Angels

Angels.

As the scorching midday sun beat heavily down four young girls sat
wearily
contemplating on the church they had just viewed.
"I thought if I saw one more church on this holiday I'd scream" Zoe
moaned "but that
one was different. It was errie, it reminded me of being back at
school, forced to go to
church every Friday morning..." Her words drifted off, her mind fell
back into a world
of blazers, books and rules.
"Scary" Claire added. She took a sip of her ice tea while
simultaneously catching the
stream of warm sweat trickling down her neck.
"Yeah, I mean I don't believe in god or anything, but that thousand
year old skeleton
spooked me big time."
"I don't believe in god either "Jane spoke. Her words serious, changing
the tone of the
idle chat. "But I know there are angels out there, looking over
us."

Loud patters of rain gloomily knocked at the window, every drip
getting
heavier. Dark clouds hid the gleaming moon with menacing control.
Whirling winds
teamed up with the rain battling harshly against the window which was
sure to come
crashing down at any moment. An illuminating flash of lighting light up
the darkened
room for an instant, bearly quick enough to be able to see the two
strained faces which
occupied it. They were red and full of anger. John stood with his back
to his wife,
hiding the tears that he no longer had control over. Alice stood facing
him, but her
eyes could be lifted no higher than the floor, she cried freely. Floods
of tears rolling
down her pink cheeks. John could not see them, but as he watched the
rolls of rain drip
sadly down the glass on the window he could imagine them. Concentrating
harder he
noticed the wind lashing the rain across the window with incredible
force he comforted
himself thinking how he would like to lash his wife with that strength
and aggression,
inflicting terrible pain on her.
"John, look at me .......please, I don't know what else to say to you.
John!"
He responded to her pleas with silence. Its not that he didn't want to
scream
and shout at her, in fact that would have probably made him feel
better, but he just
could not move. He couldn't turn his head to look at her, his feet
seemed to be nailed
to the floor, the muscles in his face had tensed up preventing him from
even speaking.
He could only listen. Listen and watch the explosive sky above.
Unknowing what to do Alice retreated. The silence having won this
battle.
Leaving the room she closed the door behind her. Pulling on her over
coat she tried to
keep her sobs under control, her shaking hands refused to do up her
buttons and after
the fifth attempt she gave up and pulled the small child who sat on the
stairs before her.
No words were spoken as she shoved the child into her own coat, which
seemed to
completely engulf her, leaving only two wide watery eyes peeping out
under a wide
brimmed hat.
"Mummy?"
Alice let out a sheepish laugh, not knowing what else to do. "Were
going
shopping darling." It was late, and the child should have been in bed,
but Alice was
scared to leave her here alone with John, she had never seen him like
this before.
Opening the heavy front door a gush of wind instantly hit them in the
face.
Realising the storm was getting worse Alice knew it would better to
stay at home. She
looked back at the closed door. She could see John behind it. Still
standing in the same
position. Holding firmly onto the child she went out into the
rain.
London's Oxford street was brimming with busy people rushing from shop
to
shop trying to finish last minute Christmas shopping. The terrible
weather seamed to
make everybody in even more of a rush to get to their warm cosy houses.
No one had
time for a young woman and her daughter who wondered aimlessly through
the stores.
Alice tried to life her mood for the sake of her daughter but could
only find herself
falling deeper into depression. For hours they walked the streets,
calling into the
occasional shop to warm their frozen bodies before returning to the
bitterly cold
evening.
"Mummy, look. Don't you think dad would love this?"
Alice looked over to see Clara holding up a thick woollen scarf. She
looked
adorable as she started to wrap herself in it. Alice couldn't help but
let out a small
chuckle, her daughter immediately acknowledged her change of
mood.
"Please can I get this for him? I haven't got him a present for
Christmas, and I can get
it from my pocket money."
How could she resist such a plea. As they left the shop Clara was egar
to get
home to wrap her present. She held the small red bag with pride in her
tiny hands, as if
her scarf was going to solve all her parents problems that she had so
often overheard
them shouting about.
The shops were closing now and Alice had no where else to go. She
glanced at
her watch and realised that they could still catch the last train if
they rushed.
As they approached the station their brisk walk was slowed by the
crowds of
people that blanketed the street. Everyone was heading in the same
direction. Alice
found it difficult to squeeze through. Eventually they found the
platform and squeezed
on. Not everyone is going to get on this train Alice thought to
herself, but I'm going to
get my baby home. She took Clara's hand and pushed her way to the
front, she noticed
that there was a little space at the end of the platform and so decided
to make her way
down there.
Eventually ten minuets latter the train pulled up. People pilled onto
it, pushing,
shoving and shouting at each other. The spirits of the people were low,
everyone
looked out for themselves and Alice did her best to make sure herself
and Clara got on
the train. She managed to fight her way to the front of the crowd,
forcing herself onto
the last carriage of the train. As people pilled on behind her she
found herself being
pushed further and further to the back, squashed up against the
opposite doors in a tiny
space. Alice pulled Clara close to her, holding on as tightly as she
could. A further ten
minutes passed as people continued to push and shove their way onto the
train. The
train was starting to get very hot and the quality of the air was
quickly falling. Clara
peered out from under her hat, thinking that the endless stream of
people would never
end, but she was just glad to be on the train and going home. Her pale
blue hands were
starting to warm up and she felt her checks burning as the life started
to re-enter them.
Finally as no more people could squeeze onto the train, and he guards
tried to
hold people back and the doors were trying to shut. The doors beeped a
warning
which sounded like sweet music to Clara, but echoed through Alice's
ears like an
alarm. Every beep became louder and more high pitched. The sound
started to effect
not only her ears but sent waves of panic through her whole body. Her
head started
pounding, she couldn't concentrate. She gasped her head in her hands,
they felt heavy
and hot. Her whole body felt warn out and weak, she stumbled and fell
forward as the
engine started.
"Open a window, please somebody open a window"
She screamed out, but her appeal fell on deaf ears. At that moment a
crippling
pain ripped through her body, she was being ripped in two. She screamed
out in agony,
yet the pain only continued. A sharp knife cutting through her major
organs. Freezing
shivers ran wild up and down her spine, hot and cold sweats took it in
turns to invade
her body.
"Somebody help my mother, she's not well" Clara screamed out.
"Back off and give her some air, its too crowded on here, that's all,
she'll be all right
once she gets off"
A tall rugged man answered Clara's scream ruddily. He wore his hat
pulled
over his face, the brim covering his eyes and leaving the rest of his
face in shadow. His
long grey Mac was tied tightly over his plump figure. He gave Clara a
beaming look
which made her retreat her eyes to the floor. He was still watching her
when she
regained the courage to glimpse at him. She could feel her eyes
watering up but
refused to give in to him.

John had finally managed to move himself. Slumped in the armchair in
front of
the telly with a beer in his hand is where he planned to stay untill
Alice came home. He
knew exactly what he would do then. Her case was packed and waiting for
her in the
door way. He would get rid of her once and for all. He thought back to
the events of
this evening. His horror and shock of finding that she had another
lover. The pain of
her telling him this man meant nothing, yet she had been seeing him for
two years. His
resentment. She had made him feel like dirt, and he was going to do the
same to her,
he would make her understand what she had done to him. He stared at the
TV screen.
His mind vacant, jumping from place to place, thinking about his life.
He knew she
had gone shopping, he heard her tell Clara, but why were they so long,
they had been
gone hours. The last train would have left by now, and he knew she had
no where else
to go at this time of night, she wouldn't dare take his daughter to her
boyfriends house.

Suddenly he was drawn to the TV screen. It had caught his attention,
but he
couldn't work out what was going on. "NEWSFLASH.....NEWSFLASH" Trying
to
collect himself all he could see were images, but why was she drawn to
it?
"NEWSFLASH" He felt some kind of importance to the pictures on the
screen,
but what was it?
Wait, he recognised the places on the screen "NEWSFLASH" some
disaster,
"NEWSFLASH" He could make out the ambulances and the firemen, there was
a
policeman on the screen now, trying to give out instructions of some
kind.
"NEWSFALSH.....Please don't come down here!...Emergency hotline
number....."
The newscaster reclaimed the screen, in her glory now, reporting the
facts of
the event. John could only hear some of the facts, if was as if his
brain was sifting out
the important information, but his had was still spinning, there was
still too much.
"At eleven fifty one this evening.......train from Charing Cross"
"Lewisham.....fatal accident....two hundred dead..."
Finally it all made sense, his body went numb, just as it had done
earlier. He
couldn't feel anything. Not anger, pain, fear not even the hatred he
felt earlier that
evening. He jumped up from his chair but felt over come by a feeling of
sick, his legs
quivered underneath him and he fell back into his chair.
"My wife! My God! My daughter and my wife were on that at train! My
God"
Finally it had hit him. John started to get anxious, but there was no
one in the
house to help him, this time he had to help them. Looking a the screen
again he noticed
that the train had crashed just before Lewisham, where they would have
been due to
get off. He jumped up and forgetting the weather outside ran out in his
T-shirt and
jeans.
Before he had even reached the station he could hear the faint cry's
of the
injured and their families. He could see the lights of the emergency
cars and helpers,
but most of all he could smell the crash. The faint smell of death
lingered in the air,
knowing that it still had lives to claim, a damp musty smell combined
with the smell of
petrol and fumes. The rain had finally stopped but the damp leaves on
the ground clung
to his shoes like his companions joining him in the fight to find his
family. Crowds of
people marked the spot. Everyone wanted to see the sights, except John,
scared of
what he might find, he knew he had to fight his way to the front of the
crowd, just like
his wife had done earlier. He knew he had to search through the rubble,
and dead
bodies until he found them, he knew he had to, but he didn't want
to.
John Finagen walked along damp marshy ground. The train stood
motionless,
stuck in time for all to see, acting as a reminder of the events of
this evening. He
looked at it, still and at rest, calm in the mist of the chaos going on
around it, as if it
had nothing to do with this tragedy, it didn't belong in this hectic
scene. Looking down
the distance of it he could see the last two carriages were crumpled
up. Squashed into
one as if the Gods above had grabbed them up in their bare hands and
thrown them
away in a fit of anger. Looking back to the grass that surrounded him
all he could see
was red. Red everywhere. He grimaced, John never could stand the sight
of blood,
now there was no escaping it.
An elderly woman sat on the ground. She whimpered softly as she tried
to
move her arm, she looked around her, searching for somebody but there
was no one
there. John kept on walking, passing a young father over the body of
his daughter, this
scene was repeated all around him, the faces were different but the
sight was the same.
He felt an overwhelming feeling of sick creeping up on him again, He
bent over into
the bushes and vomited, he felt terrible, he wanted to go home and feel
safe, but he had
to keep on going. Finally he reached the rows of bodies. The empty
shells whose lives
had been pulled out of them. The victims of the crash. Some of them
were fortunate
enough to be covered in white sheets, others only had mere cloths to
cover their faces.
John walked the line, to scared to even look at them. When he reached
the end he
walked back.
"Come on John, you've got to do this." He told himself. Walking down
the line again
he started to life the covers off the bodies that he could make out to
be female. One by
one as he looked at the peaceful faces. Not cold and lifeless, just
sleeping he assured
himself. As he reached further down the line he could feel the emotions
inside him
building up inside him. He felt anger, that so many lives had ended for
no reason. All of
these people would have families who would have to come down and do the
same as
he found himself doing now. John had realised he had reached the end of
the line, yet
he had not found his family. He returned to the beginning and started
all over again,
this time looking at every body. Three more times John searched the
line. As the sun
tried to lighten the scene it remained a dark day. John had searched
everywhere
without finding his family. He decided to retreat back to his house,
not knowing what
else to do. Should he feel happy or sad that he didn't find them? Does
this mean
something good or bad? He was so confused.
John ached all over. His legs were tired of walking and found it
difficult to
make their way back to his house. Johns body was exhausted, but his
mind would not
rest. Finally he was home. He sat back down in his chair and switched
on the television
to see the latest news, but all he could hear was the same facts that
were still
swimming around in his head from earlier.
He sat back. He could feel the water in his eyes starting to gather
up, just as he
gave into them and let the floods roll down his cheek he heard a key
turn in the door,
unsure of what was going on he sat in silence, listening. Yes he was
sure the door was
opening now, he heard light footsteps walking in. John jumped up and
rushed to the
door, standing in the doorway he heard a voice.
"Mummy, I don't believe you made us get off that train and walk all the
way home.
I'm freezing cold and my legs ache. You knew it was the last train, why
did you make
us do that? and then all the people were shouting at us for delaying
them even
more...."
Alice turned to see John standing in the door. His tears fell
uncontrollably free
now. As Alice looked at him she knew everything would be all
right.
"I just had a bad feeling" Alice mumbled to her daughter.
John walked up to Alice and grabbed hold of her. Holding her tight and
close
to him.

"My gran swore she never knew what that felling was, but she knew
someone was
telling her to get off the train that night, and if she didn't, well, I
definitely wouldn't be
here now!! Janes words finished the story so concisely. The girls sat
astounded and
speechless. Suddenly even the scorching holiday sun couldn't warm their
icy bodies.
Claire reached to her neck, wiping off a cold sweat.