An Encounter with Circe

When I sat down in front of Circe she stared at me as if I was some
unknown species. She studied my face with her green, glass-like eyes
which were sparkling from the light of the moon shining through the
open window to my left. Her hair which was long and grey nestled
comfortably in the hollows of her collar bone which protruded, like a
sculptured statue, above the neck of her purple robe. She had something
to tell me, but she kept quiet for a few moments as if she was thinking
it all over in her head first. I didn't push her. She wasn't a woman to
be hurried, that I could see. And there was something strangely
mesmerising about those eyes which kept me waiting patiently for her to
speak, hands unmoving in my lap, my body motionless with them.

"You're planning your trip home I understand" she said quietly with an
air authority in her voice.

"Yes" I replied, finding it difficult to find the words as if they had
got lost between my throat and my mouth.

"On your way home to Troy, you will pass a place," she paused, "a
place you must not stop to visit."

I frowned, not knowing what she was talking about.

"What sort of place?" I asked, once more struggling to get the words
out, but eager to know where this was going.

"It's an island," she said, tilting her head ever so slightly to the
right so that a strand of hair, much darker than the rest, fell in
front of her eyes. "It's a green island, covered with trees and meadows
and flowers. It looks like the most perfect place on earth and you will
want to reach out and touch it. You will want to turn your ship around
and explore its shores and make it part of your soul, but you
mustn't!"

She said these last three words with such command that I flinched
backwards in my seat, expecting her to jump up and strike me. But she
didn't. She sat perfectly still in her chair and continued to watch me
intently, without saying a word. It was as if she expected me to know
what she was talking about, as if she needn't give any more of an
explanation, but I was completely confused.

"Why mustn't I?" I asked timidly, leaning closer to her and as I
breathed in I smelt flowers, flowers in the rain.

Her response was a roll of the eyes and the following assertion,

"You men know nothing!" she barked at me, causing me once more to
press my back into the chair. She sighed heavily and stood up. She
shuffled over to the far side of the room where a pile of scrolls lay
on the floor under another window. As she rummaged around in the pile,
muttering quietly to herself, another scent caught my attention and I
noticed a bunch of lilies sprouting through the wooden floorboards of
the cottage. They grew beneath the open window and the midnight air was
carrying their scent into my face. It was intoxicating.

"Ahh" she snorted having found what she had been looking for. She
shuffled back to her chair, her purple robe moving in time with her
large body, and a scroll in her hand. As she sat down she asked, "You
know women?"

Her question surprised me and again I was perplexed.

"What?" I asked.

"Women," she repeated in a louder tone, "I take it you know
them?"

The peculiarity of her question eased my anxiety for a moment and I
chuckled.

"Of course I know them!" I said "What's that got to do with
anything?"

I thought that maybe Circe wasn't as wise as she was renowned to be.
She wasn't making any sense.

"What sort of women do you know?" She asked, leaning gently back in
her chair but her presence was still so formidable that I felt she was
only inches away.

"What do you mean 'what sort'?" I asked, raising my voice somewhat as
my frustration began to mount.

"I mean precisely that! What sort?"

She appeared to grow taller in her chair as she asked this with those
green eyes burning into my own and as her voice grew louder I
subsequently felt myself wither.

"The..er..usual sort" I answered feeling flustered.

"By usual I suppose you mean good women, well behaved women?" she
smirked, "Women who are sweet and demure, quiet, flirtatious,
subdued?"

I thought for a few moments about the women I knew and they all seemed
to fit that description.

"Yes" I said as I thought to myself that surely that was the only sort
of woman, or the only good sort of woman.

"I thought as much," she said with a sigh, sounding disappointed and
angry with my response. "I'm afraid, boy, that you are completely
unaware of an entirely different type of woman." She rolled out the
scroll and threw it onto my lap making me flinch.

The image that lay before me was that of a woman, but no woman I had
ever seen before. She was entirely naked, leaning against the trunk of
a blooming tree, one hand on her hip. She showed no shame at her
nakedness but seemed to be revelling in it. Pride was painted across
her face as she smiled confidently out of the paper. Her hips were
large, her groin dark and covered with a thick mass of pubic hair and
her breasts were large and round, resting on a curved belly. She had
black hair, and it was long and silky like the sky outside the window
of Circe's home.

I had never seen anything so beautiful and I felt as though I could
reach my fingertips into the page and touch her glowing skin. My
fingers moved involuntarily and I was about to touch the creature when
Circe snatched the parchment back and scowled at me.

"That is what lives on that island!" she snapped.

I was still in a daze from what I had seen and it took me a moment to
remember where I was or the purpose of my presence with this strange
woman.

"That is why you must stay away from that island!"

"But why? It's only a woman, what can she do?."

If I could be seen as any other creature at that moment in her eyes
then I would have been a mouse, or a flea, for Circe stared at me as if
lightening was about to flash from her eyes and kill me there and then.
If I could have moved and ran, I would have done.

"These women are not like those dolls of yours! They do not wait
patiently to be spoken to before they speak. They do not wait to
touched before they touch. They will do what they want and what they
want is their desire to be quenched. That is why you must stay away! If
you give in to your temptation it will be the end of you."

"But that's ridiculous" I said "Why would these women be a threat to
me and my crew? What could they possibly do to us? If they're as wild
as you say then surely all they need is a bit of direction, someone to
guide them. Maybe we could help, we could advise them how to behave.
I'm sure if we just?"

"Stop there!" She shouted. "Believe me boy, if you step foot on that
island that will be the end of you! They will drain the life from your
body and only your pathetically pale skin will remain!"

"But it sounds like they need help. Surely it's our duty to?"

"Don't think you can change them. The passion, the desire for libido
burns in their bellies and you cannot extinguish it with lessons of
courtesy and decorum!"

"But.."

"No buts! If you step foot on that island that's it, that's the end of
you. You've just proven that to me with your reaction to this picture,
a mere picture!" She shook the scroll in my puzzled face. "Their
beauty, their voices that sound like gifts from the Gods will lure you
in and you won't be able to resist the touch of their skin and their
hair and the lines and curves of their bodies. You're sweating and
aroused already! You must stop yourself sailing to them. You won't be
able to control their desire!"

Circe was right to some extent. The picture of such an alluring
creature had put me out of sorts and all I could see in my mind was her
body and the thought of my hands on her. But surely Circe's description
of their unruly behaviour was exaggerated. Surely there weren't women
who acted like men, the idea was preposterous! Women weren't creatures
of passion and desire and even if they were, the levels of such could
not be comparable to that of men! Their nature was a loving one, a
caring one. Women were there to be supportive, to look after their
children. Their bodies were instruments of male desire, of sustenance
to babies, not an apparatus of pleasure for their own sake! Circe must
have been mistaken.

"I'm never wrong!" Circe boomed at me, as if she could see into my
mind. "If you think you can handle women like this then go ahead, run
to them with open arms, but I am telling you that men like yourself
cannot handle these creatures! Their hunger cannot be satisfied by
you!"

The stupidity of such a statement made me angry and I decided to speak
up and not cower from such a woman. I leant forward and said,

"Why would a woman act in such a way? There's no reason for it! Women
are not sexual creatures. Why would these women be any
different?"

Circe didn't answer my question. Instead she stood up slowly and
struck out her left arm to the lamp beside her, smashing it in a rage,
but the lack of light didn't darken her eyes. They flashed like fire
and penetrated my gaze as if she had stabbed me in the heart with a
dagger. The moon lit her face like a torch and I was paralysed in my
seat. She paused for a few moments, regaining her composure then
said,

"I take it that being such an adventurer you have heard of the lost
ships of Aegeon?" she asked still standing above me in the moonlight
keeping me still with her angry tone of voice.

"Y..yes. They were lost in the storms" I said.

"They died because of a force of nature but it had nothing to do with
any storm," she said with contempt. "The captains of these ships, some
even more brave and noble than yourself, if that's at all possible,
tried to pass by the island but they couldn't resist the song of these
women. They were lured onto its golden shores by the promise of a look,
of a touch, of a kiss from the creature which uttered such a noise.
They followed the sound, mesmerised, in a trance if you will. When they
saw her, sitting on a worn, grey rock on the beach, as naked as the day
she was born, they were captivated. They thought she was a mirage, an
oasis of pure pleasure, there to provide them with a complete
gratification. They wouldn't have turned away for the world so they
followed her. They pursued her through the forest and into a dewed,
green meadow where they stood in a line in front of her awaiting their
chance to taste her kisses and sweat. But she stopped singing and as if
on cue other women of her kind came forward from behind the trees and
took the men by the hand. Some took one, some took two or three, back
into the forest and they have never been seen since."

"But what do you mean? These women killed these men in cold blood? Why
would they do such a thing?"

"Believe me, the blood of these women is far from cold! Every vein and
artery flows with blood as hot as lava. These men are dead because they
looked at the women and believed that they could possess them entirely.
Like you they thought the women could be tamed, controlled, mounted
like a prized bird or panther but they are as free as the air or the
moon and cannot be overpowered by you. The fire inside them cannot be
extinguished and you will perish if you try!"

"But this is ridiculous!" I squealed, horrified by what I had heard.
"Women cannot live free and alone without any men! It's just not
right!"

"That, my boy, is exactly my point!" she shouted back. "These women
cannot live in harmony with the men of your world because your sex
won't let them be who they are! Yes you might think them beautiful,
they may arouse you and fill you with desire that you have not known
before but you will never let them live as they are. It is the passion
in her that you find attractive but it's exactly this passion that you
want to extinguish as soon as you touch her. You want her to be the
under control. You want her to do as you say and be passive in all
things but she won't be changed! You can't dominate her and if you try
you will be extinguished like a flame with no oxygen!"

As she spoke she towered above me and waved her arms with angry
gestures. More of her hair fell in front of her eyes and it seemed to
be darkening with every word she shouted. She looked different. She was
frightening but I couldn't move my eyes away from the form of her body.
Had I not have been so terrified I would have liked to touch her purple
gown and the skin beneath it.

"Enough!" she yelled, clenching her fists in the air. "You do what you
want but I shall not be responsible for what happens. On your head be
it, you have been warned!"

And with that she dismissed me with a wave of the hand. I stood up
quickly but felt unsteady on my legs as I moved cautiously towards the
door. She watched me the whole time, her eyes staring below a pair of
arched eyebrows. I said goodbye and thanked her for her concern but
insisted we would be fine on our way home to Troy. And I believed this.
I thought the things she had said were myths and fairy tales
constructed to unnerve the men who heard them, but when I looked back
at her, after opening the door of her small, dark cottage I was certain
that, just for an instant, she was the woman in that scroll, with
glowing honeyed skin, black hair and eyes that shone like emeralds
behind it. Then I blinked and she was Circe again, and she was
smiling.