Follow Your Heart

"Amala? What was his name again? My mom shouted from the dimness of the kitchen where she was rinsing dishes. I looked up from my book; she must have said it a few times already if she was using my full name instead of just Ama.
"It's Ahriman, mom, Ahri for short, and I promise he's a great guy.

"I still want to meet him first.

"I know.

My mom has always been overprotective. She has always insisted on meeting every guy I dated. You'd think she would have backed off after the first few, but of course she didn't. I didn't know how she was going to deal with me moving away. I mean, I was eighteen years old, and I thought she would begin to trust my judgment. I hadn't picked a loser yet. She, of course, thought that was all her doing. She had always told me to follow my heart, but she'd never given me a chance. I thought it was because my father left her when I was a baby. I really didn't know that much about him, but I thought that was because she had never gotten over it and she didn't want something like that to happen to me. She'd never told me any of that, of course, but I was a pretty good guesser.

"Where did you say you met him? Mom was not a very good listener either.

"He's Ruth's new neighbor. I met him a few weeks ago, at her graduation party. I've seen him a few other nights too.

"What does Ruth think about him? Ruth was my best friend. We had known each other since we were babies. We are so close that we were more like sisters than just friends. Mom and I would have trusted Ruth with our lives. I smiled; I couldn't tell Mom what she really thought. That wouldn't go so great: 'Well, Ruth thinks he's kind of weird because the house is really big and he seems to be alone. Oh, and not to mention they've never seen him come out of his house during the day and we aren't quite sure how old he is.' Truly, Ruth loved to think up weird conspiracies. She read too much Fantasy and Science Fiction. I thought he was probably just shy and worked nights. So instead, I said "Oh, Ruth likes him. I felt bad lying to my mother, but it wasn't really a lie. She didn't not like him, he was just really mysterious. That's why I was so eager to date him, eager enough to lie, because I wanted to find out more about him.

I turned over to look at the clock. 6:30. He would be there in only half an hour and I was still in my comfortable clothes: pajama shorts and a faded t-shirt that said "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle across the front. I scrambled up from the couch and vaulted upstairs to dress. I was just finished putting in a pair of emerald earrings that matched perfectly with my retro-style peasant top when the doorbell rang. It had taken me too long to pick out my outfit. I yelled down at my mom to let him in while I pulled my short sandy hair back in a half-twist and fastened with a clip. I glanced in the mirror one more time and grabbed my beaded purse. I could hear Mom interrogating Ahri downstairs. I hurried downstairs before she scared him off. He smiled warmly when he saw me, showing rows of shining white teeth. He beckoned to me, informed my mother that we would be at the cinema in his unusual lilting accent, and led me out the door.

I saw him many times after that. He was really great each time. He always acted the perfect gentleman, opening doors and pulling out chairs for me, and bringing me white roses. I was really falling for him. I never really stopped to notice the little oddities about him. Like how I never really saw him eat anything, how I never saw him during the day, how he never talked about himself, and most surprisingly, how even though things seemed to be getting more serious between us, he had never touched me. No hugs or casual hand- holdings, his skin had never touched mine in any way. It is even more disconcerting that I never seemed to notice these things at all. Or, I did, but they didn't seem to bother me in the least. I never stopped to think about his life, what he must do for a living. I had thought before that since he was always inside during the day, he must work nights. I never realized that that was impossible because he took me out every night. I was completely devoid of common sense.

My mother never really spoke to me about him. She didn't seem to have any opinion about Ahri, which was strangely out of character for her. I once asked her what she thought of him and she simply told me that I would have to decide on my own. She said that I was getting to old for her to decide everything for me and since I would be leaving for college in the fall I would have to learn to trust my own instincts. She told me to follow my heart. I accepted this without a thought, not realizing how weird it was that she would say such a thing. I never even considered how and if my relationship with Ahri would continue when I left home. I lived in the present only, without a thought to spare for past and future.

Slowly, I began to see him more and more. Soon, I was seeing him every night. He would pick me up shortly after sunset and bring me back just before sunrise. I became nearly nocturnal, spending the summer days sleeping and waiting in unhealthy anticipation for the night. I became less and less of my self, spending almost no time doing any of the things I used to. I stopped spending time with Ruth completely, had no time to read any of the books that I always used to have glued to my eyes. My mother left for work in the morning when I was still asleep and came home as I was leaving. I don't think she ever knew how I spent my time. She certainly never confronted me about it, which she definitely would have done if she had known.

I found myself constantly longing for him. Even when we were together, I would long for his touch. Then, one day the event I had been waiting for finally came to pass. As he was dropping me off at home that night, he invited me to come over to his house the next week. I accepted exuberantly and he smiled and said that he would see me then. I accepted that without question.

It was only a few days after that I was able to think clearly. I hadn't seen him for nearly a week and it was if by being away from him, his enchantment had worn off. In fact, thinking about Ahri gave me the creeps. He was too perfect. His looks, the way he acted, was straight out of a magazine. There was something almost not human about him. I tried to talk to my mom and to Ruth because I didn't know what to do, but they were both angry at the way I had been ignoring them. Ruth said I needed to sort out my priorities. I tried to tell them that I couldn't think clearly when I was around him, that he seemed to cast a sort of spell over me but not even Ruth would buy that. I began to wonder if the problem was really me, that maybe I found weird faults in people that didn't exist. Maybe I had watched too much TV. I'd tried to do what Mom always told me, to listen to my heart, but it wouldn't speak to me. I didn't know what I should do. I loved him and hated him all at once. I finally decided that the only solution was to accept his invitation and to tell him that I couldn't see him anymore. I would be moving away soon, so I had a convenient excuse. He never seemed like the angry type, so I thought he would probably understand.

On my way to Ahri's house, I was so nervous, I felt sick. I sat in the car in the driveway for a few minutes, staring at the house, before I went in. It seemed odd that what I so longed for only a week before was now what I dreaded. I took a deep breath, walked up the steps and rang the doorbell. As I waited to be let in, I admired the house. It was huge and beautiful. Perfect. The door was opened by a man in a blue uniform, probably a butler of some sort, who instructed me to wait in the room to my left. I looked at the door he was pointing to, then turned back to thank the man, but he was gone. I shrugged and entered the room he had indicated. The door swung shut behind me. I was inside a large circular parlor with a high ceiling. The carpet was rich, plush and a deep burgundy color. Paintings lined the walls, and in the center of the room sat a large circular fireplace. I settled uneasily into an armchair, just to pop back up a few seconds later when Ahri appeared from the other side of the fireplace. He must have entered through a door I didn't notice. He smiled at me and I melted into that familiar enchantment that had held me captive all summer. I couldn't think, I could barely breathe. And yet, deep down inside there was one part of me that was still me- a part that was screaming at me, warning me.

"I know what you intend to do Ama, but it is a mistake. You cannot escape me. I was startled to think that I could be read so easily. Who was he that he knew what I was thinking, that he could manipulate my thoughts? The bliss he put on me disappeared and was replaced with fear.

"Who are you? I asked, my voice trembling.

His beautiful lips parted in an awful, musical laugh that filled the circular room. "You do not want to know that, precious Amala. I am who you make me. I could be your sweetest dream or your worst nightmare. If you continue to shy away from me as you are doing now, this encounter could be less than pleasant. I will get what I want. He stepped closer to me, wrapping my thoughts up tight and sealing them away. I struggled from his hold, trying to regain myself for no other reason than natural survival instinct.

"What do you want? Why am I here? What do you intend to do with me? The words shot out of my mouth, feeding the small part inside that was still me.

"Why, I want you, of course, Ama. You are so pure, so sweet and uncorrupted; protected by your mother, no doubt. Who would ever know that it would lead to your downfall? Your mother- she knew of my brethren, your father was one. That is why I need you, Ama, because you are one of us. I am not doing this out of malice, but because it is destiny. Me and you together could wield more power than this world has ever known. Do not be afraid, Ama. I began to drift again. One little voice still warned of evil, but Ahri's voice drowned it out. "You will be revered. We will conquer.

"What am I, Ahri? What are you? My voice was not longer frightened and defiant, but sweet and admiring. It sounded strange to my own ears.

"We are beings of power, of magic, of strength. We are creatures of the night. Come to me, let me touch you, let me change you. Let me make you one of us, truly, completely. He advanced closer. My heart, I thought, my heart. I must follow my heart. I moved to him also. His arms reached around me and as soon as he touched me, my body was filled with an immense cold. His lips touched mine and power, such as I had never known, surged through me and I could feel myself changing, transforming. I broke away and let out a howl of pleasure. He howled with me, a supernatural sound that reverberated throughout the house. My head rested on his shoulder and we moved closer together. The transformation continued. Just then, a bang echoed into the room. The outer door had been slammed open. The sound of opening and closing doors could be heard. I tensed, but Ahri's hold on me remained firm. He couldn't break the connection now. The door that I had entered through opened and a familiar voice entered the room.

"Ama? I saw your car in the driveway and I heard screaming and I wanted to make sure you were alright. It was Ruth. Part of me jumped for joy but the rest filled with rage. Electricity continued to course through my body, altering me. Ruth moved closer and gasped. I do not know what we must have looked like to her. My eyes did not see. "Ama, stop it. He is evil, I know it. It's not too late. Come back to me, Ama. Oh, why didn't I listen to you before? Come back, Ama. Come to me. The part of me that was still human reached out to her, but the creature I was becoming pulled me back. She reached out to me and placed her arms around me, between me and Ahri. The current stopped and all three of us were thrown back. When I was able to sit up again, Ahri was gone but Ruth was still lying on the floor. The monster in me took over and I was filled with such rage and hunger that I pounced upon her. The rest is fuzzy and unclear in my memory. I can never remember the times when the monster takes over. All I remember was waking up covered in blood, satisfied, on the burgundy carpet. The sun had just risen and I could make out Ruth's mutilated body on the floor across the room. Tears filled my mind and pain wracked my body.

My mother had always told me to follow my heart. But, what if it lies?