Alpha Bartles

On a planet called Alpha Bartles lived a happy dwelling. These
people were among the happiest in the Universe.
"Aliens are attacking the planet, Mr. President."
"Let them be, I'm is a drinking."
That is one of the most obvious rehearsals of this planet's
Utopia.
They was all drunk.
The part this planet had in drunkeness that we do not is that there
bodily systems could process alcohol in a way taht it not only did not
hurt their cicuitry, but actually helped.
No hangovers. There circuitry was so advanced that these were
impossible.
No drunken aggression. ON this planet, the inhabitatns were too drunk
to lift a fist or to spout an insult.
No DUIs. This planet would find cars stupid, if, in fact, they had
them.
Everything was neglected by the inhabitants and therefore,
thrived.
No pollution, people were too drunk to think of making any sort of
factory that created pollutants.
No racism. Everyone had booze-goggles on and couldn't tell what color
you were.
No wars. C'mon, if you were totally wasted would you feel like marching
up and down some territory with the idea that someone wanted to kill
you?
by the by
by the by