Untitled fragment 2 - a poetic evolution

Original
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dry stagnant fragments of burnt summer
dragged through saline warmth and nurtured steam
intoxicated segments of fire, bathed in green star feathers
float along painted traces of starved emotion
while the goat grass ragged stems of night
dance in the mirror sting of a lost embrace
the crystal fortress of security
cracks

Updated
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dry fragments of burnt summer,
green crusted remnants of a shallow frog pond, waiting,
dragged through saline warmth and nurtured steam,
pungent and crawling with embryo pestilence.
with intoxicated segments of fire,
smouldering circles rise to the evening sun.
bodies bathed in bulrush feathers
float along painted traces of starved passion,
while the goat grass ragged stems of night
dance in the mirror sting of a lost embrace.
they sink and slowly dissolve
into blood red pulsing amnesia,
and the crystal fortress of security
cracks.

Condensed
--------------------
dry summer,
a shallow pond,
waiting,

drag
pungent, crawling

fire,
circles rise

bodies
float on passion,
while night
dances in a lost embrace.

sink
into blood red
pulsing
forgetfulness,

and the crystal of security
cracks.

Rhyming
-----------------
dry fragments of a long burnt summer,
remnants of a shallow pond,
dragged through warmth and nurtured steam,
pungent, crawling sphagnum frond
with noxious segments of fire smoke,
smouldering circles rise to the sun.
bodies bathed in bulrush feather
float where once starved passions run,
while goat grass ragged stems of night
dance in the sting of a lost embrace.
they sink into blood red pulsing dreams,
and forget all modest thoughts of grace
until they find no turning back
and their crystals of security
                           
      crack