Tradesmen come good

Tradesmen come good

I decided to sleep only with tradesmen
To see if they're good with their hands
To see if they'd be more proactive
When faced with sexual demands

I thought I could bypass the quoting
The 'hmms', the 'arrs' and the 'buts'
Cut out the tea, milk two sugars
Help to decrease their large guts

I got going quite quickly, my builder
Made a perfect starter for one
I liked the fact that he was common
With hairs on the crack of his bum

He kneeled down to check on my pointing
While I pointedly unfastened my shirt
I surprised him by cupping his buttocks
And whispering I was no flirt

He jumped up startled, very quickly
His hat from his head went awry
He looked quite confused poor fellow
But his dreams came true, lucky guy

Number two was my plumber, quite old
With a moustache that drooped on his lips
He responded most amicably it's true
As I pulled him onto my hips

Number three, a boy, the window cleaner
Short and quick, he was lacking in time
But it's worked out well for the future
As my windows are now free from grime

Fourth I went for my sparky
Fifth the roofer and sixth the sweep
He was dreadfully dirty
I was washing out soot for a week

Is this breed good with their hands?
Yes, I guess so and other tools as well
The only drawback is their physical activity
And of course, its accompanying smell

My husband's delighted with tradesmen
Their invoices come in so cheap
And now when they say they're coming
They turn up that very week

Of course, I'm tired fairly often
Our sex life has suffered a tad
But until my husband learns carpentry
I'm not getting over this fad.