Do you want to?

'Do you think I am fat?' Clara's voice sounded anxious.

'Well of course you are. But it's normal, you are pregnant after all,' John replied.

The table fell silent. Most of the women were looking at their plate or at Clara, awaiting for her reaction. Sarah turned towards her brother and raised her eyebrows.

Later that afternoon, once they had reached the intimacy of John's car, Sarah expressed her anger. They had had that very same conversation many times before. Always, she blamed him for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. She went over it once again and John defended himself the best he could. Maybe he was a little tactless but he wasn't this big heartless man she described. He dropped her off in front of her flat and went back home. The lights were on so he rushed in quickly, asking his girlfriend Sonia how her day had been. She appeared in the door frame, eyes and nose redder than a tomato. He hugged her.

'You have failed your driving test again?'

'Yes,' she replied. 'I don't even know why this time, I did everything by the book. Didn't stall or anything like that.' She sniffled, her head tucked in his wool jumper.

'It's not as if you're a good driver, mind. You're always nervous as hell,' John remarked.

Sonia stirred away from his body and looked at him in disbelief. 'I beg your pardon?'

'All I am saying is I am not surprised you failed. I wouldn't exactly say you're a good driver.'

'Thanks for the show of confidence! I can't believe you're saying that.'

'Come on, don't get upset. You know what I mean.'

'Why can't you give me just a little bit of support for once in a while? You know, tell me I will pass it next time. A few nice words.'

Sonia walked off to their bedroom and he followed her. She shut the door before he could join her. He heard the click of the lock.

'Darling, I didn't mean to upset you.'

'Don't you darling me!'

'Please, let me apologise.'

'Tomorrow, yes you will. Tonight, you are sleeping on the sofa. I am exhausted anyway, the baby has been kicking all day.'

He went to the kitchen and opened a can of beer. He switched the TV on and settled for an old western flick.

John spent the following day whingeing about his girlfriend's mood swings. His colleagues were either amused or sympathetic. Most of them warned him it was nothing next to what he will endure once the baby would be born; sleepless nights, house littered with toys, screaming children at family meals, no time left to do anything . . .

He stopped at Marks & Spencer on the way home and bought some flowers and a piece of jewellery for Sonia. He laid out the flowers in the shape of a rose on the kitchen table and prepared dinner. Salmon with pepper cream and potatoes, her favourite dish. She arrived soon after. She was smiling and looked less tired than she had had for a week.

He sat her down. He knelt and said he had a little speech for her. He took out a small black box from his pocket and presented it to her. She looked at him and her face lit up. He smiled at her and started talking very slowly.

'Do you want . . .'

She could hardly wait for the end of the sentence. Her body was arched towards him. Her eyes were misty.

'. . . to . . .'

'Yes!' There, she had said it. As she flung her arms around his neck, he finished his sentence.

'. . . accept my apologies, please?' He opened up the box. It was a broche with five letters spelling out 'SORRY'. She sat right up with her mouth open, her eyes turning to anger and her cheeks to crimson pink.

John had grabbed her by the arm and was trying to pull her closer for a hug but he was met with a fist pushing his chest away.

'What? What's wrong now?' He asked.

'It's not funny to joke like this, I feel like an idiot now.'

'Why? I don't understand.'

'I thought you were asking me to get married, you idiot!'

'Why on Earth would you think that?' John laughed very loudly, visibly amused by the idea.

His laugh sounded like sarcasm to her ears. This was more than she could bear. She got to her feet and shouted.

'I don't know what I am doing with you if you think the idea of marrying me is so funny!'

John was puzzled. Sonia had never expressed any strong desire to get married and had always said he didn't need to propose to show his commitment and love. So he had never considered proposing, even as she got pregnant. Wedding money was better spent on a house as far as he was concerned.

Sonia called her mother. John couldn't hear the whole conversation as Sonia had once again barricaded herself in their bedroom. He heard his name a few times and a lot of anger in her voice. She stayed in there until the doorbell rang. Her mother was waiting for her in the car. She told John she would be in touch and that he shouldn't call her. He watched her go, powerless.

He drank quite a few beers that night and didn't feel too good when he woke up the following day. He called his sister for advice and listened to her for a good half hour.

The rest of the day passed with no major hiccup. He was distracted and didn't do much work. His mobile was sat underneath his computer screen. It went off a couple of times.

It was Sarah both times. He went shopping after work and bought the widescreen TV Sonia had been talking about for a while. He thought that watching TV was an unhealthy activity but he wanted to show her that he respected her and her lifestyle choices. He went home, installed the new TV in the living room and started cleaning the house. Making his way slowly, it wasn't until way past midnight when he finally collapsed on the couch and fell asleep almost immediately.

Saturday came and went; he still hadn't heard from Sonia. His sleep was constantly interrupted; he didn't seem to be able to doze off for more than one hour at once. He woke up in the middle of the night and wrote a poem for her.

I cannot sleep, I cannot rest,
Without you, I cannot be.
Yes, life, with you, is at its best
And much better than me and me.
I'm such a fool to let you go,
Each second brings sorrows and fears.
You can be sure that tomorrow
I will have drowned in my own tears.

On Sunday morning, he rushed to the post office to get there before pick up time. Then he called his sister and read her the poem.

'You told me to show my love so I did!' John said with a proud voice.

'That's too much John, she's going to freak out.'

'Why? I thought it would be nice to write something to her.'

'Maybe, but only once she's back. Right now, you've got to let her breathe.'

'But you said I should fight for her!'

'Yes, fight with the three magic words. You don't even say them in the poem!'

'What magic words?'

' 'I love you' of course!'

'But the poem means that.'

'The poem is a very long way of saying it. She just needs you to say the right thing at the right time for once! No detour, no joke, no double entendre, no half finished sentence. Three simple words when she comes back home, that's all you need to do.'

'Oh shit, I have messed it up even more now, haven't I?'

'Maybe it's not too late. Write her a letter telling her about the poem and then telling her 'I love you'.'

'But the poem will get there first!'

'Hand--deliver the letter, you silly!'

'OK, I'll do that. Thanks sis'.'

John did exactly as his sister had advised him to. He was fairly confused about what to do and what to say most of the time but he trusted his sister. She had always been much better equipped than him in the human relations department; she didn't see the world and its inhabitants as a big farce like he did. He drove to Sonia's mother and parked in front of the house. He took the envelope from the passenger seat and got out of the car. He felt nervous as he took the few steps to the door. Sonia had clearly told him not to go there. He dropped the envelope through the door and waited until he heard it hit the floor. He turned back and ran to his car. As he started the engine, Sonia appeared at the door, her arms folded. She was holding it but hadn't opened it yet. She waved at him so he lowered his car window to talk with her.

'I know you said I shouldn't come but I had something I needed to tell you, something I wanted you to know.' He smiled at her but his eyes betrayed his fear. His heart was beating very fast.

'I am listening . . .'

'I know I act like a dufus sometimes but beneath, I have nothing but respect and love for you.' Sonia unfolded her arms. 'I guess what I am trying to say is I am not perfect but I promise I will always try to do my best because I love you.'

'Come here you dufus,' Sonia said amicably, 'and give me a kiss.'

John promptly obeyed her and they hugged for a good five minutes.

'You better take me home now,' Sonia said, 'before I change my mind.' They both laughed and for the first time in four days, John felt he had said the right thing.

The following day, John, Sonia, Sarah and Clara were on the bus back from the cinema. They were all in a joyous mood, still laughing at scenes of the comedy they had just watched. A seat emptied near John and both him and Clara took a step towards it. John reached it first and told Clara.

'I would offer you this seat but Sonia said that anyway, it's better for pregnant women to stand up because the bumps of the road feel stronger when seating.' He sat down calmly, put his small rucksack on his lap and looked up. The three women were gobsmacked. Sonia's face was distorted with anger. Sarah's face had gone blank. Clara was firing up secret bullets with her eyes. He got to his feet before any of them could say anything.

'I was joking obviously!' They looked at each others then laughed. He was pleased with himself, for getting out of this awkward situation in such a funny way. He made a mental note of keeping his mouth shut for a while.