I've managed to piece together

I've managed to piece together
that Barry the chef was involved.
because I heard he phoned in sick
but had been spotted in a club.

I also noticed that two wine glasses
are in the dishwasher
and the bottle opener is in the drawer
not on the hook.

From overhearing what you said to Shelley
I've gathered that it was an isolated incident
she also said something about stilletos
and Boots the Chemist.

From looking at your expression
and general demeanour
I know that you are sorry
so I will not say anything.

I just do not understand
why our bedroom floor is covered in hay
or what happened to all of my spaghetti.