Snog the Frog

Snog was a frog
He lived by a bog
On a pond
On his lily pad home
But unlike the others
Snog's froggy brothers
Sad Snog
Had an itching to roam

Life as a frog
Was a terrible slog
The pond
Was incredibly smelly
And all they could eat oh
Were flies and mosquito
Which disgustingly
Buzzed in the belly

Snog had a book
From a library he'd took
It had tales
Of a rich Prince who fell
To a curse of dark magic
Turned the Prince oh so tragic
To a frog
A most wickedly spell

Snog's eye's were twinkling
The book had him thinking
"I'm a Prince"
"Trapped in this frog skin"
"This curse I must foil"
"I'm really a Royal"
"I want out"
"I should be the next King"

"I don't belong in these ditches"
"Somewhere I have riches"
He declared
"There's BLUE BLOOD in me"
But the other frog's laughed
At Snog's hilarious gaffe
"That's blue blood"
"From the blue flies from tea"

According to the tale
To make the spell fail
Snog must seek
The kiss of a girl so blonde
Now that sounds rather easy
But girl's tend to get queasy
Smooching
Warty guy's smelling of pond

Snog packed up his britches
With a few fly sandwiches
And set out
He needed a dandy plan
For there weren't many girls
In this anti-frog world
Prepared to
Bump lips with amphibian

He'd hopped miles down a lane
When a cute girl there came
With blonde tresses
Curled down heading south
"This could be the one"
"My frog life is done"
"GISSA SNOG"
And he aimed for her mouth

The girl reeled back
And lashed out with a slap
Flinging Snog
Into fields full of cattle
As he lay on his back
It was an obvious fact
To succeed
He must be more subtle

"I'll sneak a kiss with a trick"
"I'll hide in a LIPSTICK"
And he squeezed
Himself into a cosmetic
But the case squeezed too tight
Snog shot out with a fright
As plan's go
This was looking pathetic

Snog flew through the air
In the high atmosphere
Did one orbit
Got snagged on a comet
He flirted with Mars
Did three laps of the stars
Feeling sickly
He really could vomit

He skimmed by the sun
The heat burnt his bum
He spun around
Bounced off the Moon
With a sonic boom loud
He ploughed through the clouds
Back to Earth
It was over quite soon

All the frog's rushed to greet him
They all wanted to meet him
They were proud
With a smile on their face
"You're a Prince to us all"
"You can really stand tall"
"Our hero"
"The first frog in space"

Back by the bog
On the pond returned Snog
With his friends
On his favourite lily
He now came to realise
It was clear he was wise
His idea
He was Royal was just silly

You don't need a Palace
Or to drink from a chalice
Of gold
How you look's not the thing
You don't need to be Royal
If you've friends that are loyal
These are riches
Beyond any King.