache
So you will climb
And so you shall fall

Although I will no longer
Try to take
Clearly what cannot be given
Your love and safety
Always will be hungered for

But I have become a spiritual warrior
Amid a world full of harsh realities
And self serving persons
I have learned to give myself
The water for the flowers

Love can still be ascertained
The outside is cold
But the inside is warm
And in here
I found what lay dormant
Waiting to spring forth

Now the inevitable time has arrived
To put the burning question to rest
What would life have been like with you?
The universe apparently has another design

(pause)

Perhaps in the next life
On another world
In some other time
There will be a new plan

In the meantime
Let go and stop ascending
An unattainable hill
From which you will fall
Yes, the pain will still survive
But it is love for myself
That gives me the strength to be alive

So I forgive you mother and father
For your mistakes
All that I ask in return
Is forgive me for mine
For I too am only human