Easy.

Easy.

Today is the first of five days I will be with Mum; it is my turn.

Mum is now 90 years old and has dementia. Thankfully Mum knows us, but if she went to an appointment, she would not remember that she has been.

Last week when I arrived, Mum said, “I have eaten half my dinner I have left it for your dogs.” That’s good to know, that Mum remembers that we have dogs, and that I do give them nice leftover meat that is left.

Mum is not diabetic, diabetic, but she has to be careful what she eats. William my brother is very strict with what Mum eats, as he is a very healthy eater, and this reflects in what he gives Mum when it is his turn. William does not eat any process food; he prepares all his food from fresh.

When it is my turn, it is quality time, and now I seem to have sorted Lunch times to a T.

When I get to Mums lunch time, I have not had time to have breakfast, so I have brunch while Mum has Lunch. For this meal we have 2 rashers of bacon, 2 eggs, a tin of spaghetti that we share, Mum have two slices of toasted brown Hovis bread I have, white toasted bread, we have butter on. I have bought Mum mango and orange juice; this is to encourage Mum to drink. This is given in a small glass and will be given over the 5 days. I tend to give Mum a cup of tea, so Mum can drink that while I am cooking the brunch/lunch. As it is difficult to get the liquid amount into Mum! Mum used to have half an avocado with me but recently Mum hasn’t been eating her half, so I have stopped that, and just have the whole one to myself.

The Winter Olympics will be on, as I cook.

After I have finished cooking, we may watch the Winter sport, or Columbo, as Mum likes to watch him.

We will them sit down to eat. Mum will now eat all of her Lunch, it is a bit like having two breakfasts, for Mum would have had two eggs and half a tin of baked beans and toast at 8am by her paid carer, with her first cup of tea.

The little notebook on the kitchen table, we and the carers have to write what Mum has eaten or what she has left. This was William’s idea. Before he retired, he was a Manager, and he still managers all of us, and makes sure everything runs shipshape, us, the carers, the flat and Mum. He is a godsend! We all have a different part to play, I order Mum’s medi, and take Mum to the dentist, and eye tests, Matthew cuts Mum’s toe nails, when it is his five days he gives Mum hash browns with her breakfast, he also used to give Mum a shower, as he is a Nurse. That was before Mum had carers. I used to give Mum showers too, when it was my turn, it was difficult the first few times, never thought it would be something that I would do. But it’s our Mum. This was us showing her that we love her, she cared for us when we were little. William takes Mum to other appointments, that we can’t go to, as we are at work, and he fills in forms, and makes complaints if the carers do something that he does not approve of!! William has labelled everything in Mums flat for her, including all the photos around her flat.  

Every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, one of us go to Mum’s flat, 6 till 9pm until the carer comes and puts Mum to bed at 9pm.

When it is our turn, we all have to do the shopping for Mum, enough that will last until Thursday, ready for the next Sibling. The things that we don’t buy, William will buy with Mum’s money.

Tonight is my first of five days with Mum, I had brought the shopping for the both of us for the 5 days, this includes garlic bread that Mum likes.

I also brought Hula Hoops BBQ flavour, my favourite. I had bought my reduced microwave meal, to eat, and I gave Mum a bag of the crisps, as I put my meal in the microwave, for 3 minutes.

I showed Mum what to do to open it, with my forefingers and thumbs, at the top of the pack, on either side, Mum put her fingers where she saw me put mine, I said, “Now pull it apart Mum,” Mum gently tried, but nothing happened. It reminded me of my kids, when I was teaching them to blow their nose, but they were too young to know how to blow, so they would be making a sound, but nothing would be happening.

I had to walk away; I went to the kitchen and watched from there. When I had put my meal on a plate, and tomato ketchup, I went into the living room, where Mum was still trying to open the bag of crisp.

I started to eat, but Mum was still trying, off and on, while also watching the winter sport. I could not relax.

Mum wasn’t doing it on purpose, for she loves those crisps. I had to try not to be annoyed, for to me it was easy, but for Mum it was not. It would have been SO easy to just do it myself, but that would not help Mum, for we need to keep her ticking over, as long as possible! And opening a bag of crisp for Mum would not be helping her. She was patient with me and us; she is the best Mum. All her children are professionals.

At one point, Mum gave up! Mum stopped trying and just watched the telly.

I asked Mum to, “Give me the crisps,” She did. I too was tempted to give up and open them for Mum.

I had taken them away long enough to gather my thoughts, for 20 seconds or so, and then, I got up, put my tray down and went back to Mum with the crisps, they were still 100% unopened.

I showed Mum again how to open them, and as I stood there with her, she opened them, I gave a cheer, and a “Well done Mum.” I said to Mum, “This is to help you, so that you won’t forget how to open them,” Mum didn’t think so, and said so.

I then asked Mum, “Do you want to watch the snooker? Mum said, “Yes.”             

Mum really enjoyed her crisps, and so did I after my meal. x