Why Get High?

Why get high?
For this one time
For this every time,
Be real.
I don’t need all of it.
I don’t need all of it.
Can I not? Yes, of course. Of course I can do without.
But I can, not. I choose not to do without.
I should smoke a cig.
Maybe half. I think I need a half.
But I want to have it all.
I want to have it all.

Be a friend, search for myself.
Which self do I want?
I don’t know where to find where am I.
Where am I?
Does it matter where, when I can say anything?
I love myself.
I hate myself.
All the time I find ways to get out.
To get out… though I usually stay in.