Y-ballad

THE CONFESSION

Now old Michael O' Toole was a likeable type
And he came from the county of Clare.
He was born with one blemish: whatever was ripe
For the picking he plucked without care.

Yet at times after bouts of such thieving he'd feel
Some remorse like a shadow within.
And then off to the local, small church he would steal
To confess all his trespass and sin.

Well now, such was his mission one cold winter's day,
When he passed by the house of the priest.
In its kitchen he saw a large ham on display,
And he thought to himself, "What a feast!"

And as light as a breeze he was into the place,
As unseen as an owl in the night.
In and out of the kitchen he slipped, without trace,
For that ham was the joy of his sight.

And inside the thick coat he was wearing for cold
Went the ham and was hugged to his heart.
Now he went to confession, quite brazen and bold,
And announced he was ready to start.

Well now, Father O'Flannery knew from the voice
Whose confession he had to address.
And he urged Mick to speak, as a matter of course,
Of the deeds that he wished to confess.

And so Michael confessed to some sins, newly-passed,
Those transgressions he wished to recall;
But beneath his big coat he held the ham fast
And said nothing about it at all.

"If there's anything more that you wish to admit,"
The good Father advised, "it were best."
Mick O'Toole, he appeared then to struggle a bit
Before telling what lay on his chest.

"Well now, Father, I've stolen a ham from a man-
And a good man, if ever was one."
"That's a terrible thing now- by God's gracious plan,
That's a terrible thing you have done!"

"Tell me, what are you planning to do with this prize?"
The good priest adds, to probe Mick's remorse.
"I shall have to get rid of it now," Mick replies,
" You will take it, good Father, of course?"

"No, no, NO! I cannot! I can't possible take
Stolen produce, condoning your wrongs!
Have you thought of return, making up your mistake,"
To the person to whom it belongs?"

"O, good Father, I have! And yet would you believe it?
Its real owner completely refused!
And so what can I do? Now that you won't receive it,
I'm afraid I'm completely confused."

Well now, Father O'Flannery paused for a while,
"You must keep it- consider it given."
"O, good Father I thank you," Mick said with a smile,
"You're as wise as St Peter in heaven!"