Just Friends&;#063;

Just Friends?

Sarah laughed as she listened to the joke Daniel was telling her. 'God,
his Irish accent is so sexy sometimes', she thought to herself. She
paused. What was she thinking? Daniel - sexy? She shouldn't be having
thoughts like that about Daniel, she told herself. He was her best
friend. She didn't know what she'd do without him, but they were
friends, good friends, but just friends, and it could never be any
other way. Could it? She stared wistfully at him as he continued
talking, allowing herself just a few minutes to imagine what ifs and if
onlys.

Daniel felt Sarah's gaze on him, and he smiled up at her, pausing in
what he was saying. She broke the connection first, looking away,
embarrassed at the intensity of her stare. 'I wonder what that was all
about?' he thought.

"I'd better go. I've got a lecture this afternoon," she said standing
up.
She left, leaving Daniel to the growing mountain of revision he had to
tackle for his final exams the next month. They were both final year
students, graduating in just a manner of weeks. Daniel was looking
forward to leaving and already had a job lined up in a bank. He knew
Sarah wasn't so pleased to be leaving, having to leave her friends and
the lives they'd all made in the last three years. The time had passed
quickly, too quickly, but Daniel knew it was time to move on. The only
thing he would miss, besides the much-appreciated student discounts, of
course, would be Sarah. 'What am I going to do without her?', he
thought. She was his best friend, she was perfect, and he loved
her.
'I love her?!' he wondered, with a shock. Where did that come from? He
wasn't in love with Sarah. Was he?!
'I guess I am', he realised, finally admitting it to himself. He loved
the way her hair shone in the sun, he loved her smile, her eyes, the
way she always laughed at his stupid jokes and impressions, the way she
cared about things, about him. He loved the way they could talk for
hours, or just sit in comfortable silence and watch a film; how they
could have a laugh or be deadly serious. It was so clich?d, he knew,
but the more he considered it the more he knew it was true. He was in
love with Sarah, and he didn't want to lose her. Except he would, as
soon as their exams finished. He'd be off to work in Manchester, whilst
she was starting a teaching course in London. "Talk about bad timing",
he remarked to himself with a groan. What was he supposed to do now? He
and Sarah had always had able to talk about anything. Their
relationship was so comfortable, that's what made it so great. There
was no pressure, no expectations. In fact, it seemed the only thing
they couldn't talk about was their relationship. It was like they'd
drawn an invisible line and never crossed it. Just friends - never any
question of anything more - until now? He knew now that friends wasn't
enough, at least for him. What about Sarah, though? She'd never given
any indication that she would want to be more than friends.
'But neither have you', a small voice in Daniel's head reminded him. 'I
can't do it!' he thought. 'I can't risk ruining what we have. I can't
risk hurting her!'
'Or is it you you don't want to hurt. Aren't you just being chicken!'
replied the now-annoying voice. 'Shut up', Daniel told it, and tried to
get Sarah out of his mind.

Sarah, meanwhile, had returned home from a stressful lecture with all
the good intentions of doing lots of revision before going to the
cinema with Daniel. However, she'd promptly fallen asleep over her
books. And she'd had a very 'interesting' dream. She woke with a start,
sweat moistening her forehead. She'd dreamt of Daniel. Daniel kissing
her, Daniel's hands in her hair, running down her back, her hands on
his bare chest&;#8230;.She shook her head, trying to clear the
images.

Glancing at her clock, she was shocked to realise that it was already
7.30. Changing quickly, she grabbed a sandwich and prepared to meet
Daniel, though God knew she wouldn't be able to look him in the eye
after that dream.

Daniel rang Sarah's doorbell at exactly 8.00, with a nervousness he
hadn't felt since, well, never, with Sarah. After all, it was Sarah.
Just Sarah.
Sarah's annoying and interfering flatmate, Cathy, answered the
door.
"Hi, Cathy."
"Hi Dan. So, what are you two up to tonight?"
"Just the cinema," Daniel replied as Sarah came downstairs, hearing the
voices.
"Hi Daniel."
"Hi, ready to go?"
"Yeah, all set."
"Have a nice time. Don't do anything I wouldn't!", remarked Cathy as
they left. Sarah just groaned, used to Cathy's teasing about the two of
them.
On the way to the cinema their conversation turned to the usual
topics:
"So, did you get much revision done this afternoon?" Sarah asked.
"Some. You?"
"Uh, no. I, er, fell asleep after my lecture", she replied, and Daniel
was sure she was turning red. They continued in an uncomfortable
silence, somewhat uncommon to them, each deep in thought.
"So, six weeks and we're outta here. It'll be really good to finally
graduate", Daniel said, attempting to break the silence despite his
nervousness. His words were like a knife through the tension between
them. Sarah smiled sadly, avoiding his gaze.
'How have I never noticed how beautiful she is?' he wondered, only
half-listening to her reply.
"It will be good, but like I said before, I'm really gonna miss
everyone. And, I don't feel grown up enough to be graduating. Oh God,
that sounds so silly", she replied with a grimace.
"You're never silly", Daniel remarked quietly.
"Oh. Thanks", Sarah replied self-consciously. 'What the hell was going
on here?' she thought to herself. Why was she acting like a silly
teenager on a first date. It was only the cinema with Daniel, something
she'd done many times. With thoughts of Daniel, images of her dream
started to invade her mind, and she quickly squashed them before she
threatened to go bright red again.
Daniel meanwhile was sneaking nervous glances at her, and he was sure
that his palms were sweaty. Come to think of it, his mouth was going a
bit dry as well.
With a relief he realised that they were at the cinema.
The film was good, and gave them something to talk about. On the way
home the usual relaxed and comfortable atmosphere between them
returned. Until they reached Sarah's house, that is.
"Do you want to come in. For coffee?" Sarah offered.
"Uh, no, I'd better not. I've got a busy day tomorrow."
"Alright then. Well, thanks for inviting me. I had a good time."
"Me too."
Suddenly he was moving close to her. Too close. Sarah could feel her
senses heightening and her skin tingling. Daniel leant even closer, and
she looked up into his deep, dark, brown eyes. Surely Daniel wasn't
going to kiss her, was he?!
Then there was the lightest, softest touch against her lips, as his
lips lightly brushed hers. Before she could respond, he backed
away.
"I&;#8230;I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Bye."
Turning bright red, Daniel hurried away, leaving Sarah standing on the
doorstep, her mouth gaping open. Coming to her senses minutes later,
she went inside and went to bed, but hardly getting a wink of sleep due
to analysing this possible development in her relationship with
Daniel.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' Daniel told himself as he walked home, well,
actually, yelled to himself was a better description. He couldn't
believe what he had done.
'Did you see that look on her face. She must think I've gone completely
mad. I've really done it now! She'll never speak to me again. Just cos
I fancy her, how could I be so stupid to think she'd want me to kiss
her!' As much as he'd wanted to kiss Sarah, as much as it seemed a good
idea at the time, Daniel knew it wasn't worth ruining their friendship
for it. He valued that too much. But, he'd had to go and do it, hadn't
he? He'd blown it!

Sarah didn't see much of Daniel over the couple of weeks. Both were
busy with revision and exams, and Sarah realised, if she was being
honest, she wasn't sure if she wanted to see him. She still didn't know
what to make of that kiss. She knew she had to talk to him about it,
but she really didn't know what to say to him. The whole situation was
way too confusing. Everything was usually so great between them, part
of her couldn't help but wish that Daniel hadn't kissed her. But, the
other part of her was stupidly pleased he had. She was sure that
whenever she thought of it, thought of him, she got a stupid little
grin on her face. However, it wasn't that easy. She did like him, was
maybe even in love with him, but she had her exams to concentrate on.
Besides they'd be finishing university soon and then what would happen?
She couldn't get involved with anyone now, even Daniel. Why did
relationships have to be so awkward, she thought. It was so easy just
being friends with a guy, but the minute that changed, everything
became complicated. She sighed. 'Daniel and I will just have to remain
friends', she told herself firmly, 'that's all there is to it!' And
with that, she tried to concentrate on her revision again, trying to
ignore the image of Daniel's brown eyes boring into hers, and his mouth
close to hers.

The lack of communication meant that Daniel and Sarah didn't see each
again until their course graduation party, just three days before the
end of term. Their whole course was there, so Sarah wasn't surprised to
see Daniel over the other side of the room. 'He could at least come
over and say hello!" she thought as she sulked into her vodka and
coke.
"What's up with you and Dan the man? Why aren't you over there with
him? You should be all over him, you've only got 3 days left!" Cathy
asked, being perceptive for once.
"We're only friends, Cath. I don't have to be with him all the time,
you know!"
"Yeah, yeah".
"Cathy, shut up, you're drunk!"
"I know." She giggled. "And you're being a miserable pain. At least I'm
having a good time. Now, come on!"
Before she could make a getaway, Cathy had grabbed her arm in a
surprisingly strong grip, and she was being pulled over towards
Daniel.
"Have fun, you two", Cathy said as she deposited Sarah in front of
Daniel and made her exit.
"I'll kill her!" Sarah thought, feeling as she was part of some
ludicrous matchmaking scheme. Hey, maybe she'll even film us for
'Blind-date', she thought with a giggle.
"What's so funny?" asked Daniel.
"Oh, nothing. So, having fun?"
"Oh, yeah. Best time I've had all year!" He didn't sound too sure.
"You?"
"Um, yeah. Great!" Sarah began to relax. This wasn't so bad after all.
Maybe things would just stay the same between her and Daniel. She
realised he was talking again.
"Sarah, I&;#8230;Um. Well, I&;#8230;"
"Daniel, don't. It's alright. I'm just glad we're friends again. We are
friends, aren't we?" she said, not really knowing what else to
say.
"Yeah. Course we are."
"Ok, then, let's go and dance. This is one of my favourite songs." She
led Daniel on to the dancefloor, feeling much better, and decided to
forget all about 'Blind-date' and 'Cathy Black'!

They danced together the rest of the night. As they danced closer and
closer, Daniel couldn't help but think how good, how right, it felt. He
wasn't going to do anything to ruin it though. Sarah also, unknown to
Daniel, was thinking how nice it was to be in Daniel's arms. As the
evening went on, Sarah got more and more tearful about leaving
university, and Daniel decided to walk her home. Soon Sarah found
herself in her room, Daniel somehow still at her side.
"Right, coffee for you, I think!" he remarked cheerfully as Sarah
collapsed into an armchair. He made coffee and the two sat again in
comfortable silence.

"Oh, God!" Sarah suddenly exclaimed, "This is it. This is really it.
We've finished. We're real grown-ups now. You're going to have a proper
grown-up job! And I'll never see you again! Or anyone else! Do you know
how difficult it's going to be to stay in touch with people? Some
people are going to America you know, and Japan."
"Hey, don't worry. There's always phone calls, and e-mail."
"I know. It's not the same though."
"Oh, no. Don't cry. Really, it's be alright. You'll be alright!" Daniel
tried as he saw tears begin to well up in Sarah eyes.
"Sorry, I'm being silly." She replied as she stared to wipe her eyes.
Daniel went over to sit on the arm of her chair, putting a friendly arm
around her.
"No, I'm sorry. Cry if you really have to. But, trust me, it will be
OK." He leant over and brushed away her tears.
"Yeah, I trust you," she replied as his hand moved to cup her face. She
found herself once again gazing into his gorgeous brown eyes, which
were staring into hers with an intensity she'd never seen before. She
gulped. 'What now?' she thought.
"I&;#8230;"
"Shh." he said, as he leant closer; and he kissed her, briefly yet
tenderly, no longer caring if it ruined things. He was sure it wouldn't
this time.
"Sorry", he said as she caught her breath, but his smile implied he
wasn't sorry at all.
His hand was still on her face, his face close to hers.
"It won't happen again", he whispered, as he kissed her again, more
passionately. Her heart skipped another beat, and she began to
respond.
"Wow," she managed at last, as they broke.
"Yeah," he grinned.
Still acutely aware of how close he was, Sarah tried to regain her
senses.
"Daniel, are you sure? We've got so little time&;#8230;"
"Very sure."
"But what if this ruins everything between us?" she whispered, not sure
if she still believed that was possible.
"And what if it makes it even better. This is right. We both know
it."
He stood up, grabbing her hands and pulling her up with him, putting
his arms around her, his touch making her skin tingle. Sarah finally
surrendered to the truth. They were perfect for each other. They kissed
again, longer and more passionately, Daniel's hands running through her
hair and then down her back. Real life is much better than dreams,
thought Sarah, as she gave in to the sweet taste of Daniel's
lips.
And she knew that although it was the end of one part of their lives,
it was also the start of another.