And here comes the bride!

I have been mercilessly inundated with emails after I wrote that
last piece on single girls. From friends and family members!! They have
ridiculed me. Snapped at me. Shouted themselves hoarse (yeah you can do
it on email these days). And finally disowned me. And my darling
boyfriend? He really is such a sweetheart you know. He gave up the idea
of getting married altogether seeing how inconvenienced my entire life
would become. And guess what? He suggested we start living in. Now what
do you call the fool who lets the axe fall on her own feet? Me.

Oh well I did mention I wasn't against the idea of getting married. But
I guess I didn't quite bring it up often enough! So now here I am,
labeled a feminist who doesn't even understand feminism. And added to
this tag is the prospect of having a live in arrangement with my beau.
A live-in is not something I am comfortable with. And marriage? Oh
dear! What do they say about the frying pan on one side and the fire on
the other? (And you think we spinsters are a happy lot, huh?) I tried
rationalizing, I tried arguing, I tried all the weapons a woman can in
a time of distress. And what was the result? I got conned into
saying?no, I won't tell you so easily. Torture yourself a bit. Go
through this t?te-?-t?te.

Me: But sweetheart, it was just an article. You know I want to marry
you some day. Don't you honey? (Observed a baby's feigned innocent
look? Ok you can see me then!)

Boyfriend: No sweetie, it's not about marriage any longer. It's about
arrangements. (Very firmly) I don't want you to be obliged to get up at
6 in the morning and serve tea to your in-laws just because you have
graduated from being my fianc? to my wife! I wouldn't want you to go
through all that rigmarole of visiting relatives and performing all
those rituals of a dutiful bahu. (I could see his jaw line set with
resolution. This was going to be toughie!)

M: (meekly) I know?I know I have never been an early riser. I don't
know how to make tea. I absolutely detest relatives. I just cannot
stand the thought of being put on the pedestal of a traditional
daughter-in law. But?but still, don't you see how marriage is so good
for us? We'll be together for a lifetime. You'll see me every night
when we get back from work (Psst: I work on night shifts!!!). We'll
have our own house?.

B: (smiling) Sweetheart, I know. Haven't I waited outside your door for
an hour at times when you have been enjoying your luxurious bubble
bath? And haven't I ended up cooking food for both of us when you
called me over for dinner but had only Maggi to serve? You don't really
want to get married honey. Believe me, a live in relationship is ideal
for you. We'll be together. We'll still have a house. We'll even have
our own kitchen garden if you want one!

M: No but?.

B: (interrupting) And hey! You won't even have to change your surname!!
You'll always be a Bhatia! Isn't that simply wonderful?

M: Hmmm?(very ponderously)

B: And honey, take animals for example. They don't have a ritual to
pronounce them as married. Look at your own dogs sweetheart. Babli has
been with Dablu for the past eight years now. Hasn't she?

M: Yeah, but all they do is just conjugate! We have better mental
faculties (I seriously doubt that, but what the heck!) and we know that
a relationship is not just restricted to the bedroom. It's much more
than that! It's about love, it's about commitment, and it's about
security. (What the hell is wrong with me I am advocating marriage??
And that to, for myself??)

B: (Frowning seriously) So what are you trying to say? That if I pledge
to live my entire life with you BUT just not marry you I am any not
committed to this relationship? Or I love you any less? Why is that
piece of paper so significant for you? Is my word not enough?

Things took a serious turn now. (Hey! My life is not all that funny you
know!) We talked and talked and talked. Even ended up discussing our
prospective kids and their surnames!! And well?four hours later we
exchanged six final sentences.

B: Let me get this straight. What you are trying to say is that you
have NO problems whatsoever getting married?

M: Of course not.

B: So what you ARE saying is that we can get married?

M: Yeah I never said we wouldn't.

B: No, but what you are telling me is that I DON'T have to wait for
some light years and we can actually DECIDE on a date?

M: Umm?well?(What's the other name for an idiot? Don't look around -
it's right there at the end of this write-up!!!)

So, the good (?) news is that I am tying the knot next year. Feel free
to pour in your best wishes at mansibhatia78@yahoo.co.in. Till then,
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!