I have a foolproof scheme

I have a foolproof scheme

To free my verse upon the state

To upload my persona

And to some extent, inflate

Like those who've gone before

I have a rather cunning plan

Soon everyone who's anyone

Should have a sense of who I am

I'll bite the heads off pigeons

As they swarm the city square

Sleep with famous icons

Tell the press without a care

Fill my house with rubbish

Then protest at sanitation

Find an alien being

And procreate a verdant nation

Tattoo a personality

Upon my inner thigh

Open up a pet shop

To vend the common fly

Sing in public so horrendously

I become a household name

Claim I have amnesia

From sitting on a train

Chain myself to newsreaders

Whenever they're on air

Seek out the puzzling Nessie

With a wheelbarrow and flair

If I was weird or a celebrity

They'ed hunt me for my ryhme

Actually I'm neither

Who knows there's always time

lex?03