Rant

cold, dead, lonely inside. no emotion of love, caring or kindness,
compassion; empathy, honesty, sympathy...all space taken up by vast
quantities of violent angered hatred which can spiral into torrents of
bitter tears or numerous viscious attacks on unsuspecting victims, but
innocent they are not.
But worst of all, this twisted madness is choked by the hand of fear.
fear of being left behind, not accepted, not loved. being so afraid
drains the soul, drains the spirit of all emotion,leaving nothing but
the vessel of fueled fire which we can come to call....me......

please do not pity, do not feel sorry. yes, its true, its hard being a
bitch, but its even harder to attempt to be nice
pretty, with nice hair, nice clothes, a nice family, nice friends, a
nice house
a nice boyfriend
....nice.....now theres a word
its not 'lovely' or 'great' or 'valant' or 'supportive', its nice
nice is sweet i supose, sickeningly, vomit-enducingly sweet.
all i want is someone
to be all mine
to belong solely to me
to love me, to strike a balance and maybe let some love (if there is
such a thing) leak into my hollow tin chest