Christmas in Kessingland (a sestina)

Cherry

By luigi_pagano

Sat, 17 Nov 2018
  • 1303 reads
9 comments
 
It was Christmas day
but it was like summer.
We relaxed, sunbathing,
on Kessingland beach.
It happened just one time
and it never happened again.
 
We shall go back there again
but not on Christmas Day;
at a more appropriate time,
perhaps earlier in the summer
when we can comb the beach
or indulge in sunbathing.
 
I once got burnt sunbathing
and said: never again!
But we can lie on a beach
on a sunny and pleasant day
during an Indian summer
and have a good time.
 
We know that over time
the effect of sunbathing
at the height of summer,
if done again and again,
will punish us one day
for loitering on the beach.
 
There is a certain beach
at the present time
that's open every day
for nude sunbathing
but, it must be said again,
it has to be in the summer.
 
And at the end of summer
we will desert the beach;
we will choose again
the recreations of winter time
and, temporarily, sunbathing
will have had its day.
 
Forget the beach and sunbathing
and in time the day will come
when summer is with us again.
 
© Luigi Pagano 2018
Certificate U
Poem
Mutevoli pensieri
Nature
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

You did do a Sestina once before didn't you? Seems like the vehicle for a leisurely ballad. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Did I, Rhiannon? Please remind me when it was as I don't recall it. I remember writing a 'chant royal' but as I have written so many it is possible that I'm suffering from a 'senior moment'.
Apart from that, what do you thing of this, does it work? I took me a whole afternoon to concoct this. 
The form is a bit limiting. One has to work with six words and find many ways of using them in a particular order. You are the only one who has responded, thanks, and it would be useful to have more feedback.

Luigi x

 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Sorry, I'll have to work on remembering that, if it was so, but maybe it was a 'chant royal' (just had to look up what that is!) as I had thought it was a complex rhyme scheme, and was surprised to realis a sestina isn't so.

Yes, I can imagine, it would take long working it out to get smooth. I've been working on a Welsh form that is proving very difficult, though it doesn't necessarily sound it.

The site is pretty quiet at the moment, especially for reading and commenting, it does vary somewhat doesn't it? And I suppose technical verse formation doesn't attract a lot of academic interest at present either, maybe the skill and work isn't noticed, just the 'story', if it is fun.

This does work and is pleasant, but it is the skill that takes the work, and the fun of showing the variation twists on the theme, rather than a gripping story! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

You are absolutely right, Rhiannon, it is the story rather than the form that is mostly noticed. I prefer it when the I.P. is based on an idea and not on techical detail. Having said that I'll try anything once or, if I am a glutton for punishment, maybe twice.
The event I have described is my recollection of a day, roundabout Christmas time many years ago, when the weather was so warm that our children actually played on Kessingland beach with buckets and spades building sand castles although it isn't true that we sunbathed.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

We lived in a seaside town when I was young, and my father always said Christmas Day was the best day to go down to the beach as it got so crowded in summer! Complex technical forms take a long time to master, and it isn't easy to use them for a particular idea until they've really become familiar. A half-hearted attempt is uncomfortable to read. You have certainly got the form smooth, and had a pleasant idea of story to twist about with! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Thanks Rhiannon. Contortions rather than twisting would probably be required to achieve a satisfactory result.
Being, as I said, a glutton for punishment, I am having a second go at the sestina. A bit surreal this time.
Also, the brief mentioned that a tanka would be fine; so I posted 'Climate Change', much easier to do.

Looking forward to see a contribution from you.

Luigi x

 

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Thanks to the Eds. for the cherries.

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Got some appreciation-feedback for the work in  the end, Luigi!

By the way, should have responded when you mentioned on the other sestina you weren't sure if my 'muddled' comment referred to your presentation or to the situation described, but it was the latter of course, the dream-story itself, and its pointer to the muddles people get into in life. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Yes Rhiannon, it was an unexpected accolade and very welcomed.
As for the other sestina I took on board your helpful comments and thank you for that. I wasn't particularly satisfied with the way the piece turned out and decided to give it the chop.

Luigi x