School Christmas Pantomime - Peter Pansy

Sex & Relationships Education is happening in our primary schools.  How long before school pantomimes become like this?

Tinkerbell -:  I'm a boy.  I always have been.  When I was nine years old, I realised I wasn't quite like all the other fairies.  So I threw away my poufy magic wand and made my own magic wand in the shed.  Anyone can make this magic wand by taking a piece of plastic drain pipe and screwing pieces of metal to it.
Peter -: The reason that I never grew up is that the doctor at the sex change clinic put me on hormone treatment to delay my puberty until I had decided whether I wanted to be a boy or a girl.  Give me Tinkerbell's old magic wand.  Aah, it's lovely.
Tinkerbell -:  A question from the audience.  Yes, Wendy?
Wendy -:  Is it true that when a boy says 'I don't believe in fairies' a fairy dies?
Peter -:  How do you define the word boy?  Is he a boy or a trans boy or perhaps he is a half boy/half girl?  How does the boy identify himself?
Wendy -: Like 99% of the people in this country he is a boy, perfectly happy with the gender he was born with.
Peter -: Oh Wendy, you must never say that.
Wendy -: It's a government statistic.  99% of people are not transgender at all and 98.5% of people are not gay or bisexual at all.
Peter -: Yes, but children mustn't know these things.  Politicians like you to imagine a world where there are children having sex change operations in every high school and where there are millions of gay people getting married and adopting children, not just one or two.
Tinkerbell -: Let me assure you, Wendy, we are doing everything we can to change those statistics.
Wendy -: If a happy-to-be-masculine-boy says 'I don't believe in fairies,' does a fairy die?
Tinkerbell -: I would say that if a boy says 'I don't believe in fairies' he dies.  If I heard a boy say that, I would say, 'Come outside.  Do you want a fight?  I'll show how real fairies are.  Feel my fist in your face.  It's real.  Feel my feet in your ribs.  They're real.  You'll believe that fairies exist if one puts you in the back of an ambulance.'
Peter -:  A question from Wendy's mother.
Mother -:  You said that it was very important that all children were given the opportunity to choose their gender.  How can a child choose to be transsexual or gay?
Tinkerbell -: The government might be able to choose whether children are transsexual or gay.
Peter -: They can tick a box on the form we give them.  They can choose one of 55 different genders.  If they label themselves as being a particular sexual identity when their minds are still developing, that is what they will become, so you see, the child has chosen their gender.
(Tinkerbell is standing next to an old car.  This play could be acted in the school playground.)
Tinkerbell -: I bought a car for £200 on Ebay.  This is the car that We Buy Any Car.com didn't want to buy.  I will make it work with my magic wand.  Abracadabra, brand new brakepipes.  Hocus pocus, no more oil leaks.  Abracadabra, brand new transmission belt.  Hocus pocus, an engine that will do 250,000 miles.  Abracadabra, brand new gearbox.  Hocus pocus, no more rust.  I will drive this car to Never-Never Land where it will pass its MOT.  (Gets into the car and drives away.)