High Priest Confessions 4

*Warning! Only solidly grounded Scholars in the Jewish faith can be
allowed to read this. Full of heresy. Claims to be a document
containing a High Priest's confessions circa 40 AD that Jesus of
Nazareth was the Messiah. Translation follows:

High Priest Confessions:

I am Caiaphas, High Priest of Israel. Is there anyone among my people
more knowledgeable of the Law? Anyone more devoted to our teachings?
Who in all Israel is more obedient than I? I have been called a "Priest
among Priests" a living example of holiness, and a defender of all that
is righteous. So then why do I feel unworthy and sinful? Why does my
sleep flee from me in the night and become filled with those haunting
visions and dreams. Who was this Jesus of Nazareth! What power did he
possess to haunt me so from the grave?

Those were my feelings for several years after the crucifixion of
Jesus, which I played no small part. My study of the Law and prayer
time were constantly interrupted with memories from the past. Clearly,
I would recall upon reading a passage in Isaiah or else where in the
scriptures a conversation or comment that Jesus had made. Mostly, I was
haunted by that last day, the day my plots and schemes were successful.
My ears rang with the memory of his words in reply to Pilate, "You are
right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and
for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on
the side of truth listens to me." Shortly, afterward, I incited the
crowd to shout for Barabbas to be released instead of this false
messiah. I was the loudest voice among the people, with my arms raging
violently toward Pilate until Jesus turned and looked at me. We all
know that the High Priest has the special privilege of entering the
holiest place within the temple so as to commune directly with God. My
first conversation with God did not occur within that holy place but
within my heart and mind that day as Jesus pierced my heart with His
truth.

"Caiaphas, my son, why do you doubt me?"

My arms dropped, my yelling became a mumble as I looked around for the
person who was speaking to me.

"Are you not the High Priest? Can I not speak with you today or is the
High Priest of all Israel too busy?"

Frantically, I looked about me&;#8230;the rest of the crowd was
still yelling for Barabbas&;#8230;then I looked back toward Jesus.
His eyes were fixed on me. His lips did not move, his thoughts bore
into my mind.

"You expected a King to free you from the tyranny of the Romans and
fulfill the scriptures. I am that King, I have fulfilled
the last detail of the law, and today I make a way of freedom for all
mankind."

"Who are you?" I mumbled amid the rages of the crowd.

"Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph and Mary, Son of God, your
King."

They took him away to be flogged. My mind was numb and I did not feel
the pats on the back of my fellow priests expressing their gratitude
for my leadership in this matter. How can this be? Who was this man? I
moved to the back of the crowd trying to gather my thoughts. I sat for
awhile, meditated and recited many laws in my mind. This calmed me
until I heard the crowd, yelling, "Crucify him!, Crucify him!"

As Pilate handed Jesus over to be crucified, I pressed forward in the
crowd making eye contact one last time.

"Caiaphas&;#8230;I do this for you." I fainted.

Long have been the nights pondering these things. I read the
scriptures in a new way now. My prayers have meaning and I feel they
are being heard. For I have seen the face of my Savior and heard His
voice in my heart and mind. For me to express this truth openly is
certain death. My only hope is that the truth of this confession will
make amends for my life of wasted religious zeal.