My Christmas Dream

(Nice as a short story, right?)

I had a dream last night. We were walking home together, I was happy, but we had to go opposite directions, you to your home and I to mine. I didn’t want to leave you, I just wanted to stay by your side a little longer, but we parted ways, anyway. I was at home, I took a shower, I went on msn and you were home. I wanted to see you, to be with you, so I put on some outside clothes, even though I just showered, and I went to see you. Well, that was the initial point in me leaving the house. See, I was thinking of you the whole way but my feet; they were taking me to Eglinton. It was strange. And what’s more is that instead of buildings close to Eglinton and Caledonia, there was a large hospital. I didn’t go through the hospital’s main door way, but rather a side door where they weren’t able to collect my information. I actually thought it would be fun to ride in a wheelchair whilst in the hospital, that maybe it would look more like I belonged. It was weird, now that I was in the hospital I just decided to see if I could find some friends. I found an elevator and pressed the up button. There were about 10 floors of the hospital. On the top of the wall above the elevator was a picture that showed what the 10 levels were mainly for in a very colourful arrangement. A pediatric medic ward was highlighted green, then above it would be a yellow ward (I can’t remember the other floors other than the one’s I noticed in the dream), then a blue, then a white, then another green. The other green ward was a males medic ward/female.

Well, you could only see this floor guide from the inside of the elevator. Before I got into the elevator though, a doctor approached me. The doctor was; male, white, about 6’1, blue eyes; rectangular face until you hit the chin where it rounded off; young about late 20’s, early 30’s; brown hair, short, buzz cut, longer at the front and gelled up. He asked me if I was Alisa. I knew I wasn’t allowed in this area of the hospital unless sent by a doctor or something and that telling the truth would get me in a lot of trouble. I said it’s Alisha. He asked me if I was lying and if it’s just that I should not be in this area of the hospital; if I checked in at reception. I just said ‘No, it’s Elecia’. So he took me to the green ward. Apparently, this Alisa girl, who I felt guilty about taking her doctor and medical service, was supposed to have an ultra sound. I knew the doctor knew I wasn’t Alisa, I assumed he already had a vague idea of what she was to look like and I did NOT match the profile. It also seemed like he knew I didn’t actually need a wheelchair, but that’s because I kept moving my legs. I think he was seeing how far I would go, and I was seeing how far I could go without getting too deep. So I went to get my ultra sound. Alisa was to have octuplets. That’s a lot of babies…. Now I knew that I would be screwed; I WASN’T PREGNANT!! So I did the ultrasound anyway and it turned out the results were that I had, currently TWELVE babies inside of me. Shock or not, I was crying my eye’s out. I don’t even know how that could work. The doctors were mystified, I didn’t look like I was holding twelve babies, and they decided to run more tests. I cried myself to sleep but woke up pretty fast; within half an hour. The doctors were going to place me in a different room. There were 3 rows of beds and at least 14 in each row. I took a top bed. They told me I have a disease, it was unknown and they didn’t have a cure but so far that the other children in the hospital with me had the same disease too, that in the city they were the only ones they found with this disease. There were little kids under 10 and older kids up to my age. I didn’t know what was going on, people just lied there, some talked but most just moaned and were sad. The doctor who took me to my ultrasound said he wanted my health number, truth is out, I told him, and I know he knew who I really was then as he wrote it down, but it didn’t matter, apparently, by the looks of most of the kids who were with me, I was REALLY sick. The doctor jotted down all my information and left. I wanted to know what I had, what was going to happen to me. I had to get home or my mom would be pissed. It was getting really late. I hated my feet for taking me here; I just wanted to see you the most. There were some nurses in there taking care or just trying to make the kids who were in the more serious part of the disease more comfortable. I asked them, ‘what is this? What do I have?’ Someone told me, they don’t have a name for it. It’s kind of like MS. Slowly you are going to lose your ability to speak, and then lose most of the mobility of your body, in that order; but it’s different because after that comes the defining moment. Once you have reached those areas of your sickness, you will then either die, or lives and get stronger little by little. I was in the hospital so they could help me, to the best of their ability, be one of the people who get better and stronger, little by little.

I left the hospital. I had to get home. I slept that night and woke up, showered and went out. I reached the hospital again and this time went to reception first. I waited and sat down when called. I told them while they were checking my information that I was here before, I had that weird disease and that I left to go home. They asked if my name was Elecia Kerr, and of course I replied, ‘yes’. They looked at me a bit that made me feel very uncomfortable and said ‘well you can go back up to the room you were in before we already have all your information from your doctor’. I said ok and went to go to the elevator. Whilst on my way, more as just as I got up and turned around to leave I saw the doctor from the other day. He gave me a sympathetic look and I knew things were about to suck. I went to the room and just sat on the bed after putting my stuff down. I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t feel anything. I did feel a bit tired, but that’s it. I wanted to leave again. I texted you; I told you that I was in the hospital and that I was sick, and I asked you if you would come and visit me. You said you would. I was happy, with that I went to sleep. I woke up and it was still the morning of the same day. I wondered in my head what time I really got there and if I really just fell asleep. I shrugged it off; I had to spend my time here somehow. I texted you again; I told you that I missed you. You replied the same. You didn’t say anything afterwards so I assumed you were busy, and I didn’t want to be a bother. I sat up in bed and looked at everyone. I decided to talk to myself to entertain myself. My voice was cracky, but then again I just woke up. I realized, I didn’t have anything to say to myself and frankly I felt more tired than I did before, so I went back to sleep. I woke up and it was noon. They were offering us food but no one seemed to want any other than the kids that were talking and moving around. I wasn’t hungry, and I tried to tell them that, but my voice had gone to a hoarse whisper. I had been sleeping a bit, so that was normal, and I haven’t talked in awhile, so it seemed logical. I didn’t worry. I laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I felt this weird pressure on my chest like severe gravity. I didn’t like it. I got up with a little difficulty. My head felt heavy, that happens sometimes when you’re tired. I felt tired, like I haven’t slept in 3 days. My head was spinning a bit, I figured I was dehydrated and tired so I got some water from my water bottle that I brought and sipped a bit. I didn’t feel better, frankly, I was feeling worse. I believe my mom knew I was at the hospital, my family didn’t care and I told my mom not to worry, it was just a thing the doctors were complaining about and that I’m there so it won’t get worse like it could be. With that on my mind I lay back in bed and slept. I woke up in about half an hour, it was weird, usually I could sleep 2 hours at a time but now only thirty minutes. I looked at everyone else. Some children were crying, but you couldn’t hear them, just see their tears. I noticed some of the people who were severely ill before I went to sleep, trying with all their might to pick themselves out of bed were now… Well, they could leave the hospital, they just wouldn’t know it. The children that were once were talking and eating were sleeping or sitting silently in bed. It started to feel real, and I was getting scared.

The next morning came but I didn’t really notice. I had to use a wheelchair for real by now, my feet weren’t working. Then pressure on my chest was all the time, not just when I lay down. I had to switch beds but all I really wanted was for you to comfort me. I moved beds and sat on my new one. Someone died in this bed; why was I placed on it? I texted you, you didn’t respond. I figured it was too early. You didn’t come yesterday, but then you didn’t say when you would, I hoped it would be today. I lay in bed. The nurses came around with food again, less people took some. I wondered if I should force myself to eat, maybe then I wouldn’t die like the boy who used to sleep in this bed. I looked around and figured it might be okay. But as I had decided that, a little girl about twelve started puking violently. There was no way she ate as much as she threw up, now I know why you shouldn’t eat, if you’re not hungry. That little girl died the next day. So in this case eating speeds up death, but starving can’t do much can it? And why weren’t most of us on IV’s then? There must be some reason. Maybe that would kill us too. I wondered if I would die. I wondered if you would come and see me already. I was here for my third day, fourth if you count the day I left, which I didn’t. Where were you? Were you that busy? Probably. I wanted to call you but I couldn’t. I couldn’t kid myself anymore, my voice was gone and I was crippled, and I am going to become paralyzed and then die just like most of the children that were here. I texted you, my arms were so heavy, my fingers were tired as I opened the phone, I cried when pushing the buttons, everything was becoming too hard. I wrote ‘Good Morning! ^_^’, hoping you would respond. You did. You said it back. I asked if you were coming today. You said you might. My fingers were tired, I was tired. I closed my phone and went to sleep. I woke up. I couldn’t get up. I tried not to cry, but it’s not like the rest of the children weren’t crying. Why is it that I didn’t see any parents? Were we contagious? I don’t think we were, so why were there no visitors. I was mad. I told myself that I was going to get up, I was going to get out of here by tomorrow and I was going to see you. I tried rolling onto my stomach but it was like someone was holding me down. That thought made me cry a lot. I still kept trying, silently crying like the other children. I realized that’s what I must have seen when I first came here, when I saw tears, and even now, children trying to fight the disease and move! I kept trying. I was able to move my arms a little so put all my strength into them and pushed myself up. I barely moved before I was tired. I was crying so much. I didn’t want to die like this, in this BED! I don’t know how, but I got to a sit up position. I cried and cried for hours. It was so hard. Why wouldn’t you come and see me? I was getting tired. Exhausted actually, I fell asleep.

The next day I woke up on the floor on my side. I pushed and pushed myself up. It didn’t seem as hard. Was I getting better? I was so tired though, and dehydrated. I sat up and everything was spinning, I was going to pass out. I got into my wheelchair and motioned a nurse for water. She obliged. I felt sick drinking it and ended up throwing up. I felt like stone. I couldn’t move. I fell asleep in my chair. I woke up in my bed. I had to get better or I’ll never see you or my family again. I stayed in bed for the rest of the day though, that water was bad stuff. I think the hospital was putting something in our water and food to kill us off, maybe to make more space for more sick kids or something.

Two days passed and I felt better. With difficulty I was getting in and out of my wheelchair and I was rolling around a bit. I had to get out, so I did. I was outside the hospital, at a bus stop when I noticed that I recognized some kids. They had been in the ward with me. They had also recovered. I texted you and told you, you no longer had to visit me at the hospital, that I was going home and you could visit me there. You said ‘ok’. I was happy. I got on a bus and was on my way home when I looked out the window and saw the boys at the bus stop who were in my ward. They had not gotten on the bus and now they were on the ground. I freaked, I rang the bell and got off. I rolled to the three boys I knew and there was one boy slightly away from them. I went to the one singled out, he was dead. I rolled back to the three boys, they’re breathing looked shallow. I had to do something, but what. I tried calling 911 but my voice was quiet and scratchy and high pitched; I was freaking out. I figured they would trace the call hopefully and I stayed with them for awhile. I already knew they were all going to die. They had completely recovered, I thought as they were all taken in an ambulance. They were talking and laughing and walking on they’re feet. I felt better, I could push myself on the wheelchair faster and I didn’t feel as heavy or tired, but how long would that last? I rolled myself back to the hospital. I might live longer if I stayed there, and it would be nice if I didn’t drop down suddenly dead in front of the people I loved.

From when I got out of the bus to see the boys on the ground, I realized it was becoming more difficult to push myself again. I figured it was weak muscles. Rolling back to the hospital I knew what it really was, a relapse. With this disease, I don’t think you could ever get away. I got back to the ward and back to my bed. It was fairly difficult by then to roll into bed as I had become heavy again. I probably would never see my family or you again. I cried myself to sleep.

Weird dream for Christmas day…